Very low - what should we do ?
May 12th 2011, 7:00 pm
#91
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Palo Alto being very British like with a mixture of high street shops and cafes, restaurants
And I love the post about analysing everything - YES - that's EXACTLY what we keep doing !!! We keep feeling like we're on the outside looking in.
Thanks for the comments - even if they are negative. They all help !
May 12th 2011, 7:12 pm
#92
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I dont want to be brainwashed into "loving America". I want to be able to retain my judgement about whats good or bad, and thats what being British means to me.
May 12th 2011, 8:57 pm
#93
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Well it is different. It's not European for a start. Just because there's (kind of) a common language, it doesn't mean it has more in common with the UK than other west European countries. To me, the differences are one of the appealing things about living abroad. I don't want it to feel like the UK; if I did I wouldn't have moved from it.
Last edited by Giantaxe; May 12th 2011 at 9:01 pm.
May 12th 2011, 9:11 pm
#94
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I'm American, lived in the USA all my life (but have travelled to a few places overseas...England, Egypt, Turkey). I don't know why, but although I'm totally American, and raised in a very American household, I always found OTHER cultures and people more interesting than my own. So I became involved in other cultures here in the USA, mostly Middle Eastern since I felt drawn to that culture for some reason. Where I live (Phoenix) there are always tons of cultural things to do, you just have to find the link to them. I spend a lot of time doing activities with my Turkish friends - they are a very active community here. Also a very large Persian population here with lots of organized events.
I'm just thinking if the typical American lifestyle and such doesn't interest you (as it doesn't really interest me), look into other cultures and their events, once you meet someone who can bring you to an event, you will suddenly have a ton of opportunities to be part of their community and do lots of really interesting, different things. Just an idea.
As an American, my typical week goes something like this:
- Work 40 hours a week (if you include driving time, comes to about 48 hours a week).
- Take a language class (Turkish) twice a week after work.
- Tutor a language (Persian) one night a week after work.
- Take an ice skating class one morning a week before work.
- Go to ice skating practice at my leisure (usually once or twice a week).
- Get together for a Turkish women's discussion group once a week after work.
Those are my must-do's. Other than that, I have grocery shopping, cooking at home, the usual housecleaning, running errands on the weekends, plus fun things like having breakfast or lunch or dinner with friends, going to the cinema, going to any special cultural event that's being offered at the time, going to Turkish cooking class twice a month, going out of town to visit friends or family, day trips to lakes and such (don't do that TOO often, but still an option). My days are so busy I find I have to schedule things a month in advance.
As you can see, even without a child and a 24/7 husband, my time is fully booked and I'm never bored. That's MY typical day-to-day life. I'm sure you can find some activities you're interested in to fill up your time, too.
Rene
I'm just thinking if the typical American lifestyle and such doesn't interest you (as it doesn't really interest me), look into other cultures and their events, once you meet someone who can bring you to an event, you will suddenly have a ton of opportunities to be part of their community and do lots of really interesting, different things. Just an idea.
As an American, my typical week goes something like this:
- Work 40 hours a week (if you include driving time, comes to about 48 hours a week).
- Take a language class (Turkish) twice a week after work.
- Tutor a language (Persian) one night a week after work.
- Take an ice skating class one morning a week before work.
- Go to ice skating practice at my leisure (usually once or twice a week).
- Get together for a Turkish women's discussion group once a week after work.
Those are my must-do's. Other than that, I have grocery shopping, cooking at home, the usual housecleaning, running errands on the weekends, plus fun things like having breakfast or lunch or dinner with friends, going to the cinema, going to any special cultural event that's being offered at the time, going to Turkish cooking class twice a month, going out of town to visit friends or family, day trips to lakes and such (don't do that TOO often, but still an option). My days are so busy I find I have to schedule things a month in advance.
As you can see, even without a child and a 24/7 husband, my time is fully booked and I'm never bored. That's MY typical day-to-day life. I'm sure you can find some activities you're interested in to fill up your time, too.
