A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
Aug 18th 2008, 11:59 pm
#76
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 2,043
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
There are some public parks in San Francisco which have designated play areas for children which have signs indicating that adults who are not accompanying children are not allowed.
I think that this is just a local ordinance, not a state wide thing.
Anyway it always kind of irritated me because of the presumption that any unaccompanied adult was automatically up to no good, but this incident certainly indicates that there might be a real need for it.
I think that this is just a local ordinance, not a state wide thing.
Anyway it always kind of irritated me because of the presumption that any unaccompanied adult was automatically up to no good, but this incident certainly indicates that there might be a real need for it.
To answer a few questions people have asked.
The pool was in one of the Boston public parks, and I have spoken to someone from the Parks Dept who has informed the Park Rangers and told me that this is not the kind of behaviour that is tolerated there.
If I were to post his photo anywhere it would be with exact details of what he did, but not with warnings that he might be a paedophile or anything else not completely factual. It would include a warning to other parents that if they don't want someone videoing their child without their permission, and refusing to tell them what they plan to do with the video, then they should be aware that this guy is around.
I have emailed some parents lists in Maine and asked them to spread the word to anyone they know in Boston - again it included exact details of what happened, no unfounded assumptions.
I will give copies of the photo to anyone who asks for one but I'm not sure I'll post it anywhere.
No my daughter isn't hot - she's 7. But she is very tall, very pretty, and she photographs well. I can imagine some might think she's hot, which makes me feel a bit sick.
We're now back in Maine from Boston, and I've uploaded the photo to my laptop (didn't have the cable with me in Boston, and just wanted to get on with the last two days of MIL's holiday with us). I feel a bit sick having a photo of him on the PC. The photo shows the guy with the camera to his face, filming my husband who at that moment is asking him to switch off his camera.
I will look at the Megan's Law databases - I tried to look while I was there but it appears that in Boston you have to fill in a form to ask for information.
I'm coping fine, thank you. I didn't sleep well last night - feeling frustrated and angry with both the guy doing the videoing, and myself for not calling the police straight away and getting witnesses to give their names and numbers. But we had a great weekend away apart from this incident. I just want to do what I can to stop it happening to other families, then I will try to just forget about it.
My daughter is a very intelligent and observant 7 year old, and wanted to know why her parents were shouting at a man with a camera. We've told her that he had been taking videos of her without asking us, and that we were cross with him, but that she's not to worry about it. I know he can't hurt her, but on the other hand I didn't let her out of my sight all day. It's easy to know you should be more logical, and usually I don't worry about paedos being everywhere blah blah, but right now I feel a bit undermined in my ability to protect my children. I know worse things happen to them, and now I'm that bit more aware that I can't always stop it from happening.
To the person who said I should be more careful and proactive in future: do you have some more concrete suggestions? Shall we stop bathing in public pools? Should I patrol them to ensure no one has a camera pointed near my child? I will be more proactive next time though - I will call the police straight away
Roadwarrior, I do like the pictures ;-) I do also think you summed up my worries and feelings about it in post #74.
I think that replied to everything, and I hope you all enjoy the debate. I don't plan to take any of it personally, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Last edited by kins; Aug 19th 2008 at 12:51 am. Reason: *plan* to not plant to...
Aug 19th 2008, 12:15 am
#77
A rather curious boy
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 5,917
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
I can really understand your distress and disgust at this.
Aug 19th 2008, 12:42 am
#78
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
http://www.krages.com/ThePhotographersRight.pdf
Here is a basic run down on photographers rights in the US, gives you a general idea on what rights photogs have in public places.
Here is a basic run down on photographers rights in the US, gives you a general idea on what rights photogs have in public places.
Aug 19th 2008, 12:49 am
#79
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
Posts: 61,698
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
Ironically enough the pool we went to last weekend in Maine had a sign prohibiting any photos from being taken and I was moaning that I would really like to be able to take just a few photos...
To answer a few questions people have asked.
The pool was in one of the Boston public parks, and I have spoken to someone from the Parks Dept who has informed the Park Rangers and told me that this is not the kind of behaviour that is tolerated there.
