Originally Posted by Elvira

It seems to me that you need counselling as a matter of urgency.

Originally Posted by TouristTrap

Look dear. Why don't you and hubby set a definitive date by which you would like to return?

Why not say - we're going for 2 or 3 years, make some moolah, and then return to the UK, or move onto a Latin American posting for a couple more years. If you do it that way, you'll at least have a date to look forward to returning, and it won't seem that overwhelming. Before you know it, time has passed and you'll be on your way back to the mud island.

It is what I tell the dingo people.

Originally Posted by dakota44

There may be SOME merit to that idea...but...it actually encourages someone to not take the opportunity to know their new home well enough. After all, "why bother, we're leaving soon anyway." I prefer the "this is now my home" attitude, and find ways to make the most of it.

Originally Posted by dakota44

There may be SOME merit to that idea...but...it actually encourages someone to not take the opportunity to know their new home well enough. After all, "why bother, we're leaving soon anyway." I prefer the "this is now my home" attitude, and find ways to make the most of it.

Originally Posted by goldcrown

Tiny college (Keble College) at Oxford. Medieval and Renaissance Literature was my focus.

Originally Posted by TouristTrap

We have to remember that the OP is a USC who spent 30+ years of her life here so she knows what it is about, plus, they are planning on returning to the UK.

It isn't like someone who has never lived here and is moving here on a permanent basis.

Having a date in mind to look forward to, will actually help in that they will relax and enjoy the time they have here, knowing that it isn't going to be forever.

Originally Posted by TouristTrap

We have to remember that the OP is a USC who spent 30+ years of her life here so she knows what it is about, plus, they are planning on returning to the UK.

It isn't like someone who has never lived here and is moving here on a permanent basis.

Having a date in mind to look forward to, will actually help in that they will relax and enjoy the time they have here, knowing that it isn't going to be forever.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

We had a 12/24 month date in mind when we came here 11 years ago.

Originally Posted by DollyLlama

We thought we would only be here for maybe 3 years.....that was in 1996!

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

...why would I want her to be different to the other children? Maybe you are looking for excuses not to move to the US...I don't mean that in a nasty way.

Originally Posted by goldcrown

Thanks for any advice on dealing with schools and Pledge. I'm overwhelmed by the choice of schooling in the US, it wasn't like this when I went to school. Magnet, Charter, public, private, IB, language immersion, and at least 10 elementary schools per district to research. Here in England, we just go to the school up the road and thankfully, it is fantastic. Nothing like a walk to school and loving everything about it.

Originally Posted by goldcrown

No, I think I hear you in the way you mean it. I would hope that I would not let my bias against the U.S. pledge translate into an excuse not to move to the States. Certainly there are much better reasons to avoid the U.S.!

I attended private (Christian) school when I grew up in the States until high school, so I never recited the pledge. When the 'hand over heart' stuff happened at baseball games or whatever, I didn't participate. I felt like boycotting it, to be honest. As inconsequential as that sort of protest is. Yes, I had a bad attitude before I moved to England. And my 'being negative' seemed to arouse great fear in my immediate family. One is nothing if not 'positive' in America!

I digress.

Some of the benefits to me in living in the U.S.:

hyper convenience - from the big fridge which can hold a month's meals, to the trolley without four moving wheels, to the lightening speed washer and dryer...

more stuff (due to larger salary, lower cost of living, great tax breaks and our GBP brought over in a fab exchange rate)

home ownership (though I do not want this to be used against me i.e. 'we'll have to sell at a loss!' come time to move on)

moving to an area of U.S. filled with transplants (some calling it 'Little New Jersey' and whatnot)

That's all I can think of at the mo.

I will have a think about cultivating a more curious, anticipatory attitude, based on this thread. I don't want to bring on more suffering for me. And I have a brave face I must put on to keep the children from freaking out.

Originally Posted by goldcrown

I'm USC, DH is Brit and we're currently living in the SouthEast (of England). We are moving to Charlotte, NC in a month.

I am very unhappy about moving (lived in UK for five years). I adore England culturally. I know I romanticise England but I don't care. I love living here. Too many reasons to mention, plus you all know why it's grand here.

Okay, back to my question. I'm very upset about putting my kids (eldest is 5) into school. Reception has been fab for him. I'm a product of US education and I look at my peers in England and am quite confident my US education was crap. I sensed this a decade ago when I studied abroad (Oxford) and felt like my US uni had failed me miserably...I knew nothing of the subject I was studying in the exchange programme. It was very embarrassing and I ended up travelling Europe to avoid my tutors.

Is the Pledge something kids absolutely have to do in school in the States? I do not want to opt out my kids if that will make them the local freak. They will have enough to deal with in adjusting (they all sound completely English, they know nothing of American terms for things, etc). But this pledging, it really bothers me.

I'm also seeing that quite a few school districts in NC (and SC, for that matter, since so many live in SC but work in Charlotte) allow paddling of students. Does anyone have experience with your kids in such a district? Did you sign a waiver or ??

Between NASCAR, 'City of Churches' (Charlotte), Billy Graham Parkway, and the suburban soccer mom nightmare that seems to be Charlotte and
surrounding counties, I'm not feeling very confident in my mental health post relocation. DH can make twice what he can make in the UK, and with tax deduction likes mortage interest and self employment stuff, we can keep more (saving for retirement). These are things I cannot change about England, as much as I wish I could. But I will miss the UK terribly, horribly, desperately.

Thanks for any advice on dealing with schools and Pledge. I'm overwhelmed by the choice of schooling in the US, it wasn't like this when I went to school. Magnet, Charter, public, private, IB, language immersion, and at least 10 elementary schools per district to research. Here in England, we just go to the school up the road and thankfully, it is fantastic. Nothing like a walk to school and loving everything about it.