If you're feeling a bit down it will be hard going and slow, I always feel incredibly tired when I have to move house/countries. Motivatation can be the hardest part. Why not go and get some pampering as well ie a massage, facial, they are always a good pick me up.

Changes and going back into the unknown can be scary, why not think of it as a new challenge and adventure and get excited about it. Fear is my biggest motivator in making me get off my butt and make the life I want as I hate being in limbo. Drinking doesn't help, as the problem is still there when you sober up, so then you have to deal with the hangover as well as the problems. Think of things you have done in the past that made you feel scared and how things worked out okay in the end. Try and make this change fun and challenging it makes it so much easier and less effort than feeling as if you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders and everything is hard work. Going back to bed is the easiest thing in the world.. but nothing gets done then. Which sounds a good idea, I feel I need a kick up the butt today, as I look at the piles of work I have to do, and my bed is tempting me to lie on it.......(no I'll resist.....)

pm if you want to chat more

Cheers
Merc.

So I'm not alone! I know exactly how you feel and I feel I'm getting increasingly paranoid about opening my mouth and saying something, ready for the smart-alec comment about what I said and especially how I said it.

Exactly!!

- Sounds like you are where I was 3 weeks or so ago. I paid one of our grad students (hard worker) $10/hr just to help me sort out the house. He worked for maybe 5 or 6 hours. I spent 4 days solid just cutting the grass, planting some annuals, tidying the house (just chuck stuff in boxes and hide in the attic - you can always take it out later), treating and painting a hallway that had some mold, re-caulking the bathtub, cleaning windows, pressure washing the deck and driveway, spraying smellies in every room, etc. Also just get rid of "clutter" - pack away half of your clothes so the wardrobes don't look too small, remove half of your ornaments/bric-a-brac from the shelves, etc.

- When you are used to doing everything yourself it's amazing what a difference it makes having just one helper for a few hours.

- I had two offers (full price) from the first two viewers, and both commented on the garden and how fresh everything looked. That, plus the fact I priced it to sell, are what made the difference I'm convinced.

Good luck with the house sale!

Hey,
we must watch the same TV programs ...house doctor?
Thats what we did..and sold it for full price within 4 weeks.
I did say to hubby...why can the house not always look like that , its just all that clutter

It is good to hear that all the effort works and you got full price. I have now admitted to myself that I cant do it all alone, so I have started to get some help in. I work full time and at the moment my weekends are taken up with washing walls and cleaning carpets, looks great after though! Still got more rooms to do and it seems never ending.

The house is not too cluttered but got a bit of work to do there too. Hoping I will have it all done to put on the market at beginning of spring (initially had hopes of by end of month but have realised that is not realistic and the beginning of spring is probably a better time to put it on the market anyway.

Any chance of borrowing your grad student?

Hi Merc,

I am getting it all under control here and realised I will not be ready to put on the market until the beginning of spring, which is okay.

I realise I have never been scared before, I just did things!

If the place needs painting - paint.

If it really does not need painting - paint some hidden corners or whatever.

The smell of paint works wonders!

What a great idea. I am washing the walls and they come up looking great, a bit of paint in hidden corners sounds like a great idea, think I'll give it a go!

Hiya

I live in Murcia, now to be honest absolutely, we cant wait to get away from Spain, we have been here now for 2 years, we have a new villa, pool, large garage, large plot, etc etc, my husband is a hard landscaper by trade, he can not get any work here, unless you can speak fluent in Spanish, working here is restricted with the Brits, who wont pay you much maybe 4 euros an hr, the Spanish wont employ just anyone either, unemployment here is very high, we are lucky that we have enough money to live on, but our place is up for sale, and soon as we get a buyer we want out, the FLIES drive me F.......G CRAZY its too hot in the summer here, over 100 degrees, we have a dream villa but I would rather my old semi back in South UK any day, BAD move for us, as my hubbies business back home was very successful, we listened to others about coming here, and regretted it ever since, its a good life if you dont mind sitting in the sun all day, retired YES, but if your actively minded, need to work, forget it

Those are the TRUE facts, being lived by people here, and we are not the only ones, read this newsletter below.


Thought some of you may find this article interesting

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

A Cautionary Tale Half of those who chose to make a new life in Spain end up returning home. But why does the dream turn sour for so many? Ian Frewer spoke to established expats who offer advice to the new arrivals on the Costas.

"A lot depends on whether they came to Spain, or whether they just left England."

Steve Hall is a successful entrepreneur based in Torrevieja, near Alicante, in southern Spain, who also runs The Newcomers Club, a group offering advice and social contact to people newly arrived in Spain.

Offering advice is not always easy, to people who don't want to take it.

"I reckon about half of those who come out here below pensionable age go back within two years," Steve told us. "A lot of the problem is that they believe too much of what they're told before they come out here".

"They believe they'll get a job, that they can manage on far less money than they actually need, that everything will somehow just fall into place. But it doesn't.

I reckon about half of those who come out here below pensionable age go back within two years, Steve Hall, of The Newcomers Club "The truth is that jobs are few and far between, that you may not get a phone line for years, the area is saturated with British tradesman, the cost of living is not as low as people think, and that Spanish bureaucracy can drive you mad at times!"

