What to do?
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 39
What to do?
I moved to San Jose, CA, about 15 years ago with my husband, and have since had 2 children who currently attend private elementary school (both under 8 years old). When I came out here, I wasn't thinking about staying here, but now have a house with a pool, 2 kids, a great job (very flexible and with a good pay), and can afford to send my kids to private school.
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?
I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?
Hope someone can give me some guidance here.
Confused1
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?
I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?
Hope someone can give me some guidance here.
Confused1
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: What to do?
I moved to San Jose, CA, about 15 years ago with my husband, and have since had 2 children who currently attend private elementary school (both under 8 years old). When I came out here, I wasn't thinking about staying here, but now have a house with a pool, 2 kids, a great job (very flexible and with a good pay), and can afford to send my kids to private school.
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?
I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?
Hope someone can give me some guidance here.
Confused1
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
If I move back to the UK, I am pretty sure I won't find a job as good as the one I have now, and pretty sure we won't be able to find a house like the one we have. But should I be putting weight on those things?
What questions should I be asking myself?
I want to do what is best for my children, but that seems to be opposite to what is right for me right now (and yes, I know that is selfish). If I move and things are not as easy for us as a family (financially and job-wise), will being in the UK make any difference?
Hope someone can give me some guidance here.
Confused1
Take a visit to the UK and see for yourself what you think maybe?
#3
Re: What to do?
Welcome to BE
Do you have US citizenship? If you've thoughts of moving, that's the first thing you need to sort out for just in case. And as mentioned, have an extended holiday first to see if the UK is how you remembered it and all that.
No one can make the decision for you, it isn't easy and a lot will depend on your own personal situations
Do you have US citizenship? If you've thoughts of moving, that's the first thing you need to sort out for just in case. And as mentioned, have an extended holiday first to see if the UK is how you remembered it and all that.
No one can make the decision for you, it isn't easy and a lot will depend on your own personal situations
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 14,577
Re: What to do?
I keep hearing how people are going back to the UK because there is more culture, less materialism, the education is better etc. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't move back to the UK so that my children to get experience all that. It makes me wonder if I am depriving them of things they just can't get here.
I am confused.
#5
Re: What to do?
Why not let them find out for themselves when they're ready?
You provide for your children now don't you? You cover the basic needs for sure but you also engage with them and do things together?
Have they expressed and interest in going? As suggested do a vacation first.
What age are the children? If they're college level you might find there are exchange programs etc etc. Maybe even younger too.
When I was at Uni we had heaps of US (and other countries) students. Some doing a whole course others just a semester.
Also where would you move back to? Big city? London? Little village? They all have their issues and even the rural life is no idyll.
I don't think you're being selfish by not moving. I'm not a parent yet but I sure believe a happy parent begets a happy child so location becomes secondary.
Good Luck.
You provide for your children now don't you? You cover the basic needs for sure but you also engage with them and do things together?
Have they expressed and interest in going? As suggested do a vacation first.
What age are the children? If they're college level you might find there are exchange programs etc etc. Maybe even younger too.
When I was at Uni we had heaps of US (and other countries) students. Some doing a whole course others just a semester.
Also where would you move back to? Big city? London? Little village? They all have their issues and even the rural life is no idyll.
I don't think you're being selfish by not moving. I'm not a parent yet but I sure believe a happy parent begets a happy child so location becomes secondary.
Good Luck.
#7
Re: What to do?
But there is also lots of binge-drinking, anti-social behaviour, football hooliganism etc. Jade Goody is a national celebrity.
Honestly I don't think Brits are any more or less "cultured" than Americans.
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,583
Re: What to do?
I think people have a very romantic idea of British culture. That we all go to the theatre then discuss philosophy over a glass of red wine.
But there is also lots of binge-drinking, anti-social behaviour, football hooliganism etc. Jade Goody is a national celebrity.
Honestly I don't think Brits are any more or less "cultured" than Americans.
But there is also lots of binge-drinking, anti-social behaviour, football hooliganism etc. Jade Goody is a national celebrity.
Honestly I don't think Brits are any more or less "cultured" than Americans.
An interesting take on how some people see their home town.
http://knowhere.co.uk/4329.html
Find your own home town. http://knowhere.co.uk/contents.html
Last edited by surly; Dec 18th 2007 at 4:44 am.
#9
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 250
Re: What to do?
Bring your children up to see through the materialism - where you are doesn't really make much odds.
#10
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15
Re: What to do?
UK had around 4 weeks of summer in 2007.
UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.
I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.
I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
#11
Re: What to do?
UK had around 4 weeks of summer in 2007.
UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.
I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
UK has a foul culture of binge drinking, excessive drug consumption, antisocial behaviour, rising crime, rising debt, rising interest rates, rising home repossessions, rising poverty, rising taxes, lowering minimum wage due to influx of cheap foreign labour, lowering standard of education, lowering standard of NHS, increasing risk of hurricanes, tornados and floods.
I'm sorry but if you think that San Jose, in the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the more affluent areas of California, plus a good and well paid job are less cultured and too materialistic, please, swap with me and move to UK anytime.
#12
Re: What to do?
SV is one area where you might sell a house and be able to take the proceeds and buy one in the UK (or at least make a hefty down payment). I hear you about the NHS.
Any way that OP can take off during summers and go for lengthy holidays in Europe?
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,583
Re: What to do?
I'd say that the biggest issues growing up in affluent Silicon Valley would be materialism and drugs. My best friend lives in Saratoga and grew up in San Jose, and if you can find the job and afford the house and do the commute.... it's a doddle.
SV is one area where you might sell a house and be able to take the proceeds and buy one in the UK (or at least make a hefty down payment). I hear you about the NHS.
Any way that OP can take off during summers and go for lengthy holidays in Europe?
SV is one area where you might sell a house and be able to take the proceeds and buy one in the UK (or at least make a hefty down payment). I hear you about the NHS.
Any way that OP can take off during summers and go for lengthy holidays in Europe?
#14
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15
Re: What to do?
Actually San Jose has one of the lowest crime rates in the US. I'm not sure what you mean by materialism in Silicon Valley and how it's worse than anywhere else, other than a some people make a lot of money and can afford things. You think Europeans aren't materialistic with all those expensive shops in Paris, Rome and London. Brits love there gadgets, cell phone etc just like here.