Rene
Last edited by Noorah101; May 12th 2011 at 9:43 pm. Reason: typo
May 12th 2011, 9:31 pm
#95
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Some really good points there, Rene.
May 13th 2011, 2:57 am
#96
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Thank you for the replies - they are all VERY helpful, because you've all been through it.
Some specifics....
1) Not really the "out-doors" type, but we do enjoy a day at the coast. Now that IS hard to beat here, but it has the constant feeling of being "on the outside, looking in" rather than actually living in the place. Maybe that does just take time ?
The same is true in SF - yes, it's a nice place to visit, but it's no different from living in the UK and going to London for a day, or Brighton. It's more about the day-to-day rather than the extra-ordinary that is eluding us at the moment.
2) I'm a rather left-wing atheist. I thought I would fit-in well with the SF type, but I can see I was living in a bygone 1960s era ! Joining a church of any religion is probably out (not that I will stop anyone else from their particular beliefs). I just feel out-of-place in my views, opinions, etc, etc. I never answer back (that would be rude and disrespectful), but coming here makes you realise how much Europe has become secular over the last few years compared to the US. Or maybe the US has lurched to the right and religion ? It all feels a bit odd !
3) Cub Scouts is just plain dis-organised. In the UK, most groups have their own hall/meeting place, their own equipment, a fully planned set of activities, and treat it more as fun than here. The times we've sat down after Cubs and said "For f***'s sake why don't they get organised !!!!" We've seen emails coming out the day before an event ! Yes - it may yet come to jumping in and taking over, but it appears to be us that are out of step, so keen not to hop in with my size 9s.
4) Weeze mentioned about after school clubs - round here, probably due to the pushy tech-company types, they are all related to furthering education. Having said that, we are looking into football (soccer) clubs - possibly in the Autumn. I will check out meetup.com - new one on me. Thanks.
5) Jackattack - you make some interesting comments. I think your kids are much younger than ours, and to some extent, when you have young kids they "tag along" with you. Yes, we've done the Roaring Camp (it's far too lame for a nearly 10 year old now); even the seaside gets a bit passe for your average street-wise 10 year old nowadays. We're not into theme parks but would go to Raging Waters as a special treat. Not saying that having Preschoolers is easy (I KNOW it's not !) but there does seem to be a lack of things that are FUN (i.e. not soccer/baseball/basketball leagues or education improvement) to do at this age. Or maybe it's my age..... My son is spending over an hour a day doing homework - he had 40 minutes a week in the UK. He is a very bright kid and gets good results, so he is not struggling, but it is stopping him from being a boy. And his classmates are all locked in every day doing the same !
But you say Yes - but we like to plan ahead. In fact, we have to to budget ! People here seem to do things very much at the last minute, and it's just not in our mindset - maybe time to re-think our previously fast-paced SE England lifestyle ?
I really do appreciate the answers - we're determined to make a go of this for however long we're going to be here. I would not put anyone off moving to a foreign land - having visited a lot of Europe over the last 20+ years for work/leisure, it is just rather unnerving as to how a country that on the outside looks more like the UK than other parts of Europe feel so very alien when you are living there....
Keep those ideas coming in - I'm feeling better already. Thanks
David
Some specifics....
1) Not really the "out-doors" type, but we do enjoy a day at the coast. Now that IS hard to beat here, but it has the constant feeling of being "on the outside, looking in" rather than actually living in the place. Maybe that does just take time ?
The same is true in SF - yes, it's a nice place to visit, but it's no different from living in the UK and going to London for a day, or Brighton. It's more about the day-to-day rather than the extra-ordinary that is eluding us at the moment.
2) I'm a rather left-wing atheist. I thought I would fit-in well with the SF type, but I can see I was living in a bygone 1960s era ! Joining a church of any religion is probably out (not that I will stop anyone else from their particular beliefs). I just feel out-of-place in my views, opinions, etc, etc. I never answer back (that would be rude and disrespectful), but coming here makes you realise how much Europe has become secular over the last few years compared to the US. Or maybe the US has lurched to the right and religion ? It all feels a bit odd !
