Speedwell

I'm adding my husband to my insurance that I get through work. The amount I pay each month will go up. But when my husband begins working, he will probably get insurance coverage through his job. UK citizens who are employed by a US company also get their health insurance through their jobs.

Going to a doctor requires that you know which doctors are in your insurance network. Then you call to see if they are accepting new patients, and whether they still are in-network on your insurance policy. Then once you are a patient, you just call for an appointment. If you have to go to the hospital, then you also choose an in-network hospital and make sure the surgeon who operates on you is also in-network. Emergencies are special cases. You nearly always pay a fraction of the bill that the insurance does not cover. In most cases you first pay an initial amount (deductible) then either a set amount (co-pay) or percentage. It's a little more complicated than that, but that's the gist of it.

Pulaski

Anything you do should be with the aim of making you more EMPLOYABLE, not "eligible", being married is entirely sufficient for a marriage visa. Your husband has to be able to prove that he can support you, and aside from the medical and criminal background check, that's about all you need to be eligible for a marriage visa.

RICH

I'll begin by saying that I am since divorced, but on meeting my former wife-to be, we spent a year or so with her visiting UK on business for a week or 2 every 3 months. Once that dried up, I took a couple of weeks vacation to stay with her, for us both to see if we wanted to be together. It was extremely hard to have to decide to leave UK and make a life in UK, as it was hard to say that the relationship had to end otherwise. I took the plunge, we went the K1 route and never looked back.

The fact my marriage only survived 4 years is beside the point. We had the adventure, I am still having it.

Your point about a sick mother is poignant, in that mine just passed away. It is probably the hardest thing about being far away. On the other hand it is an inevitable thing, wherever you are.

penguinsix

This is the US expats in the UK messageboard. Once you sign up for an account, you can get access to this forum:

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=68.0

It's the homesickness forum for US expats who have moved to the UK. I recommend reading it because some of what they experience is a) what your partner would experience moving to the UK and/or b) what you would experience moving to the US.

There really isn't a one size fits all answer to this question. It's something all expats grapple with and when it causes a serious problem, you can get in a "take it or leave it" situation with a partner because of location. Many folks rush into an expat relationship with a "love will conquer all" but reading the homesickness (or even the Moving Back to the UK forum on this site) will help you prepare for some of the more difficult bits you might face.

As someone else mentioned, not having a degree in the US is kind of a black mark from the start. Sure you can find jobs, but you would probably be surprised how many positions have as the first filter throwing out all applications that aren't university graduates. Even things that don't require a university education often have this as a requirement, especially if you are coming to the market without any US-based experience or highly specialized skills.

BubbleChog

I married my husband in 2011 so didn't "bite the bullet" that recently but me and my TAS (TransAtlantic Sweetie) considered him moving to the UK on a company transfer to check out if we would "work" before we got married. He was offered a transfer to London but when we looked at the numbers it was a pain in the bum. I would have to move from where I was based in Lancaster back to London. Both of us would have to work and commute. Here in Atlanta his salary is high enough and the cost of living low enough that I could be a housewife and eventually a stay at home mum. So that was what made the decision for us in the end.

Did we get married faster than we would have done if he'd been a Same Town Sweetie? probably. But we knew we wanted to be together and there's no "suck it and see" visa. Of course there's loads that can go wrong but those things can happen in the UK too - especially if you would be moving away from your support network to another part of the country to be together. In the end I think you have to figure out exactly what it is you want long term and which of the 2 countries can give you the better circumstances to make it happen.

I would certainly recommend trying to get more than a week/fortnight at a time or go over for a week and not have him take the time off work. Just spend your evenings/weekends together.