kins

It works out more like $24k a year including all the fees and expenses - we looked into it a while ago. The au pair works 40 hours a week.

Michael

I understand there are added expenses of room and board and probably transportation but what are the other fees and expenses?

Karrie72

Which is strange because in the UK an au pair is strictly part time with time off for college courses etc.

I was an au pair here in the early nineties and I was working 12 hour days at least with no break. I even had to sleep in the kids bedroom. Was a nightmare.

Orangepants

Wow - I had it easy in Brussels! I had the whole top floor of a gorgeous city townhouse, all I had to do was take the children to school, bring them back for lunch and then pick them up at the end of school and perhaps babysit once a week. All that spoilt it was the father was a lecherous drunk who watched porn at night and then would forget to take the dvd out of the player and I'd come down to two 5 yr olds with their noses presses up against the screen - saying "like mummy's boobies"

Karrie72

Crickey that does sound very nice but also creepy! I also had a creepy Dad...he'd take me out for long isolated canoe rides and tell me about how much his marriage was in trouble. We'd get home and the wife would lay into us like a screaming banshee!

I do think the whole au pair industry has much more oversight and regulation in Europe.

Michael

For an US citizen working as an au pair in the US or an EU citizen working in the EU, they just quit if their agreement is abused.

However, I suspect it is similar if a non US citizen is working as an au pair in the US or a non EU citizen is working as an au pair in the EU, they fear reporting abuse of agreement to the authorities since they could lose their job and therefore would probably have to leave the country.

As an example, the US government was very gutsy in criminally charging an Indian diplomat with visa fraud for underpaying her Indian maid. However, the maid probably also had to leave the US.

I suspect in your case, you didn't report it or quit for similar reasons and suspect it is even harder for au pairs from third world countries. For the J-1 student au pair visa, the rules are pretty strict but if someone doesn't report abuse, then nothing is done.

Karrie72

I was on a J-1 student visa and was aged 18, in an Alaskan bush village where no phone existed, pre internet days obviously. There was lots of exploitation but I still had a good time. I came back right?! However I'd hesitate to recommend it as an experience for European girls as you're told one thing about the job but when you get here it's 40 + hours per week with very little freedom or support from the agency. I couldn't drive for example so was stuck at their house and there was no escape from their marital/domestic disputes.

You could call it character building which it certainly was.

Michael

In both the US and Europe, I suspect there is a lot of exploitation of people especially from third world countries because the know they can likely get away with it. Since you were trapped in an Alaskan bush village, they probably figured that they could exploit you also without consequences since the authorities have much more important things to do.

kins

The reason we didn't go with an au pair for our childcare was because (mainly) it's so hard to know from one or two telephone chats if you've found the right person. They're going to live in your house, drive your car, look after your children while you're not there. If you don't like them or they don't like you then what happens? It seems unfair to send them home but awful to keep them for the full year in your home.

So we went for local nannies who we could interview in person, where we could talk to their referees, and where if necessary we could part company and find someone else.

Michael

Plus you wanted to make sure she wasn't too attractive. My old boss's family hired a Swiss au pair through the J-1 program and he ended up having an affair with her.

Karrie72

That's true, some of these girls can get very homesick and go to a dark place mentally. I knew an au pair in NYC who tried to set fire to the house and another one here in Maine who became incredibly morose and refused to come out of her room, never mind do her job.

Karrie72

The Dad I described earlier had an affair with a Finnish au pair which broke up his first marriage. My red flags started waving when he told me that.

Michael

Maybe that is also part of the job description.

Englishmum

My friend employed an au pair who was from Poland. It turned out that this young woman had been with two other families and it didn't work out; rather than send them home the agencies tend to keep them in the US until another family can be found for them. Unfortunately this au pair didn't work out either......she didn't stop at a 'stop' sign, and crashed my friend's car with her two children in it

My friend then brought in another au pair from her home country (Australia). She was a 'homely girl' aged 21 from a farm in Queensland and came highly recommended by family friends. I met her a few times; at first she was great.....but then it all went downhill. It turned out that she was spending most of the day (whilst my friend was at work, a single parent) on Skype with her mates back in Oz. She made friends with other au pairs in the area so would disappear all weekend and go partying in New York City, arriving with a hangover on a Monday morning when my friend needed to get to work. She became quite slovenly and my friend said she was a 'bush pig'....she was leaving food rotting in her room and for some weird reason, under her bed!

The 'bush pig' then asked if she could have her new boyfriend a 'manny' (male au pair) staying over one Saturday night. My friend didn't get any sleep....the au pair's room was on the top floor of a three storey house.....the au pair and the manny were having rampant sex and the shrieking and noise of the bed banging against the wall wasn't conducive to sleep....especially when some of the plaster was coming off the ceiling onto my friend's bed lol!

The final straw was when my friend's daughter then told her mum that her little brother (18 months old) was playing in the bathroom and eating some poo which was in the toilet bowl.....the au pair was oblivious, on the computer yet again....

I think a lot of the problems with employing au pairs are the different expectations on both sides; I get the impression that for the au pairs they will have a lot of fun, meet other local au pairs and young Americans who they can socialise with, get immersed in American culture, see the sights and maybe even be taken on vacation with the host family (who will apparently treat them like a welcome family member) and earn some 'pocket money' to boot. I also imagine that they would find it very odd that they can't (legally) drink until the age of 21, whereas invariably back in their home countries they've been able to drink for years....

OTOH I have seen messageboards serving my local area in NJ with parents seeking 'cheap' childcare; there are always replies from other parents suggesting employing an au pair....even though the hours are far longer than any au pair employed in Europe would be able to (legally) work. It does seem that many of the au pairs in the US are exploited by some families. The agency fees are not cheap and of course au pairs have to be provided with health insurance too and undoubtedly the host families want their money's worth.