3) Cub Scouts is just plain dis-organised. In the UK, most groups have their own hall/meeting place, their own equipment, a fully planned set of activities, and treat it more as fun than here. The times we've sat down after Cubs and said "For f***'s sake why don't they get organised !!!!" We've seen emails coming out the day before an event ! Yes - it may yet come to jumping in and taking over, but it appears to be us that are out of step, so keen not to hop in with my size 9s.
4) Weeze mentioned about after school clubs - round here, probably due to the pushy tech-company types, they are all related to furthering education. Having said that, we are looking into football (soccer) clubs - possibly in the Autumn. I will check out meetup.com - new one on me. Thanks.
5) Jackattack - you make some interesting comments. I think your kids are much younger than ours, and to some extent, when you have young kids they "tag along" with you. Yes, we've done the Roaring Camp (it's far too lame for a nearly 10 year old now); even the seaside gets a bit passe for your average street-wise 10 year old nowadays. We're not into theme parks but would go to Raging Waters as a special treat. Not saying that having Preschoolers is easy (I KNOW it's not !) but there does seem to be a lack of things that are FUN (i.e. not soccer/baseball/basketball leagues or education improvement) to do at this age. Or maybe it's my age..... My son is spending over an hour a day doing homework - he had 40 minutes a week in the UK. He is a very bright kid and gets good results, so he is not struggling, but it is stopping him from being a boy. And his classmates are all locked in every day doing the same !
But you say Yes - but we like to plan ahead. In fact, we have to to budget ! People here seem to do things very much at the last minute, and it's just not in our mindset - maybe time to re-think our previously fast-paced SE England lifestyle ?
I really do appreciate the answers - we're determined to make a go of this for however long we're going to be here. I would not put anyone off moving to a foreign land - having visited a lot of Europe over the last 20+ years for work/leisure, it is just rather unnerving as to how a country that on the outside looks more like the UK than other parts of Europe feel so very alien when you are living there....
Keep those ideas coming in - I'm feeling better already. Thanks
David
May 13th 2011, 6:59 pm
#97
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I'm a born and bred USC (like Rene), with a Brit hubby. After reading the first post about how you dislike local news, David, I'm curious what you (or other Brits) expect from a local news channel? There is pretty much a clear delineation between what a local news channel will report on, versus a national channel (i.e. CNN, MSNBC, etc). The local news is primarily focused on local news and events. People in SF want to know what's going on in local politics, not what's going on in Texas politics.
I know when I lived in Glasgow, I remember thinking it very odd that the news would revolved around national events, or something that happened in London would be a focus. Why would the peeps in Glasgow care about London happenings, when there are local events that are of more direct importance to the locals? Is this perhaps due to just not enough local stuff going on worth reporting on? Or I wonder if this difference is due to geographical size of both countries?
At the 'global'/national news level, I do think that leaves much to be desired too. While CNN, etc talk about global/nat'l events, I do feel that there is too much of an entertainment factor when they report, instead of being just about the facts. Its like they have to give some kind of Hollywood glamorization, or give too many opinions, instead of being more factual. I think the invention of 24/7/365 news channels has actually been detrimental to news reporting as the station has to fill every minute with commentators that really do little to enhance our knowledge of developing situations.
What's so dire about the radio? Is it the selection of music you don't like or talk shows? I always imagined CA would have great stations since there are so many music studios out that way.
I wish I could help with the rest, but we don't have children, and I'm not familiar with CA activities to help out there. I will say that what you are experiencing does seem very similar to other ex-pats we've seen on here over the years. You've received lots of good advice and I hope you are able to use some of it to make your stay here a bit happier.
I know when I lived in Glasgow, I remember thinking it very odd that the news would revolved around national events, or something that happened in London would be a focus. Why would the peeps in Glasgow care about London happenings, when there are local events that are of more direct importance to the locals? Is this perhaps due to just not enough local stuff going on worth reporting on? Or I wonder if this difference is due to geographical size of both countries?