If I were to post his photo anywhere it would be with exact details of what he did, but not with warnings that he might be a paedophile or anything else not completely factual. It would include a warning to other parents that if they don't want someone videoing their child without their permission, and refusing to tell them what they plan to do with the video, then they should be aware that this guy is around.
I have emailed some parents lists in Maine and asked them to spread the word to anyone they know in Boston - again it included exact details of what happened, no unfounded assumptions.
I will give copies of the photo to anyone who asks for one but I'm not sure I'll post it anywhere.
No my daughter isn't hot - she's 7. But she is very tall, very pretty, and she photographs well. I can imagine some might think she's hot, which makes me feel a bit sick.
We're now back in Maine from Boston, and I've uploaded the photo to my laptop (didn't have the cable with me in Boston, and just wanted to get on with the last two days of MIL's holiday with us). I feel a bit sick having a photo of him on the PC. The photo shows the guy with the camera to his face, filming my husband who at that moment is asking him to switch off his camera.
I will look at the Megan's Law databases - I tried to look while I was there but it appears that in Boston you have to fill in a form to ask for information.
I'm coping fine, thank you. I didn't sleep well last night - feeling frustrated and angry with both the guy doing the videoing, and myself for not calling the police straight away and getting witnesses to give their names and numbers. But we had a great weekend away apart from this incident. I just want to do what I can to stop it happening to other families, then I will try to just forget about it.
My daughter is a very intelligent and observant 7 year old, and wanted to know why her parents were shouting at a man with a camera. We've told her that he had been taking videos of her without asking us, and that we were cross with him, but that she's not to worry about it. I know he can't hurt her, but on the other hand I didn't let her out of my sight all day. It's easy to know you should be more logical, and usually I don't worry about paedos being everywhere blah blah, but right now I feel a bit undermined in my ability to protect my children. I know worse things happen to them, and now I'm that bit more aware that I can't always stop it from happening.
To the person who said I should be more careful and proactive in future: do you have some more concrete suggestions? Shall we stop bathing in public pools? Should I patrol them to ensure no one has a camera pointed near my child? I will be more proactive next time though - I will call the police straight away
Roadwarrior, I do like the pictures ;-) I do also think you summed up my worries and feelings about it in post #74.
I think that replied to everything, and I hope you all enjoy the debate. I don't plant to take any of it personally, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
To answer a few questions people have asked.
The pool was in one of the Boston public parks, and I have spoken to someone from the Parks Dept who has informed the Park Rangers and told me that this is not the kind of behaviour that is tolerated there.
If I were to post his photo anywhere it would be with exact details of what he did, but not with warnings that he might be a paedophile or anything else not completely factual. It would include a warning to other parents that if they don't want someone videoing their child without their permission, and refusing to tell them what they plan to do with the video, then they should be aware that this guy is around.
I have emailed some parents lists in Maine and asked them to spread the word to anyone they know in Boston - again it included exact details of what happened, no unfounded assumptions.
I will give copies of the photo to anyone who asks for one but I'm not sure I'll post it anywhere.
No my daughter isn't hot - she's 7. But she is very tall, very pretty, and she photographs well. I can imagine some might think she's hot, which makes me feel a bit sick.
We're now back in Maine from Boston, and I've uploaded the photo to my laptop (didn't have the cable with me in Boston, and just wanted to get on with the last two days of MIL's holiday with us). I feel a bit sick having a photo of him on the PC. The photo shows the guy with the camera to his face, filming my husband who at that moment is asking him to switch off his camera.
I will look at the Megan's Law databases - I tried to look while I was there but it appears that in Boston you have to fill in a form to ask for information.
I'm coping fine, thank you. I didn't sleep well last night - feeling frustrated and angry with both the guy doing the videoing, and myself for not calling the police straight away and getting witnesses to give their names and numbers. But we had a great weekend away apart from this incident. I just want to do what I can to stop it happening to other families, then I will try to just forget about it.
