aless02

Trying to make a long story short: I emigrated to the UK 10 years ago (I'm a USC) and now have a UKC husband and 2 young children.

My father is now chronically ill with long term care needs. The burden for care is currently falling 100 percent on my sister who he has moved in with (she has her own family too) so for the first time in my life, I'm seriously contemplating moving back to the US. I love the UK, it's my home and we're happy, but I do miss my family.

Here's the real sticking point: we live pretty low income here in the UK, and that fact wouldn't change much in a move to the USA (looking at the pay offered for the same job my husband does now). I keep reading on this forum and others that having a low income is much harder in the US then the UK. My dad has retirement/savings that would be used to get us over there and set up (we rent, very few assets)

I know I'm thinking with my heart, as before I visited him last week, I never even contemplated going back, but my sister has pointed out that it's probably now or never, unless someone won the lottery.

I guess I'm just trying to get a feel of what things are really like. If my husband can secure a job, can that be used for the affidavit of support? I only work PT freelance for some spare cash, so he is the primary earner. Is living low-ish income harder in the US countered by living with/near family? My head is all over the place right now. It's all not helped that she lives in a rather expensive area, Denver metro.

Thanks for letting me brain dump! Not sure if there's other people out there that have moved other than with a cushy job offer :-( .

Pulaski

The biggest difference is the cost of health insurance - it is more or less a fixed cost and therefore is a much larger burden on those on low income. Worse, if you don't have some savings you are stuck with having to buy expensive, low deductible insurance which is much more expensive than alternatives with higher deductibles.

The extent to which this impacts your family will depend on the insurance offered by your husband's employer, but if his pay is low it will still impact him more than if he had a higher paid job.

aless02

Understood. It is a big concern for me (us) too, as while the kids & I are pretty healthy, husband does have some low-level conditions he currently receives medication for. Healthcare system has always been the #1 reason we have never entertained moving.

Sounds like it pretty much hinges on what level of job he could secure, which feels like a catch-22 (can't get serious about moving unless we know his prospects, but he won't have any prospects unless we get serious about moving!).

Jerseygirl

Welcome to BE.

Your husband will also need a visa to live and work in the US...and a sponsor...this will take time and money.

carcajou

aless02, what would your Medicaid situation be in the US? My understanding is that for many low-income families (under a certain income threshold), if you are in Medicaid, your out-of-pocket is capped at something like $75 and your co-pay at something like $5.

Look at your eligibility for that, not just the Obama exchanges.

Can other Forumites with knowledge about the Medicaid program elaborate?

aless02

Yes I realize my husband will need a visa, of course. My dad has savings that can cover the costs involved in this process (and my sister can easily be a joint sponsor to meet the I-864 requirements), I'm just thinking long-term family quality of life after the initial move, after which we'd be standing on our 2 feet, as it were.

I think we'd be above Medicaid qualifications, and besides there's a 5 year waiting period for green card holders, so moot anyway . But thanks.

I know there's no definitive answer here, guess I'm just feeling things out. I see a lot of advice on here of 'don't move unless offered $xx in salary' but not as many posts addressing family reasons or those who don't make $80k+...

Pulaski

I have been known to make such posts, but only directed at people moving for job/career reasons. If you have family here, who provide social networks and are available to help support you (not necessarily financially), then the equation is rather different.

Coming to the US alone, (just you, or with only immediate family) on low income is generally a bad idea.

The Moose

First, I'm sorry to hear your father is ill

The biggest single costs of living here so far for me are healthcare insurance and rent.

The rent you can do something about by either living with others, selecting a cheaper location and just being Johnny-on-the-spot and hustling somewhere to live.

The heathcare to an extent you can't.

I don't wish to be rude but when you say you're a low income family, at what level do you mean?

The reason I ask is that there are healthcare tax credits for people who earn between 100% and 400% of the Federal Poverty Level which really can help lower income families with their healthcare expenses. Also if you earn between certain dollar amounts (I forget what the numbers are off the top of my head) as I understand it, you can get an extra benefit that effectively reduces your out of pocket expenses.

Rete

Sorry to learn of your father's illness and your subsequent need to return to the US while UK is your home.

As a USC who has lived in the US, you know there is little in the way of safeguards for low income families in the US. And the little that there is would be means tested benefits that your husband cannot avail himself of. For those reasons, perhaps it would be best for you and your family to remain in the UK where you have some protections that you won't have in the US.

No way to ask this without sounding crass but is your father's chronic illness a long term illness or one that will end in his death within a year or so? Will he need to be placed in an assisted living home, or in hospice, or in a nursing home soon as his need for 24/7 hour care increases? Will you be able to assist your father, and your sister, by taking him into your home and providing the necessary care he needs? Or will he have to remain at your sister's home until he requires to be moved to a medical care facility? These are things that you need to ask yourself as taking up residence in the US for such a limited time seems wrong as you and the family love living in the UK, have had no plans to live in the US before this, and your residing in the US will mean additional financial and emotional hardship to our family. I'm sure that your dad loves you dearly but he must want the best for you and your young family. Would he really want you to up sticks because of him?

aless02

You're voicing all the thoughts in my head, Rete. At the moment, the situation changes week to week which also makes it difficult to make a decision (though he highly likely would not die within 1-2 years). I know no one else can make this decision for us, I was also posting to see if anyone else had moved for similar/related circumstances. Thanks for all the considerations - it does help to have outsiders give an objective perspective.

Nutmegger

Have you obtained UK citizenship? If not, it would be a good idea to do so before heading back, otherwise you could end up at square one on UK immigration if you decide that you want to return to the UK eventually.

vikingsail

As I was reading your original post all the points Rete makes came into my mind. One point of view to weigh up is that it my be much less upheaval on your young family if you are able to commit to regular trips to the US. This at first sight may seem costly but compared to the cost of moving to the US, setting up and maintaining a home here I think the cost is comparable if not less. Perhaps utilizing some of those savings mentioned.

I am sorry to hear of your circumstances and your fathers illness. As expats where ever we are, it is a likely inevitable circumstance we will all face with aging parents for those of us lucky enough to still have them around.

kodokan

It is a tough call. Another thing to consider is whether you're likely to end up in the reversed situation on the other side of the Atlantic, if your husband has UK-based parents who may need care at some point.

Pulaski

If you're living in cheap housing and/or in a poor part of town in the UK you are unlikely to be worried by gun fire and the risk of getting shot. You cannot always say the same thing about low cost neighbourhoods in the US.

SanDiegogirl

What does your husband do for a living? Knowing that maybe the forum can give some indication of what range of income you would be looking at?

.... and where in the US would you be intending to move to?