At the 'global'/national news level, I do think that leaves much to be desired too. While CNN, etc talk about global/nat'l events, I do feel that there is too much of an entertainment factor when they report, instead of being just about the facts. Its like they have to give some kind of Hollywood glamorization, or give too many opinions, instead of being more factual. I think the invention of 24/7/365 news channels has actually been detrimental to news reporting as the station has to fill every minute with commentators that really do little to enhance our knowledge of developing situations.
What's so dire about the radio? Is it the selection of music you don't like or talk shows? I always imagined CA would have great stations since there are so many music studios out that way.
I wish I could help with the rest, but we don't have children, and I'm not familiar with CA activities to help out there. I will say that what you are experiencing does seem very similar to other ex-pats we've seen on here over the years. You've received lots of good advice and I hope you are able to use some of it to make your stay here a bit happier.
Last edited by Bluegrass Lass; May 13th 2011 at 7:04 pm.
May 13th 2011, 7:00 pm
#98
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
cub scouts here is different to the UK
Yes - it is. And it is very different from Cub Scouts in other countries as well.
Having parents involved is wrong in my opinion - the whole benefit of something like Scouts is to give the children a chance to become independent in a controlled and positive manner, to broaden their horizon and start to learn that their parents aren't the only source of knowledge.
As difficult as it is for the parent to do, you have to give your kids a chance to make their own way. Cubs here does not promote that.
I have no issue with volunteering to help out - I do on a very regular basis and have done in the UK as well - but HAVING to be with your charge is stifling for the child and the parent.
Here they can't even have an overnight camp without a parent being present. How does that help an 8, 9 or 10 year learn independence and responsibility ?
I'm fully prepared to admit that I may need to take a broader view of some aspects of American life and adapt, but this is one where I feel more justified !!!
May 13th 2011, 7:48 pm
#99
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
.
Yes - it is. And it is very different from Cub Scouts in other countries as well.
Having parents involved is wrong in my opinion - the whole benefit of something like Scouts is to give the children a chance to become independent in a controlled and positive manner, to broaden their horizon and start to learn that their parents aren't the only source of knowledge.
As difficult as it is for the parent to do, you have to give your kids a chance to make their own way. Cubs here does not promote that.
I have no issue with volunteering to help out - I do on a very regular basis and have done in the UK as well - but HAVING to be with your charge is stifling for the child and the parent.
Here they can't even have an overnight camp without a parent being present. How does that help an 8, 9 or 10 year learn independence and responsibility ?
I'm fully prepared to admit that I may need to take a broader view of some aspects of American life and adapt, but this is one where I feel more justified !!!
Yes - it is. And it is very different from Cub Scouts in other countries as well.
Having parents involved is wrong in my opinion - the whole benefit of something like Scouts is to give the children a chance to become independent in a controlled and positive manner, to broaden their horizon and start to learn that their parents aren't the only source of knowledge.
As difficult as it is for the parent to do, you have to give your kids a chance to make their own way. Cubs here does not promote that.
I have no issue with volunteering to help out - I do on a very regular basis and have done in the UK as well - but HAVING to be with your charge is stifling for the child and the parent.
Here they can't even have an overnight camp without a parent being present. How does that help an 8, 9 or 10 year learn independence and responsibility ?
I'm fully prepared to admit that I may need to take a broader view of some aspects of American life and adapt, but this is one where I feel more justified !!!
I am sorry you are having trouble settling though. I too found it very difficult at the beginning, but the more I got out and about and met other people, and found new hobbies and interests the better I felt.
