SecretGarden

sorry, I may have missed this....have you met in person yet? That's a prerequisite to filing the I-129F.

~SecretGarden

Noorah101

As long as you guys have seen each other within the past two years, and you have all the things you need to file the I-129F, you can file it tomorrow and start the K-1 process now. Yes, he uses the VWP (if he qualifies for it) to come visit you during the process. Just make sure he brings proof of his ties to his home country in case the POE officer asks, to prove he's not immigrating on his visit.

Rene

Michigal

Yes, we have seen each other on 5 occasions over the last two years. What kind of ties would have to provide? He does not own a home, and he is self-employed.

When he came through customs on his last visit (he just left on the 22nd of last month) they asked him if he was planning to get married... he thought it was kind of funny, but said no, as we had not intended to do so. He does not have to apply for anything when he comes here now, he just books his flight, checks in at the airport and scans his passport.

The POE officer... is that the airport customs?

Thanks,

Michigal

SecretGarden

POE= Port of entry.

I do apologize---I entered the thread toward the end and I have to admit I didn't read it thoroughly. Did anyone point you in this direction yet?

http://www.uscis.gov

do a search for fiance visa and you will get basic information.

~SecretGarden

Noorah101

Anything that would prove he intends to return. Lease or rental paperwork, jobs he has lined up for when he returns, whatever he can show to prove he has something to return to.

Rene

SecretGarden

Rene,
I'm probably slowing down the thread by asking questions that have already been answered. Would you like me to bow out?

~SG
(can you tell it's my summer vacation? LOL)

Noorah101

No, you're fine SG. Your input is valuable! We have 3 different newbies asking basically the same questions on this thread, so the answers will benefit all of them eventually. Keep up the good work!

Rene

SecretGarden

LOL! Was it my imagination or did one of them ask for "success" stories?

~SG
Cuz I got one.

olliewat

You're correct. Success stories and validation that coming on a tourist visa, marrying and staying was a good idea. THAT was shot down quickly!

SecretGarden

Ah. Perhaps my story isn't all that exciting (although it was all legal....)

The summary:

*started talking online spring 2001
*met in person december 2001 and many visits each way between then and Feb. 2004.
*I (the USC) filed I-129F in May 2003
*approved through NSC November 2003
*K-1 Visa interview Jan. 6 2004--approved, visa issued the same day in London (although they don't do that anymore)
*set to activate the visa Jan. 22, 2004 but UK fiance was in serious accident on Jan. 13, 2004
*arrival delayed until Feb. 6, 2004.
*married Feb. 13, 2004
*started occupational therapy for physical injuries
*filed for AOS, etc.
*successful AOS interview Jan. 6, 2005
*received PR card nine days later
*Filed I-751 Oct. 2006
*received email that card has been ordered, June 5, 2007

So, you can see that this has been quite a lengthy process; however, it can be done if you follow directions, complete your paperwork in an organized and timely fashion, and give the agency what they ask for.

One thing that would have been helpful for my UK husband and I to hear at the beginning is this: the duty of the US government agency is to keep people OUT until they can prove that they should be let IN. Give them what they want and you have a good chance of gaining the benefit you seek, which is a long and happy life here with your intended!


~SecretGarden

Michigal

Thank you all for the information. I've been looking for ages and going in circles. We went to Las Vegas the last time he was here, and everyone was so sure we would get married while we were there, but we really want to do it the right way...neither of us have ever been married and only want to do it once. I do wish they would allow for him to come over and live here longer, just to be sure it's going to work out before marraige, but I guess we can't have it all.

SecretGarden... congrats on everything working out so well for you. Four years is a long time to be sure... I'm losing my patience already and it's only been a year and a half for us. But, they say good things come to those who wait, so patience I must keep

Not to throw anything negative into this conversation, but in the back of my head there's a little nagging wench that wonders how often foreign men marry US women just to get into the country... anyone know the statistics on that? I don't believe this is the case for me... but I'm sure it happens and just a bit curiuos.

Have a wonderful evening everyone...

Michigal

ian-mstm

Okay... good to know!


Well...now we're getting somewhere! My undergraduate degree was in music... major was french horn, minor was classical guitar. I spent 10 years teaching high school instrumental music before transferring to adult education.

Well... in my book, anyone who studies music is on a righteous path. Perhaps I was a bit harsh in my earlier post... my bad.

Anyway, if you're looking for success stories... I'm one. I met my (now) wife online in 1997... we did the whole K-1 visa thing and AOS, and I've been a USC now for almost 3 years. Sheila and I are still happy!