My daughter is a very intelligent and observant 7 year old, and wanted to know why her parents were shouting at a man with a camera. We've told her that he had been taking videos of her without asking us, and that we were cross with him, but that she's not to worry about it. I know he can't hurt her, but on the other hand I didn't let her out of my sight all day. It's easy to know you should be more logical, and usually I don't worry about paedos being everywhere blah blah, but right now I feel a bit undermined in my ability to protect my children. I know worse things happen to them, and now I'm that bit more aware that I can't always stop it from happening.
To the person who said I should be more careful and proactive in future: do you have some more concrete suggestions? Shall we stop bathing in public pools? Should I patrol them to ensure no one has a camera pointed near my child? I will be more proactive next time though - I will call the police straight away
Roadwarrior, I do like the pictures ;-) I do also think you summed up my worries and feelings about it in post #74.
I think that replied to everything, and I hope you all enjoy the debate. I don't plant to take any of it personally, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Enjoy the rest of your vacation. Karma sent to you with love and hugs from one parent who believes in the first amendment to another.
Ive sent you a pm!
Last edited by willmore; Aug 19th 2008 at 1:01 am.
Aug 19th 2008, 1:03 am
#80
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
I'm sorry but having kids is not a qualification for either being liberal or wondering what the OP is fretting about.
Personally I think the guy was a weirdo and could well have been a paedophile. However, since he didn't approach the child and was using a camera in a public area, there's a limit to what anyone can do if he isn't under some sort of parole order or had broken . I simply don't want such incidents to make using a camera in a public place illegal, I'm afraid.
The weirdo has done little harm. He didn't approach or speak to the child and does not know their identity. By all means report it to the local cop shop. But these silly ideas of assaulting the guy are beyond stupid.
Personally I think the guy was a weirdo and could well have been a paedophile. However, since he didn't approach the child and was using a camera in a public area, there's a limit to what anyone can do if he isn't under some sort of parole order or had broken . I simply don't want such incidents to make using a camera in a public place illegal, I'm afraid.
The weirdo has done little harm. He didn't approach or speak to the child and does not know their identity. By all means report it to the local cop shop. But these silly ideas of assaulting the guy are beyond stupid.
If the man had apologized, and understood that the OP and her husband did not want him filming their child and had given a more plausible and apt explanation as to why he was doing it then maybe they would have had nothing to FRET about...............but he didn't. It is quite natural you know for parents to have an instinctive reaction to unwarranted attention to their children and it is also natural to want protect your child from anything you deem suspicous or untoward happening to your child.
Maybe the next child he films wont have a parent around to protect them..
As for being liberal, who the hell cares and why do you always bring that up?
Aug 19th 2008, 1:08 am
#81
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
http://www.krages.com/ThePhotographersRight.pdf
Here is a basic run down on photographers rights in the US, gives you a general idea on what rights photogs have in public places.
Here is a basic run down on photographers rights in the US, gives you a general idea on what rights photogs have in public places.
I wonder a couple things... does taking video have the same rights as photos?
And unrelated... do people that rent a property have the same rights to forbid photography as property owners?
Aug 19th 2008, 1:14 am
#82
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 826
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
I drink my daily java in an very gay coffee shop and, with my stunning good looks and charming yet heterosexual nature, would not be surprised at all if one of the regulars had snapped me with his Apple and was wanking over me at home or with his buddies over the Net. Does it bother me? Not at all! Provided he doesn't print my name beneath it.
I don't want my internet censoring in some futile quest to protect children, I'm afraid.
I don't want my internet censoring in some futile quest to protect children, I'm afraid.
Also how would you know if it was gay? You know, you get quirky coffee shop names like central perk, daily grind...Do gay cofee shops have their own nomenclature..the foamy head? cafe au gay..
Aug 19th 2008, 1:14 am
#83
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
Posts: 61,698
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
If the man had apologized, and understood that the OP and her husband did not want him filming their child and had given a more plausible and apt explanation as to why he was doing it then maybe they would have had nothing to FRET about...............but he didn't. It is quite natural you know for parents to have an instinctive reaction to unwarranted attention to their children and it is also natural to want protect your child from anything you deem suspicous or untoward happening to your child.