Recently I came to an important time in my life where I became older than my mum (she died when she was 43) and I realised that life is fleeting and we need to soak up every minute of it and to try new things. So two years ago I started studying for a degree, and last year I started horse riding lessons. Two small things to many, but to me they had always been at the back of mind to do, so I decided that I shouldn't keep saying "if" and "when" and "one-day" because you never know what is around the corner. Anyway all this to say I hope that you start feeling better soon about you life in the US. My advice is not to fight the differences but to embrace them
May 13th 2011, 7:49 pm
#100
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Thing is, up in Maine, most of the stories were pre-recorded during the day and then repeated, but in MA, they're always live...which is a bit pointless, talking about an accident that happened 5am when it's the 11pm news and it's all been cleared up, especially when in some shit hole being shat on by a snow storm
The radio is pretty dire too, just naff clearwater rubbish on a loop, with loads of adverts. Clear water has pretty much killed the radio in the US...and can't be arsed with satellite.
Never really been that big into the radio anyway, so it's not just the US
May 13th 2011, 7:56 pm
#101
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Maybe that's just the Cub Scout troop you are with?
1) They can't get insurance at a reasonable cost unless parents are present (up to Webelos)
2) There are stringent Child Protection checks which they can't afford to have done.
3) Kids would need full medicals every year if they were to stay away for more than 48 hours which parents would have to fund
4) They struggle to find meeting places - she was amazed that so many UK Cub/Scout groups have their own meeting halls and facilities such as tents/burners, etc.
5) Because the "leaders" are parents and move on with the boys, there is little consistency of leadership.
She said they are recognised problems that they keep talking about, but no-one knows what to do...
May 13th 2011, 8:15 pm
#102
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I'm a born and bred USC (like Rene), with a Brit hubby. After reading the first post about how you dislike local news, David, I'm curious what you (or other Brits) expect from a local news channel? There is pretty much a clear delineation between what a local news channel will report on, versus a national channel (i.e. CNN, MSNBC, etc). The local news is primarily focused on local news and events. People in SF want to know what's going on in local politics, not what's going on in Texas politics.
I know when I lived in Glasgow, I remember thinking it very odd that the news would revolved around national events, or something that happened in London would be a focus. Why would the peeps in Glasgow care about London happenings, when there are local events that are of more direct importance to the locals? Is this perhaps due to just not enough local stuff going on worth reporting on? Or I wonder if this difference is due to geographical size of both countries?
At the 'global'/national news level, I do think that leaves much to be desired too. While CNN, etc talk about global/nat'l events, I do feel that there is too much of an entertainment factor when they report, instead of being just about the facts. Its like they have to give some kind of Hollywood glamorization, or give too many opinions, instead of being more factual. I think the invention of 24/7/365 news channels has actually been detrimental to news reporting as the station has to fill every minute with commentators that really do little to enhance our knowledge of developing situations.
What's so dire about the radio? Is it the selection of music you don't like or talk shows? I always imagined CA would have great stations since there are so many music studios out that way.
I wish I could help with the rest, but we don't have children, and I'm not familiar with CA activities to help out there. I will say that what you are experiencing does seem very similar to other ex-pats we've seen on here over the years. You've received lots of good advice and I hope you are able to use some of it to make your stay here a bit happier.
I know when I lived in Glasgow, I remember thinking it very odd that the news would revolved around national events, or something that happened in London would be a focus. Why would the peeps in Glasgow care about London happenings, when there are local events that are of more direct importance to the locals? Is this perhaps due to just not enough local stuff going on worth reporting on? Or I wonder if this difference is due to geographical size of both countries?
At the 'global'/national news level, I do think that leaves much to be desired too. While CNN, etc talk about global/nat'l events, I do feel that there is too much of an entertainment factor when they report, instead of being just about the facts. Its like they have to give some kind of Hollywood glamorization, or give too many opinions, instead of being more factual. I think the invention of 24/7/365 news channels has actually been detrimental to news reporting as the station has to fill every minute with commentators that really do little to enhance our knowledge of developing situations.
What's so dire about the radio? Is it the selection of music you don't like or talk shows? I always imagined CA would have great stations since there are so many music studios out that way.
I wish I could help with the rest, but we don't have children, and I'm not familiar with CA activities to help out there. I will say that what you are experiencing does seem very similar to other ex-pats we've seen on here over the years. You've received lots of good advice and I hope you are able to use some of it to make your stay here a bit happier.
