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L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Old Feb 8th 2016, 4:09 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Hi rbackhouse, Asheville 28803.
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Old Feb 8th 2016, 4:20 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by MilosMummy View Post
Hi rbackhouse, Asheville 28803.
Ok, can't help you much with Ashville. I'm in the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill in central NC.

As far as meeting people etc http://www.meetup.com/ is generally recommended as a good starting point. They have quite a few British Expat groups in many areas if that interests you but also many other types of groups too.
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Old Feb 8th 2016, 5:01 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by MilosMummy View Post
Thanks Nutmegger, sounds like a good plan. Actually there were some numbers for brokers on the link that Kins sent me. So between you, you've got us in the right direction and less wading through treacle ! Feel better already ! Anyone in the NC area ? How do you go about making new friends without befriending everyone, some of your stories about relocation would be great if you're happy to share ?
Getting used to what "in the area" means in the US, and specifically NC, is going to be one of your challenges. NC is, by British standards, huge, 600 miles and 9 hours driving from one end to the other, and Asheville is fairly remote from most of the main population centres in NC. Ashville has a population of only about 85,000, so is about half the size of Harrogate, though the "metropolitan area" of Asheville, including satellite cities has population of about 425,000. Rural NC is, to be polite, .... er, .... not very sophisticated. It is also heavily armed, with more guns per capita than Texas! (In fairness, contrary to popular belief, Texas ranks only mid-table in the guns-per-capita basis).

The nearest city of any consequence is Hickory, and that is over an hour's drive away (70 miles), and has only half the population of Asheville. There isn't much of anything in Hickory other than furniture shops, including a four storey mall comprising only furniture shops! Charlotte is another hour (50 miles) beyond Hickory, and to be honest is barely worth the effort of getting there.

FWIW I have lived in NC for 13 years.

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Old Feb 8th 2016, 5:10 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
.... There isn't much of anything in Hickory other than furniture shops, including a four storey mall comprising only furniture shops! ....
Now that's something I have to check out
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Old Feb 9th 2016, 5:07 am
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by MilosMummy View Post
Hi rbackhouse, Asheville 28803.
In case you haven't done this yet:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asheville,_North_Carolina
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 6:41 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by rbackhouse View Post
Ok, can't help you much with Ashville. I'm in the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill in central NC.

As far as meeting people etc http://www.meetup.com/ is generally recommended as a good starting point. They have quite a few British Expat groups in many areas if that interests you but also many other types of groups too.
Hi, rbackhouse, I was excited to see that there is another forum member in our area! We currently live near Saxapahaw (west of Chapel Hill), but are planning to move to Carrboro next month. Are you near Jordan Lake?

To OP: aren't you lucky to be headed to Asheville! Not that I've been there, but I have heard only praise. It does seem a beautiful and interesting place to be. Good luck! May I just say that if you do end up here pregnant and having difficulties with insurance, a home birth could prove cheaper for you if that is something you are willing to go for.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 6:53 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by snufkinette View Post
Hi, rbackhouse, I was excited to see that there is another forum member in our area! We currently live near Saxapahaw (west of Chapel Hill), but are planning to move to Carrboro next month. Are you near Jordan Lake?
I'm in Apex which is a few miles east of Jordan Lake.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by snufkinette View Post
Hi, rbackhouse, I was excited to see that there is another forum member in our area! We currently live near Saxapahaw (west of Chapel Hill), but are planning to move to Carrboro next month. Are you near Jordan Lake?

To OP: aren't you lucky to be headed to Asheville! Not that I've been there, but I have heard only praise. It does seem a beautiful and interesting place to be. Good luck! May I just say that if you do end up here pregnant and having difficulties with insurance, a home birth could prove cheaper for you if that is something you are willing to go for.
Home births in NC are legally very dubious, though Asheville is the sort of place where you might find a few supporters for home births. ..... But a home birth as a 42-43 year old is not a low-risk matter and finding support for a home birth at that age might be rather difficult, combined with the fact that if there are complications during the birth, the cost of getting to hospital and additional risk and cost of the delay of getting to hospital could add considerable to the cost of the birth.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 7:12 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Home births in NC are legally very dubious, though Asheville is the sort of place where you might find a few supporters for home births. ..... But a home birth as a 42-43 year old is not a low-risk matter and finding support for a home birth at that age might be rather difficult, combined with the fact that if there are complications during the birth, the cost of getting to hospital and additional risk and cost of the delay of getting to hospital could add considerable to the cost of the birth.
I know, she should just do what the good doctor tells her and get a nice easy little caesarian..... cute little scar, "downstairs" not affected at all, and the doctor can fit it in when it suits him/her.