Hall knows; he sometimes has the sad job of telling someone that their best bet is to return home, if they can't manage in Spain, and he seldom gets any thanks for that piece of advice.

Gary and Terri Hart, both in their forties, originally from Huntingdon, in Cambridgeshire, are returning home to England as soon as they sell their house in Villamartin, on the Costa Blanca, in southern Spain.

"We thought I'd be able to make a living out here, me being an experienced builder, but it's been hopeless." Gary told us, "The only way to get any work is to price it so low that you undercut everyone else, and then there's no profit in it. Terri helps out in a bar sometimes, but that only pays peanuts."

But it isn't just financial.

Dreams can turn sour

"I miss the children, but especially I miss seeing my grandson grow up. He's three now, and he hardly knows me, when we go back," said Terri, her eyes filling up with tears.

"My younger daughter's expecting in November, and I just want to be there with her. We're missing out on so much, and I can't even speak to her often, as still haven't got a phone line."

"Much of it comes down to language," Steve Hall told us, "Most newcomers don't know any Spanish, and then they feel isolated. That's why we give free Spanish lessons at the club. Learn Spanish, and you can always cope with a situation."

It's a different story for those who retire to Spain, with a decent pension. George and Rose Halliday are in their sixties, and moved to Spain four years ago, having previously owned a holiday apartment for years.

"We know the area, we have a circle of friends, and we can manage fine on our income." Rose said.

Forget about living the dream, the reality's what counts, and it isn't easy living. I just wish someone would tell them the truth, instead of leading them on. Peter Sharron, businessman "Okay, we miss the grandchildren, but they come out to see us quite often, and we go back two or three times a year. Our children are adult, now, and they have their own lives, so they dont really miss us that much."

George feels that, like so much in life, it all comes down to money; an income sufficient to support your chosen lifestyle, and to provide things like a telephone, and a computer for emails, and to pay for an interpreter when you need one, and to own a home you're happy in, and to travel back to the UK when you feel like it.

"It's all about income, not capital. With today's interest rates, you need a heck of a lot of capital to provide a decent income, but a good pension, or shrewd investments give you the income you need. Money may not buy happiness, but it certainly helps!" he says.

Even so, a fifty per cent failure rate among expats who try to make a new life in Spain is an alarming statistic.

Peter Sharron runs a successful removal company in Alicante, in south east Spain, and gets to speak to many of those returning to England. "So many of those who go back came out here for a fresh start," he told us,

"They don't do their homework, they don't research the realities of life out here. I have to blame many of the selling agents, and even the TV shows that make it seem so easy to start up out here.

"The fact is that life may be different here, but you, you're the same person as you were in the UK. You won't miraculously become more successful just because the sun's shining."

"Forget about living the dream," he said, almost sadly, "the reality's what counts, and it isn't easy living. If you don't have the money in the first place, you've got an uphill struggle to make it out here. I just wish someone would tell them the truth, instead of leading them on."

To contact The Newcomers Club, call Steve Hall on 659 173 108.

Story from Expatica.com

Monday, February 13, 2006

I think a lot of Brits go overseas for the SUN. Having lived in a fair few "sunny" places (Bahamas, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina), I can say it's not what most Brits expect, i.e., bloody unbearable several months of each year.

If you've seen the movie "Sexy Beast", it seems like what you are describing. This cockney couple had emigrated to Spain (I think) and he spent his days out by the pool slathered in oil. Not my idea of fun, in fact I haven't been around a pool in years now (and last time was because I had to, lifeguarding to make ends meet when I was a grad student in GA)

I am moving back to the UK next summer (2007). I want to get started working on my house this summer though. I am on my own and it can seem overwhelming. I have watched the House Doctor and will follow her instructions. It is stressful though when I think about everything I have to do. When I am on summer break this summer (I work in a school) I am going to start painting and clearing away stuff even though I have a full year to go, I don't want to leave it all until the last minute. It's hard to pack up a life of 15 years, but I would rather do it now when I'm 38 than 60! My parents have lived in Spain for 25 years and are moving back to the UK in September and they are in their 60's!

You have the right idea. I am looking forward to the liberating feeling of just chucking stuff out (actually, donating most of to to Habitat for Humanity). My goal is to go home with just one case of clothing too. Last time I went home ("for good" ) I had three huge bags of clothes etc. I held onto a stack of stuff "just in case", rather than send it with the shipment. Doh, we never learn.

Another thing you might want to consider if you are selling your house: Get your own inspection done a few months ahead so you can take care of any necessary repairs. I think most buyers are impressed by this kind of thing. Too many sellers don't do a lick to their houses as they want to make "maximum profit", but it's a false feeling. Better to sell your house easily because you took care of it. Even little things like re-caulking the ropy old bathtub caulk can make a difference. And anyone can do this stuff (even me!)

Where's me karma then you muppet!!!

Thanks for telling your story. It's so hard to decide what is the best thing to do. I know my family are happy here and have most of their needs met and maybe in England it won't be that way and this makes it so hard.