Ian

Matthew Udall

I don't have any stats to offer you, but I can say that over the years I've read countless (no, I did not count the times) reports on groups like this where the U.S. spouse makes that claim once the marriage turns south.

I think an old saying has some merit here.... if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

Now on a practical matter, I suppose if one wanted to engage in some honest self-reflection, one might ponder one or more of the following questions:

1. Am I looking at marrying a foreign spouse because I can’t find anybody in the U.S. I love (or who has fallen in love with me)? If yes, that’s a red flag in my book but that is also just my own personal opinion.

2. Do I think my intended and I are “in the same league” (Yes, I know that is a hard one to answer)? And I really hate to offer this one…. but, “Is there a weight difference between myself and my intended of 100 pounds or more”. What I’m getting at is how “superficial”, or “how important is good looks” to your intended? Again, I know this can be a sensitive issue, and I don’t mean to offend “anyone” by offering these questions.

3. Am I OK with the knowledge that I might be on the hook financially for this person, perhaps for the remainder of my life in the event the marriage does not work out and we divorce (The obligations imposed under the I-864 are many and onerous, and should not be entered into lightly)?

4. Have I had some very fulfilling and long-term romantic relationships in the past (I think one has just as good of a shot at a happy marriage to a foreigner as they do marrying a USC, however there are additional potential problems that may be present due to cultural and other differences. Marrying someone from abroad does not guarantee success, but it also does not doom it to failure either).

5. Is this part of the equation…. “I don’t like the values I see in USCs, and my intended has values I just don’t see in USCs (some are surprised when their intended adopts U.S. values once they get here and if you are counting on your intended staying the same once he or she has arrived, there is the potential for disappointment).

Edited to add one more:

6. Do I think my intended and I are somewhat different in our likes, desires, things we like to do as far as entertainment or ways to pass the time? And if so, do I hold the belief that this is a “good” thing as it means we’ll have plenty of things to show each other and expand each other’s life?

The only reason I think of this one is that “I” felt that way when I gave marriage a try once. While I feel this is a nice sentiment, I now believe it is naive to think this is a “good thing” and I’ve found since that time that more similarities are better than less (Again, purely personal opinion).

Edited to add two more:

7. Do you spend too much time on the internet? Or, do you find that your on-line relationships are more numerous (or perhaps more important to you) than relationships you have with others in your face-to-face world? If so, another red flag in my book (but again, just a personal opinion).

The only reason I think of this one is due to conversations I’ve had with the woman I’ve been dating (and yes, it’s a bit of a long distance relationship…. Only 350 miles so I get to see her on a regular basis… but still a long distance relationship nonetheless). She’s a university professor in the Communications department, and she has very strong feelings about how some of her students are so internet addicted, and/or so lacking in interpersonal relationship skills that they have a difficult time in maintaining close interpersonal relationships.

8. Have your interactions with others on the internet ever caused problems with relationships in your face-to-face world? I believe internet addiction can be a very real thing for some, and if one finds they have had experiences with others on the net that have had a detrimental effect on their interpersonal relationships at home or with friends or ex-love interests, then this is a huge red flag in my opinion. How about your intended? What’s his or her story concerning this?

Matthew Udall

Trombone for me (Jazz all the way through College), then on to the Bass Guitar (which I still play).

Tracym

I certainly understand your feelings - marriage is a big deal. Even scarier with immigration mixed in for sure.

I think, if I were wondering about men marrying women to enter the U.S., I would look at what their prospects are otherwise - I mean if their situation would be ok without coming over. Plus, if you have both visited back and forth a few times, I suspect that might be more effort that someone would put in to deceive you.

Of course, you never know. You could never know about a guy here too though - there are users everywhere.

Visiting while the K-1 process is allowed, but POE officers would be more suspicious. I'm don't think he's on their radar during the I-129F process (the first 3 months theoretically), but perhaps more so once that petition has been approved and the actual K-1 applied for. So personally, I'd rather have him visit during the first part of the process rather than the second.

I am also a great fan of flying through Dublin or Shannon - they have a USCIS pre-clearance station. That means, he clears immigration in Dublin, and thus he's already "in" before he boards the flight over the ocean. Then, if anything should go wrong and he isn't admitted, he can just walk away and go home. If he's on the continent and isn't admitted, he could be detained until the next day when the next flight home probably is.

Are you in Michigan btw? I'm heading there, hopefully for the summer, next week.