Originally Posted by backagen

You're certainly not the only one to have tried emigrating as a way of "running away" from your problems.

It's a hopeless thing to do and rarely, if ever, actually works in the long run. Sadly though there are multiple TV shows, magazines and advertisements on in UK even now that actively ENCOURAGE people there to emigrate as a way of escaping everyday problems! Makes my blood boil when I see that, because I know only too well it just makes your problems 1000 times worse!

Anyway, my only advice is that, having been through something that's probably quite similar to what you're going through, I would say try to force yourself to take a step back and relax a little, otherwise the emotional stress will get the better of you and it won't do your situation any good at all.

If you can just tell yourself, very firmly, that you WILL get through all your problems, and that within a year or so (or whatever timeframe you find realistic and achievable for you) you WILL be back in UK, and most or all of your problems will be well on the way to being sorted out, then you will find it much easier.

Make some definate plans, and just do whatever it takes (including living on beans and toast if necessary) to achieve them.

Also I would advise you to take a very tough, independant attitude to it all. Tell yourself "I'm going to do this in spite of everyone, and I will show them I can deal with all this and still come out on top in spite of them all!" (feel perfectly free to add a few expletives into that if you wish!)

Basically nobody is likely to be interested in helping you (unless you are extraordinarily lucky) because nobody really understands your situation (with the exception of me and others you 'talk' to on this forum, we have been there and we do understand!) so you have to do it for YOU, and be TOUGH in spite of it all!

It's no use talking to your family and friend in UK, because they're all brainwashed into thinking everything is terrible in UK and wonderful almost anywhere else in the world. They think you're LUCKY to be where you are!!!

Hope that helps a little!

Originally Posted by Emma M

Yeah, I know, I always come here to vent, but it's either here or I let it out at work.
I'm fed up with no one understanding what the hell I'm saying!
My God, if they were in England, no one would have much problem understanding them, where is the big bloody problem?
I'm probably going to end up losing my job or something because customers cannot understand me. I can't even fake a decent American accent, let alone a southern one and when I try to speak more clearly (as told to by my boss) I end up sounding posh English. All I'm doing is just confusing everyone. It's embarrassing and really pissing me off.
Every customer points it out, and yeah I know it's a bit of a novelty for them but I'm just trying to do my job the same as everyone else, I'm not being paid to be British.
I've only been there 3 days, and I think I'm going to end up walking out because of it.
The actual job is well easy, if I was around people I could understand well and they could understand me, there would be no problem at all, but the accent problem works both ways and if I cannot understand the customers and they cannot understand me, that's a huge frustrating problem.
It just makes me more determined to go home. I just want out of here now.

Originally Posted by Margaret3

I could've posted that,, ave had a helluva time with my accent it really gets me down, but what ave found the more you try to chage it the worse you sound and the less your understood, just slow it down a bit.

Originally Posted by Margaret3

I could've posted that,, ave had a helluva time with my accent it really gets me down, but what ave found the more you try to chage it the worse you sound and the less your understood, just slow it down a bit.

Goodluck with your situation.

Originally Posted by Emma M

That's right. My boss said to me to "try to speak clearly", how the hell do I do that? I can't do a southern drawl, well I can, but I'm not confident to do that in public and it would sound so fake and insulting.

Originally Posted by busterboy

It is amazing how much this can get you down.

Originally Posted by Emma M

I can understand it from their point of view, I mean, we have all rang call centers based in India and got annoyed because we can't understand them, but it's not easy to change the way anyone speaks!

Originally Posted by busterboy

But given that your standard of English is probably better than your average American, it is pretty galling.

I once lived in the South of England and for three years I was asked to repeat myself for nearly every sentence. It is damaging to self-esteem.

Originally Posted by backagen

Probably a silly question, but have you tried speaking with NO accent at all?

Just say the words in a sort of monotone way, very, VERY slowly, and avoid using any English words they wouldn't understand (such as "luv", "bap" etc).

If you can master that then surely even the yanks should be able to understand you.

I do know what you're going through though. It took me over 10 years before I could speak in such a way that the average Australian didn't ask me to repeat myself.

I still love it when I'm back in UK (or here talking to an English person) because it's the only time I can really speak naturally in my real accent.

The rest of the time I do as I suggested above (speak with no accent, or at least try). Most Aussies can still pick that I have an English accent, but they can at least understand me.

When I first arrived here it was constant repetition, especially if I said something like "Butter" (which they pronounce "Batter"), or "Yoghurt" (which they pronounce "Yo-gat").

Originally Posted by backagen

Probably a silly question, but have you tried speaking with NO accent at all?

Just say the words in a sort of monotone way, very, VERY slowly, and avoid using any English words they wouldn't understand (such as "luv", "bap" etc).

If you can master that then surely even the yanks should be able to understand you.

I do know what you're going through though. It took me over 10 years before I could speak in such a way that the average Australian didn't ask me to repeat myself.

I still love it when I'm back in UK (or here talking to an English person) because it's the only time I can really speak naturally in my real accent.

The rest of the time I do as I suggested above (speak with no accent, or at least try). Most Aussies can still pick that I have an English accent, but they can at least understand me.

When I first arrived here it was constant repetition, especially if I said something like "Butter" (which they pronounce "Batter"), or "Yoghurt" (which they pronounce "Yo-gat").

Originally Posted by Emma M

lol, how is anyone supposed to speak with no accent, everyone has one, they just don't realise it, lol!!!

Originally Posted by Emma M

Yeah, I know, I always come here to vent, but it's either here or I let it out at work.
I'm fed up with no one understanding what the hell I'm saying!
My God, if they were in England, no one would have much problem understanding them, where is the big bloody problem?
I'm probably going to end up losing my job or something because customers cannot understand me. I can't even fake a decent American accent, let alone a southern one and when I try to speak more clearly (as told to by my boss) I end up sounding posh English. All I'm doing is just confusing everyone. It's embarrassing and really pissing me off.
Every customer points it out, and yeah I know it's a bit of a novelty for them but I'm just trying to do my job the same as everyone else, I'm not being paid to be British.
I've only been there 3 days, and I think I'm going to end up walking out because of it.
The actual job is well easy, if I was around people I could understand well and they could understand me, there would be no problem at all, but the accent problem works both ways and if I cannot understand the customers and they cannot understand me, that's a huge frustrating problem.
It just makes me more determined to go home. I just want out of here now.

Originally Posted by Margaret3

i wish i could, as soon as i open my mouth i get stared at strangely

Originally Posted by Dave_Was

Emma,

I feel for you I really do. One thing that you might want to do is to go online and have a look at how much a ticket back to the UK is and then focus on getting the money for that. Maybe that way when you're at work, and your feeling a little down at least you can say to yourself another day and another step closer to that plane home.

Also, without sound presumtutious (is that a word?) have you looked at your budget and had a look to see if there's any money you could save, etc.

Good luck.