Maybe the next child he films wont have a parent around to protect them..
As for being liberal, who the hell cares and why do you always bring that up?
Maybe the next child he films wont have a parent around to protect them..
As for being liberal, who the hell cares and why do you always bring that up?
Aug 19th 2008, 1:27 am
#84
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: East Bay Area
Posts: 2,192
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
All,
I do not care of one has kids or not, if what one was doing is
legal or not and if US tolerates this or not...or for that matter what
people think.....This is indeed subjective i.e. what I feel inappropriate
(even if that is legal) may not be what someone else might feel.
Kins,
The least thing I can say here you are absolutely doing well and
have the right to be worried. Try and influence what you can and
forget about legality and 'US' laws.
I think you should make your daughter aware what *you* think is inappropriate
and make her understand that its important for her to report it back
to you. I totally appreciate your concern. Everyone for themselves and
it's your duty to protect her.
From *my* point of view, what he was doing may be legal that does not mean
i would be comfortable someone having a half an hour video of my daughter
on their camera. Totally unacceptable to *me*....
Unfortunately it has come to this - there are people who will defend the
camera guy and rightly so as the law says he can do what he was...you should
make sure your kids understand what is acceptable and what isnot and
protect your family.....
Regards to people here saying "whats the fuss about..." or something alike..
Would you want your daugheter's 30 min video in the hands of someone who
may not have done anything illegal but you have no clue what will he
be using this for (forget what he said when he was confronted).....
I for one certainly will not be waiting for that guy to put this on the web
or use it some other way to take actions......
I do not care of one has kids or not, if what one was doing is
legal or not and if US tolerates this or not...or for that matter what
people think.....This is indeed subjective i.e. what I feel inappropriate
(even if that is legal) may not be what someone else might feel.
Kins,
The least thing I can say here you are absolutely doing well and
have the right to be worried. Try and influence what you can and
forget about legality and 'US' laws.
I think you should make your daughter aware what *you* think is inappropriate
and make her understand that its important for her to report it back
to you. I totally appreciate your concern. Everyone for themselves and
it's your duty to protect her.
From *my* point of view, what he was doing may be legal that does not mean
i would be comfortable someone having a half an hour video of my daughter
on their camera. Totally unacceptable to *me*....
Unfortunately it has come to this - there are people who will defend the
camera guy and rightly so as the law says he can do what he was...you should
make sure your kids understand what is acceptable and what isnot and
protect your family.....
Regards to people here saying "whats the fuss about..." or something alike..
Would you want your daugheter's 30 min video in the hands of someone who
may not have done anything illegal but you have no clue what will he
be using this for (forget what he said when he was confronted).....
I for one certainly will not be waiting for that guy to put this on the web
or use it some other way to take actions......
Aug 19th 2008, 1:29 am
#85
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
All,
I do not care of one has kids or not, if what one was doing is
legal or not and if US tolerates this or not...or for that matter what
people think.....This is indeed subjective i.e. what I feel inappropriate
(even if that is legal) may not be what someone else might feel.
Kins,
The least thing I can say here you are absolutely doing well and
have the right to be worried. Try and influence what you can and
forget about legality and 'US' laws.
I think you should make your daughter aware what *you* think is inappropriate
and make her understand that its important for her to report it back
to you. I totally appreciate your concern. Everyone for themselves and
it's your duty to protect her.
From *my* point of view, what he was doing may be legal that does not mean
i would be comfortable someone having a half an hour video of my daughter
on their camera. Totally unacceptable to *me*....
Unfortunately it has come to this - there are people who will defend the
camera guy and rightly so as the law says he can do what he was...you should
make sure your kids understand what is acceptable and what isnot and
protect your family.....
Regards to people here saying "whats the fuss about..." or something alike..
Would you want your daugheter's 30 min video in the hands of someone who
may not have done anything illegal but you have no clue what will he
be using this for (forget what he said when he was confronted).....
I for one certainly will not be waiting for that guy to put this on the web
or use it some other way to take actions......
