Pulaski

See post #1. (Denver, CO).

md95065

Another unfortunate reality to consider is that, depending on the level of care that your father needs in his remaining years, and particularly if he ultimately were to end up in a nursing home, the financial burden of caring for him could be considerable and could quite easily consume all of his own assets and more ...

Steve_

I would stay put if I were you, the simplest thing to do is to give your sister some money to help support your father. Moving is expensive and healthcare in the US is expensive.

Asg123

Life with a low wage job in the US is worse than in the UK. (and with a good job it's better)

Rete

From personal experience in my father's case, all his savings were taken by the nursing home and his month pension check from the postal service and his social security benefit check were all sent to the nursing home monthly. All he was allowed to do before they took his life savings was plan and pay for his own funeral.

petitefrancaise

Moving you and your family back to the USA would be incredibly stressful for everyone concerned, moving back to not enough money sounds like a recipe for disaster. It's completely natural for you to want to spend some time with your dad and to help out your sister. Perhaps coming back for a visit every now and then would be more feasible and would give your sister a chance to have a break.

scrubbedexpat097

I understand your worries and I understand the need for you to make this move.

Living here on a low income is hard. I know because we did it, it was 28 years ago but it happened, it was tough but we survived. We had family here but we had no support from them so we were on our own. At least you will have that support

You can make it work but you and your husband have to be prepared to be really supportive to each other, your marriage needs to be strong .

You have an advantage of being a US citizen so you are not completely green to the way of life in the US.

Finding work can be difficult. We realized fairly quickly that finding something, anything really, often involved knowing someone and when you are on your own here that is hard. So use your sister, her friends and anyone you meet to network. Be flexible, and don't be too picky. Getting your foot in the door sometimes leads to something better.

Be prepared for ups and downs. There are a lot of times in our early years here that I look back at now and wonder how we survived!

Good luck if you go ahead with your plans. It can be done, it will be a struggle but if it means being close to your family and being with your dad then to you it will be worth the effort.

Bob

Have you thought about just moving back here alone for a short period of time? If you can stay with your family and only working part time as it is, freelance, you could potentially just come here on your own for a bit to help out.

It might not be ideal, but would be less expense/hassle than completely moving over permanently.

If you don't already have UK citizenship, I don't know how this would affect your status in the UK though.

Good luck!

aless02

Thanks for all the ideas and thoughts! They really are useful to hear, even when conveying harsh realities.

Husband is an optician (not the licensed sort, though) which the sparse data on job boards looks like it would earn $30-40k. Definitely not enough to live on, especially with 2 kids in Denver metro area. I work online and this would carry on after the move, but it's only around $10-12k, no benefits. Looks like it boils down to finding a magic way to live on so little (haha, unlikely) or husband utilizing connections and finding a different/higher-paid job. Rents are beyond ridiculous in the area. Only asking for the Holy Grail here! ;-)

This week has been very hard to separate head from heart, something which I am definitely not used to! (normally very level-headed and practical)

mrken30

It may be better to stay put in the UK and find cheap flights to visit.

https://www.google.co.uk/flights/#se...8;r=2017-03-23
Around £400

It sound like you would be able to work from the US without a problem. It may be easier for a family member to put up one person than 2 people.
As a visitor you may be able to get away with just buying travel insurance in the UK. Be careful about over staying in the US with regards to your UK visa status.

scrubbedexpat097

I believe the OP has young children. Living apart from them often and for fairly long periods of time probably is not very practical or something she would want to do. I imagine the plan is for them all to move together.

mrken30

Also in the UK you get a biggish fine if you have to pull kids out of school. School holidays are only 3 months away.

The whole situation just sucks.

kodokan

Given the children the OP is unlikely to be able to go to the US solo, but just to clarify; as a US citizen she would be subject to the requirement to have ACA-compliant health insurance if she spent more than around a month in the US (I believe the exemption requirement is to be out of the US for 330 days in a calendar year).

aless02

Going to the US solo (even temporarily) is not an option, but I can see why people are suggesting it. Splitting one family up for the purpose of being with another is a bit counter intuitive for our purposes. My dad being sick is the catalyst, yes, but just living close to my family is another pull.

As with most things in the life, it's mostly pesky money that's the issue!!

md95065

Thanks to the current administration that is unlikely to be an issue for the OP. If that requirement isn't already gone it soon will be :-(