Think I'd lived in Arizona a year or so before I realised we had a governor. The only reason the local news managed to feature her was that she'd gone into hospital for a facelift. One can only assume she never did anything that you would expect a governor to do.....because it was certainly never reported on the local affiliates.
May 13th 2011, 8:25 pm
#103
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
The local US news is focused on advertising business alternated with youtube-type material.
Think I'd lived in Arizona a year or so before I realised we had a governor. The only reason the local news managed to feature her was that she'd gone into hospital for a facelift. One can only assume she never did anything that you would expect a governor to do.....because it was certainly never reported on the local affiliates.
Think I'd lived in Arizona a year or so before I realised we had a governor. The only reason the local news managed to feature her was that she'd gone into hospital for a facelift. One can only assume she never did anything that you would expect a governor to do.....because it was certainly never reported on the local affiliates.
Ours alternates shootings with items on cute dogs. Sometimes they send a reporter with big hair out to knock on someone's door and say, "They didn't want to talk to us."
They did get very animated when Taco Bell came in for criticism.
May 13th 2011, 8:37 pm
#104
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
I prefer the local news, although i have 4 or 5 channels of it to pick from. All national news is either awful or just not on at a time when I watch.
Local radio is good here, but Seattle has always been a more music-related city. Several classic rock stations, some more modern, and even a couple of chart mix. A bit different from being able to pick up five local commercial stations in the UK that all played exactly the same songs (it was not a "Better music mix" as they would repeat constantly on each of them). The music scene isn't all that great right now anyway.
Local radio is good here, but Seattle has always been a more music-related city. Several classic rock stations, some more modern, and even a couple of chart mix. A bit different from being able to pick up five local commercial stations in the UK that all played exactly the same songs (it was not a "Better music mix" as they would repeat constantly on each of them). The music scene isn't all that great right now anyway.
May 13th 2011, 10:00 pm
#105
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Re: Very low - what should we do ?
Local TV news is fine, but EVERYTHING is local. Even after the Japanese earthquake, the "angle" on the story was to have a local reporter stand outside SFO and interview returning "locals."
Have 5/10 minutes of local news, but concentrate on national/international news that affects the world you live in. Offer some analysis, interview some politicians from both sides, press them for answers, try and give a balanced, independent viewpoint. Realise that there is stuff going on outside the service area of the TV station.
And don't make it dry-as-dust like the PBS News Hours - that is great if you have time to watch and digest (I do regularly), but make it a broad appealing news cast.
Radio - I'm not really talking about music radio as there is plenty of choice. I'm talking more about the "national" news/info/arts/documentary station. Examples would be BBC Radio 4, ABC Radio National, France Inter, RTE Radio 1, etc. In other words, News, Documentary, Arts, Debate, Drama, Comedy, Opinions.
NPR is the closet I've found, but again, it's scope is very limited. I've yet to hear any national politician interviewed as part of Morning Edit manner. This is national radio - why isn't the President being called to account, other viewpoints sought and debated ? I'm amazed at how little politicians are interviewed, and when they are, it seems to be all highly reverential....
Have 5/10 minutes of local news, but concentrate on national/international news that affects the world you live in. Offer some analysis, interview some politicians from both sides, press them for answers, try and give a balanced, independent viewpoint. Realise that there is stuff going on outside the service area of the TV station.
And don't make it dry-as-dust like the PBS News Hours - that is great if you have time to watch and digest (I do regularly), but make it a broad appealing news cast.
Radio - I'm not really talking about music radio as there is plenty of choice. I'm talking more about the "national" news/info/arts/documentary station. Examples would be BBC Radio 4, ABC Radio National, France Inter, RTE Radio 1, etc. In other words, News, Documentary, Arts, Debate, Drama, Comedy, Opinions.
NPR is the closet I've found, but again, it's scope is very limited. I've yet to hear any national politician interviewed as part of Morning Edit manner. This is national radio - why isn't the President being called to account, other viewpoints sought and debated ? I'm amazed at how little politicians are interviewed, and when they are, it seems to be all highly reverential....