I do not care of one has kids or not, if what one was doing is
legal or not and if US tolerates this or not...or for that matter what
people think.....This is indeed subjective i.e. what I feel inappropriate
(even if that is legal) may not be what someone else might feel.
Kins,
The least thing I can say here you are absolutely doing well and
have the right to be worried. Try and influence what you can and
forget about legality and 'US' laws.
I think you should make your daughter aware what *you* think is inappropriate
and make her understand that its important for her to report it back
to you. I totally appreciate your concern. Everyone for themselves and
it's your duty to protect her.
From *my* point of view, what he was doing may be legal that does not mean
i would be comfortable someone having a half an hour video of my daughter
on their camera. Totally unacceptable to *me*....
Unfortunately it has come to this - there are people who will defend the
camera guy and rightly so as the law says he can do what he was...you should
make sure your kids understand what is acceptable and what isnot and
protect your family.....
Regards to people here saying "whats the fuss about..." or something alike..
Would you want your daugheter's 30 min video in the hands of someone who
may not have done anything illegal but you have no clue what will he
be using this for (forget what he said when he was confronted).....
I for one certainly will not be waiting for that guy to put this on the web
or use it some other way to take actions......
If what he was doing is legal, which it appears likely that it was.
Aug 19th 2008, 1:30 am
#86
A rather curious boy
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 5,917
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
What's the difference between a gay and a very gay coffee shop? Perhaps I don't want to know....
Also how would you know if it was gay? You know, you get quirky coffee shop names like central perk, daily grind...Do gay cofee shops have their own nomenclature..the foamy head? cafe au gay..
Also how would you know if it was gay? You know, you get quirky coffee shop names like central perk, daily grind...Do gay cofee shops have their own nomenclature..the foamy head? cafe au gay..
The Flick My Bean?
Aug 19th 2008, 1:33 am
#88
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: East Bay Area
Posts: 2,192
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
1. Rightly being worried.
2. Teaching her daughter what is inappropriate and that she should
share it with her parents if it happens. e.g. if someone touches
her inappropriately - the child must know what is inappropriate
3. Report to the park authorities/police - even if they can not do
anything legally, this is necessary so that there is a record
4. Be careful
I did not not say anywhere she can do *anything* legally as such
to that camera guy as I am not lawyer and I do not know what her
*legal* rights would be...but being concerned is a good start...
Aug 19th 2008, 1:36 am
#89
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
Exactly as I said :
1. Rightly being worried.
2. Teaching her daughter what is inappropriate and that she should
share it with her parents if it happens. e.g. if someone touches
her inappropriately - the child must know what is inappropriate
3. Report to the park authorities/police - even if they can not do
anything legally, this is necessary so that there is a record
4. Be careful
I did not not say anywhere she can do *anything* legally as such
to that camera guy as I am not lawyer and I do not know what her
*legal* rights would be...but being concerned is a good start...
1. Rightly being worried.
2. Teaching her daughter what is inappropriate and that she should
share it with her parents if it happens. e.g. if someone touches
her inappropriately - the child must know what is inappropriate
3. Report to the park authorities/police - even if they can not do
anything legally, this is necessary so that there is a record
4. Be careful
I did not not say anywhere she can do *anything* legally as such
to that camera guy as I am not lawyer and I do not know what her
*legal* rights would be...but being concerned is a good start...
Be a bit concerned, get the kid away - sure. Like I said before, I wouldn't like it either.
But I guess I wouldn't suggest being threatening, calling police, etc. if only legal activities were occurring.
Aug 19th 2008, 1:37 am
#90
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 0
Re: A stranger videoing my daughter at the pool
According to the link the other poster put up, legally he would be completely within his rights, for a photo. We don't know for sure if that applies to video, but I suspect it does.
Be a bit concerned, get the kid away - sure. Like I said before, I wouldn't like it either.
But I guess I wouldn't suggest being threatening, calling police, etc. if only legal activities were occurring.
Be a bit concerned, get the kid away - sure. Like I said before, I wouldn't like it either.
But I guess I wouldn't suggest being threatening, calling police, etc. if only legal activities were occurring.
..............you also may think totally different if it was your own 7 year old daughter.