Don't know who told you this but I'm fairly sure it's completely wrong. you should be able to get a SSN within a couple of weeks of arriving. That's certainly true for most visa types and I can't find any evidence from SSA or USCIS that L2s are treated differently. In fact, the SSA says here that L2s may work without EAD but must submit evidence of their relationship to the L1 when applying for a SSN (which is ALWAYS required to work).

i had my ssn 18 months before i got an EAD and I was L2

It was actually our immigration attorneys who told us this when we contacted them alarmed that my SSN application had been deleted! I'm becoming increasingly concerned and nervous that something else is going to go wrong now, either with the EAD or SSN application. Not that there is any reason why it should, but I don't seem to be having much luck out here...

have you tried walking into an ssn office with your paperwork (ie proof of L1 visa and marriage cert) and the completed form and just trying again? Even if you went to a different office? Nothing to lose by trying.

As you have been in the country more than 2 weeks they should be able to input it into the system while you wait. (ie find you in the system straight away) If they cant find you then you can ask them how to proceed as you are clearly 'there' and can show a passport stamp/ticket stub etc to prove when you arrived. Originally you went into the office too soon (THEY RECOMEND LEAVING IT 10-14 DAYS AFTER ARRIVAL) - and you wouldnt have been on the system after just 3 days and so they would have to have hold onto the paperwork and retry again later on when you should have showed up. (MAYBE they just lost this paper and it didnt ever get onto the systme - rather than having bee deleted). Now you should be able to get some immediate feedback as to whether they could input you or not.

You can also go back the next day and get a printed copy of the number if it has been successfully processed overnight and if its not successful you may have more info as to why?