troutgirl

Hello I hope someone can help us. I am dreadfully concerned and very upset with the situation we are in you see, me my spouse and 2 children moved to the US last year to live permanently. This is our story. We have green cards which we got through my family, my brother who is a u.s. citizen. My whole family returned to the UK and surrendered our g.c. in the 80's except my brother who went on to become a citizen and i refiled an I130 through my brother and got a new greencard last year (and for my husband and children). He agreed to be our sponsor for the (aos) affidavit of support. We are sick with worry because my brother has problems, mostly suffering with manic depression ilness and has strong uncontrollable mood swings. My brother and me have always had a turbulant relationship but recently we have had a terrible argument and I am worried that he carry out his threat and retaliate by trying to remove his sponsorship and forcing us to leave the country. He knows this would hurt me beyond words.
Our kids are settled in school and we have good jobs and love living in America. We have been through so much to relocate our lives to the US and my brother seems to think that we are only here for him. Its like my brother makes me responsiblle for his happiness so if I try to have my own life he gets angry or gives me the silent treatment which leaves me feeling guilty. I love him but it is getting unbearable to tollerate. He divorced a year ago as his wife could not take anymore and now it is as though I have replaced her as his emotional support.
Its a very difficult situation but now I am deeply worried for my family that we will have to leave our home and the usa because he holds a hand over us as our sponsor. Anyone advise us what we cfan do? I feel emotionally blackmailed. Can he contact the INS and say he doesn't want to be our sponsor anymore and we will have to leave? Once we are citizens in 4 years will he stop being in charge of us?
Please advise and if you need more information please ask. we want to feel secure.
S x thankyou.

Patrick

The crux is that he has agreed to support for the period, he can now not change his mind. He is stuck with you and there is nothing he can do about it. Stop worrying, about this anyway and be less selfish and think about your brothers health problems. Your not going to be removed, now concentrate on whats important, family.

matt_in_philly

I concur. The sponsor has to "support" you for 10 years. PERIOD. He can't just say that he doesn't want to anymore (for whatever reason). As a matter of fact even if your husband/wife was your sponsor and you got divorced before 10 years is up, he/she still would have to support you. That's something the government wants foreigners to do, so they couldn't sign on doll etc for at least 10 years. Good thinking on their side.

I don't know whether it's politically correct to say that but even your brother could ( but he CAN"T) withdraw his sponsorship, then you could certainly ask for a mental evaluation (in this case of course). However, I'm sure it wouldn't come to that.

As far as citizenship is concerned, it may be 5 years for you as you didn't get your residency through marriage to a US citizen.

Now, sit back, take a deep breath and enjoy your tea . Everything's fine, nothing to worry about.

troutgirl

Thankyou for your advice sir. My family is very complicated, it always has been and my brother has had over 25 years of psychiatric care with noo improvment, a wife and two children who sadly despise him after he ignored them and wore his pyjamas while watching daytime tv for 3 whole years (yes 3 whole years) and a blood family who have failed to cope and have stopped trying for their own sanity. I guarantee to you that I am the most unselfish person who you would ever come to know and I regret the way I worded my post if this is how I came across. We all have our limits on how much we can take and I think it is my brother who is selfish when he tells me how I have to stay living in his neighbourhood (we got a better job offer in another state)or he'll get us deported. I surely don't wish to air my dirty laundry on a forum but I had to if I needed advice and I am grateful for the information that you shared.

troutgirl

Thankyou much for confirming this. I did not realise this was the law. I feel much better to know that there is nothing to worry about and I will stop being in fear of this 'threat' now. I am angry that he said these things to me although i do understand that it is probably because he wants to feel some control so I will carefully talk with him about that but mostly I feel relief. Thankyou again.

Lion in Winter

As the others have said, he can't get you deported. Your situation here is perfectly legal, and he cannot just change his mind about being the sponsor. I know that long-term mental illness takes a terrible toll on the family-seen it plenty. You'll be fine.

troutgirl

thankyou, everyone here had been kind about this. I know many people have to deal with this type of thing and it is not just me and my family, but it has become a bit more strained with the immigration. I wish it on nobody.

superpat

Hi Troutgirl,

I can sympathise with you to some extent - my younger brother has schizophrenia and it takes a terrible toll on family. Even though, rationally, you know he is ill and not responsible for his behaviour in the same way as you or I are, emotionally, it can be almost impossible to cope with.

Having read the advice already posted, I would strongly advise you to seek professional legal advice from a specialist immigration attorney. The peace of mind would be well worth the cost for what should be a very straightforward opinion.

You would also have a much stronger response to your brother, rather than "Well, I read on the Internet...".

Hope things work out and that your brother gets the help he needs - I know my brother is a different person when he is on (the right) medication.

PM me if you want my email address to chat privately.

Good luck!

Pat

lairdside

What is the nature of his disorder? Bipolar I or II?

From what you have said it sounds as if he is Bipolar I?

Do you have any support apart from your brother's psychatric care? I hope you don't mind my asking. My ex is bipolar II btw.

lairdside

What is the nature of his disorder? Bipolar I or II?

From what you have said it sounds as if he is Bipolar I?

Do you have any support apart from your brother's psychatric care? I hope you don't mind my asking. My ex is bipolar II btw.