gypsygirl

Hi, Im new here. We are realising we really dont want to be here (in the USA), but family keep telling us not to go back to the Uk. I would really appreciate some feedback!
They tell us the place has gone really bad since we left several years ago and now they are scareing us with stories of mass European immigrants bombarding the country and taking over etc etc. I dont know how true it is, or if they just dont want us to go back lol
I want to make the right choice and stick by it, but right now we are having trouble deciding. Im going quite mad with it all
Plus we are really skint and there is 50c to every uk pound, which makes it impossible to save anything useful for moving back. We havent been back since we moved here and Im wondering if we could just be homesick, but that doesnt take the problems away. I could go on for days about the problems here lol
Help !

britvic

No it's not for all...... the life over here. Welcome to BE though

limeynus

You don't say too much about what it is in the USA that makes you unhappy. However, I've heard some similar information regarding the UK. But I think it boils down to your own feelings and where you think YOu'd be happiest. I do have an acquantance that returned to England last year after 20 years in the US and I know that she's regretting the decision.

All I can really say is do your homework, base your decisions on your own feelings, take into account what others are telling you, but don't let it be the deciding factor.

I know that we all feel homesick at certain times, but if this is something you feel most of the time - perhaps you should look into other countries - Aus? NZ, etc.

Good luck!

Dawn

nxylas

I think almost every immigrant goes through a stage of this. Based on my own experience, all I can say is stick with it, things do get better. Moving to a new country is a wrench for anyone, but you do adjust eventually, and whilst life is never free of problems, after a while, they don't seem quite so overwhelming.

Ruslan124

Why do you not want to stay here. If you listed what you did not like, you could compare that list with what would change if you went back to the UK.

It would also be useful to know what your current status in the US is. My answer to you may be different depending upon if you were a GC holder or just here on a Visa. If you leave when you are a non immigrant, it will be difficult to come back. If you have a GC then you at least have some leeway in coming back to the US if it turned out you had made a mistake. Before you abandon the US, at least see if you can find a way to get back to the UK for a week or two and use what you learn to help you decide.

britvic

Dont you think after seven year's you would know if your ever going to really like it.

TouristTrap

All I can say is that quite a few have returned from the US in the last couple of years and seem to be doing very well.

gypsygirl

Thanks for the replies. I wouldnt know where to start describing the problems! Its mainly lack of money and US red tape I guess. We have 4 kids, 2 are teens and we cant afford anything. We came here after years of trying really hard and did want to be here. Its such a shock to find out we dont like it. We are on the work visa for now, they are just starting the green card off. Dh has a good job for a big company and we have a nice house, so I feel guilty that we arent happy sometimes. But we are very isolated and broke.
Ive heard it can be a stage, I just seem to be going mad thinking about it. We go through phases of thinking we want to stay and we will try and make it all work, but then we go back to wanting to leave. Lately Ive just wanted to get on a plane and leave everything here. I just dont know what to do. I really couldnt face another country now and going through all this again, we had thought of Italy, but dont want the hassle. We just want to be settled.
We havent seen family since we moved over, as we cant afford the flights and neither can they.
We did make lots of lists and they pretty much canceled each other out, so it ended up even

britvic

Where are you now & what do the kid's think of may be returning ?

penguinsix

Well, you've made a list and that is a good start. It shows that you are trying to look at this somewhat rationally as compared to those who are just 'I can't stand it I want to flee'. I think as part of that list you should also consider 'what would get better' and 'what would be worse' if you moved back, not just 'which is better or worse now'. Check out the moving back forums that are here. There are happy campers and horror stories.

It's rough being away from family, and despite most peoples' complaints about money and language and culture and whatnot, I really think the family can be the toughest one to deal with (and the one that is basically impossible to fix no matter where you are).

I know it is a poor substitute, but I've found Vonage/Skype for free calls and webcam chats do a bit to help ease that pain. I hooked my mother up with a webcam when I was overseas and she ended up using it with her sister a few time zones away. "We became best friends again thanks to the camera" she once told me--"it was like I rediscovered my family." That probably explains why I could never get ahold of her when I was trying to chat.

While not directly on point, I'd also suggest checking out the homesickness boards on UKYankees--these are expat Americans living in the UK feeling upset with their decision. While not directly an answer to your problems, it is pretty useful in that you can identify problems that occur with all expats, not just yourself.

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=68.0

Good luck with your decision.

TouristTrap

How long have you lived here?

The entire GC process can be extremely taxing, especially as I assume you're an H4 and can't work?

gypsygirl

We lived in Manhattan and now are in rural NJ
They feel the same way, its so hard to make friends here. I think here they just stick to the friends they had growing up etc so dont consider making more.
We do have Vonage adn the webcam, they do help, but then I feel worse afterwards so dont tend to use it too much. Its hard as our parents are both older and my mum is a hermit so I worry about her.

Ill check out those boards thanks

gypsygirl

3 years and we are on a H1-b, no cant work but I had a baby here (more red tape!) so wouldnt work right now. I know the gc can take a long time, we were prepared for the wait. I think Im just not so sure its what we want and if its the best place for us.

Jerseygirl

Where do you live, how long have you been here and what visas are you on? If we know a little more about you we may be able to help instead of guessing.

I don't understand the 50c to the GBP...there are $2 to 1GBP.

Most of us on here have been a similar situation to yourself...we know what it's like to desperately want to go home.

gypsygirl

Thats what I meant LOL