In case you hadn't guessed, I am appalled at the number of women who get emotionally blackmailed into "reducing risk" by having a caesarian. Home births can go wrong but so do plenty of hospital ones. Saying that, the leading criterion for decision making should never be financial.

About a million of my neighbours have had babies in the last year, cost with insurance seems to run about $1500-$2000 for normal hospital delivery.

I moved whilst pregnant once and I'm not sure I'd advise it.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 7:13 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by rbackhouse View Post
I'm in Apex which is a few miles east of Jordan Lake.
I wondered because I have spent a little time near the lake, and the mailing address was Apex. Hope you are enjoying life over there.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 7:16 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Home births in NC are legally very dubious, though Asheville is the sort of place where you might find a few supporters for home births. ..... But a home birth as a 42-43 year old is not a low-risk matter and finding support for a home birth at that age might be rather difficult, combined with the fact that if there are complications during the birth, the cost of getting to hospital and additional risk and cost of the delay of getting to hospital could add considerable to the cost of the birth.
Oh, I am well aware of the difficulties of a legal home birth in NC, having looked into it myself! However, the main requirement is that the midwife is a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) with a backup OB. Yes, it is true that some might consider home birth risky for an "older mother" (sorry to use the term, which I dislike), but thought I'd throw the idea out there for a lady who sounded anxious about insurance, something I can understand. We do not know anything about her previous birth or any health conditions, so I didn't want to presume that a home birth was unwise for her. Cheers.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 7:23 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by petitefrancaise View Post
..... I am appalled at the number of women who get emotionally blackmailed into "reducing risk" by having a caesarian. ....
Me too, though I am somewhat on the fence over the advisability of home births. I just wanted to be sure that the OP knows that NC is definitely not a "midwife state", and what that means.

In NC and some other states the medical profession has cajoled the state legislature to push homebirths into a legally dubious grey area. A properly regulated and trained midwife cadre could provide a useful and safe service, but in NC there is no such thing, you either go the hospital route or you "wing it". Much as home births are a good idea, you need the right, trained support and that only exists informally in NC.
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Old Feb 10th 2016, 7:30 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by snufkinette View Post
I wondered because I have spent a little time near the lake, and the mailing address was Apex. Hope you are enjoying life over there.
Yes, very much so. Nearly 20 years now. My has it grown
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Old Feb 14th 2016, 4:58 am
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by petitefrancaise View Post
I know, she should just do what the good doctor tells her and get a nice easy little caesarian..... cute little scar, "downstairs" not affected at all, and the doctor can fit it in when it suits him/her.

In case you hadn't guessed, I am appalled at the number of women who get emotionally blackmailed into "reducing risk" by having a caesarian. Home births can go wrong but so do plenty of hospital ones. Saying that, the leading criterion for decision making should never be financial.
LOL - not advising a home birth is very much different than recommending a C-section. Most hospital births do not involve C-sections. I don't see any suggesting the criteria for deciding should be financial, but it seems you also don't think it should be based on medical advice, judging by your derisive comment about the "good doctor".
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Old Feb 14th 2016, 1:18 pm
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Default Re: L2 to North Carolina, possibly pregnant at 42

Originally Posted by augigi View Post
LOL - not advising a home birth is very much different than recommending a C-section. Most hospital births do not involve C-sections. .....
Agreed but IIRC, about 30% of hospital births in the US turn into C-sections, and can do so at any time during labour, at very short notice and when the mother has neither the information nor the state of mind to counter-argue.
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