What to do?

Old Dec 17th 2007, 9:06 pm
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Default What to do?

I moved to San Jose, CA, about 15 years ago with my husband, and have since had 2 children who currently attend private elementary school (both under 8 years old). When I came out here, I wasn't thinking about staying here, but now have a house with a pool, 2 kids, a great job (very flexible and with a good pay), and can afford to send my kids to private school.

I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.

If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?

I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?

Hope someone can give me some guidance here.

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Old Dec 17th 2007, 9:11 pm
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Confused1 View Post
I moved to San Jose, CA, about 15 years ago with my husband, and have since had 2 children who currently attend private elementary school (both under 8 years old). When I came out here, I wasn't thinking about staying here, but now have a house with a pool, 2 kids, a great job (very flexible and with a good pay), and can afford to send my kids to private school.

I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.

If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?

I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?

Hope someone can give me some guidance here.

Confused1
Lots of people stay here too.

Take a visit to the UK and see for yourself what you think maybe?
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Old Dec 17th 2007, 9:21 pm
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Default Re: What to do?

Welcome to BE

Do you have US citizenship? If you've thoughts of moving, that's the first thing you need to sort out for just in case. And as mentioned, have an extended holiday first to see if the UK is how you remembered it and all that.

No one can make the decision for you, it isn't easy and a lot will depend on your own personal situations
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Old Dec 17th 2007, 9:23 pm
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Confused1 View Post

I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
Yes, they'll be binge drinking by 18.
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Old Dec 17th 2007, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: What to do?

Why not let them find out for themselves when they're ready?
You provide for your children now don't you? You cover the basic needs for sure but you also engage with them and do things together?
Have they expressed and interest in going? As suggested do a vacation first.
What age are the children? If they're college level you might find there are exchange programs etc etc. Maybe even younger too.
When I was at Uni we had heaps of US (and other countries) students. Some doing a whole course others just a semester.

Also where would you move back to? Big city? London? Little village? They all have their issues and even the rural life is no idyll.

I don't think you're being selfish by not moving. I'm not a parent yet but I sure believe a happy parent begets a happy child so location becomes secondary.

Good Luck.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 2:30 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by anotherlimey View Post
Yes, they'll be binge drinking by 18.
They'll be slow developers then.

Most people I knew were binge drinking by 15/16 - still, it was the early 80's and it was called going out with your mates for a few beers
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 3:50 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Confused1 View Post
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture
I think people have a very romantic idea of British culture. That we all go to the theatre then discuss philosophy over a glass of red wine.

But there is also lots of binge-drinking, anti-social behaviour, football hooliganism etc. Jade Goody is a national celebrity.

Honestly I don't think Brits are any more or less "cultured" than Americans.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 4:41 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by polar_bear View Post
I think people have a very romantic idea of British culture. That we all go to the theatre then discuss philosophy over a glass of red wine.

But there is also lots of binge-drinking, anti-social behaviour, football hooliganism etc. Jade Goody is a national celebrity.

Honestly I don't think Brits are any more or less "cultured" than Americans.
Two of the cultural heroes from my home town are Francis 'Flossie' Forsyth and Patsy Kensit.

An interesting take on how some people see their home town.
http://knowhere.co.uk/4329.html

Find your own home town. http://knowhere.co.uk/contents.html

Last edited by surly; Dec 18th 2007 at 4:44 am.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 4:44 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Bring your children up to see through the materialism - where you are doesn't really make much odds.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 5:01 am
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Default Re: What to do?

UK had around 4 weeks of summer in 2007.

UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.

I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 5:31 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Dan_UK View Post
UK had around 4 weeks of summer in 2007.

UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.

I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
And do you think the US doesn't have these issues? (apart from the NHS which it doesn't have at all)
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 5:39 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Cape Blue View Post
And do you think the US doesn't have these issues? (apart from the NHS which it doesn't have at all)
I'd say that the biggest issues growing up in affluent Silicon Valley would be materialism and drugs. My best friend lives in Saratoga and grew up in San Jose, and if you can find the job and afford the house and do the commute.... it's a doddle.

SV is one area where you might sell a house and be able to take the proceeds and buy one in the UK (or at least make a hefty down payment). I hear you about the NHS.

Any way that OP can take off during summers and go for lengthy holidays in Europe?
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 6:51 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by snowbunny View Post
I'd say that the biggest issues growing up in affluent Silicon Valley would be materialism and drugs. My best friend lives in Saratoga and grew up in San Jose, and if you can find the job and afford the house and do the commute.... it's a doddle.

SV is one area where you might sell a house and be able to take the proceeds and buy one in the UK (or at least make a hefty down payment). I hear you about the NHS.

Any way that OP can take off during summers and go for lengthy holidays in Europe?
Actually San Jose has one of the lowest crime rates in the US. I'm not sure what you mean by materialism in Silicon Valley and how it's worse than anywhere else, other than a some people make a lot of money and can afford things. You think Europeans aren't materialistic with all those expensive shops in Paris, Rome and London. Brits love there gadgets, cell phone etc just like here.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 11:49 am
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by surly View Post
Actually San Jose has one of the lowest crime rates in the US. I'm not sure what you mean by materialism in Silicon Valley and how it's worse than anywhere else, other than a some people make a lot of money and can afford things. You think Europeans aren't materialistic with all those expensive shops in Paris, Rome and London. Brits love there gadgets, cell phone etc just like here.
You hit the nail on the head.
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Old Dec 18th 2007, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by Cape Blue View Post
They'll be slow developers then.

Most people I knew were binge drinking by 15/16 - still, it was the early 80's and it was called going out with your mates for a few beers
Now they have ambulances for drunk people...
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