Originally Posted by worldtrekker

... could you spend a bit of time over there within the 3-month tourist visa, checking things out for yourself (perhaps in the summer vacation with your daughter, if you were able to sort her visa)?

Originally Posted by Phoodilicious

Just pitching in my humble opinion since moving to the US 2 years ago (L1A visa, intra company transfer), my company relocated me, my husband and household, pets etc first to Fort Worth in Texas. The southerners are known for their warmth and hospitality and we did find it relatively easy to make friends BUT this was not the neighbours but the fact we went to a local bar regularly and there was a Brit contingent already there! We made some friends with Americans too and people were very friendly on the surface but no more so than going to a friendly country pub in many parts of the UK. I also made friends at work but for you working on your own and probably not being so freely able to go out in the evenings with your child care requirements etc I am not sure how you would go about making "bosom pals" rather than friendly acquaintances.

We then were moved again 14 months later to southern California and the folks here we have met have been friendly but again not so much neighbours but going to a local bar, joining the clubhouse at our HOA, putting ourselves "out there". People are welcoming, friendly on a fairly superficial level for the most part with few "real" friends so far. I am not convinced you will find things much different in terms of the ability to make friends here than it would be in various parts of the UK. Not trying to be a damper just giving our own realistic view from the past 2 years. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Originally Posted by worldtrekker

Hi Libby,

Going back to your initial question about friendly places to move to in the States, a good way to connect socially is often through existing family or friends. Do you know anyone in the States and, if you do, could you spend a bit of time over there within the 3-month tourist visa, checking things out for yourself (perhaps in the summer vacation with your daughter, if you were able to sort her visa)? It might help you find some answers and, as some of the other respondents have said and I’m sure you already know, living in a place is very different to being there on vacation.

Visiting for a bit longer might help you judge better whether you’d like it long term. And who knows, if you’re *really* lucky or have some in-demand skills, you might even meet someone through contacts who offers you a job, though of course they’d also have to be willing to sort out an employment visa for you. (This used to mean they also have to prove that they’ve tried and failed to recruit a US citizen for the position, though I’m not sure what the current situation is).

Another option, if you’re willing to travel and have particular skills, might be the British Foreign Office; see what that might involve at https://www.gov.uk/government/organi...ut/recruitment (I’m not sure whether that would work with your daughter).

There’s also a good website that focuses on US immigration that you might find useful at http://www.immihelp.com/.

Myself, I’m a dual citizen and have lived for several years in the UK and the States, as well as many other continents and countries. As a character, I’m very friendly and used to bonding quickly with all sorts of people; however, it still took me many years to make real friends in Boston MA, and easily as much time as in the UK – it’s not called New England for nothing! And as in any place, all too often the people who were quickest to be friendly ended up being either insincere or the people I ended up wanting to get away from fastest!

It sounds like you’ve been through a pretty rough time with your marriage and might be quite vulnerable just now. I don’t mean to patronise you there; as you’ve pointed out, these are just your initial investigations and you’re being careful to research as much as you can.

I haven’t been to Kentucky but I do have US friends who’ve lived and worked there, recently and for years, who say the people are really genuine and friendly. It’s a relatively poor state, but that means it’s also pretty cheap to live.

Apologies for such a long posting, but I hope some of what I’ve said here is useful. And best of luck, whatever you decide.

Originally Posted by Noorah101

I believe she and her daughter can both travel on the VWP, for a 90-day visit to the USA. No visa required.

Rene

Originally Posted by Libby75

It's not really a case of having an issue with the entire UK re making friends at all, more the knoweldge that there are significant cultural differences in different areas of the world.

The Brits are great people, but culturally keep themselves to themselves. Friends exist but it is superficial and there is certainly no obvious culture of warm communities.

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills

I would suggest making a list of what you want/need out of a place to live and then travel the UK (or even the rest of Europe) to find a more suitable place to live with your child.
Your complaint about friends being superficial is one I hear over and over about the US, so chances are that will not change. If friends don't come easy to you, then that is probably you that needs to change not the location, if you have problems with that in UK chances are you will here too. Only to add to it, here you would be the foreigner/immigrant. I've lived in the same community here for 20 years and I'm still "that Mom with the accent", at the local school, I have a lots of nice friends, and only two that I would call at 2am in an emergency even then I'd hesitate, and I make friends very easily in UK.
Not trying to be mean, just trying to be realistic.
This is no place to be alone with a child.

Originally Posted by fatbrit

I know it's not what the OP wants to hear, but plying her with advice on where to live in the USA is not good for her since she has still written nothing that makes any rational person who understands US immigration believe she has a hope in hell of living and working in the USA at this time.

Makes about as much sense as searching the web for your next pad in Beverly Hills. If you're doing it for fantasy's sake, all well and good. If you're serious about it but have no prospect of a million dollar income, you have serious issues.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

Difficult isn't it? You don't want to crush someone's hopes and dreams...but you don't want to lead them on either.

Originally Posted by fatbrit

Yep -- it's difficult. I hate those threads that start asking where to move the family to in the USA, and then 20 pages later we discover Kevin is a Corgi gas fitter from Nuneaton and Deidre is a receptionist at the local docs.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Things like this don't help:

http://britishexpats.com/articles/us...-quality-life/

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Things like this don't help:

http://britishexpats.com/articles/us...-quality-life/

Originally Posted by fatbrit

Yep -- it's difficult. I hate those threads that start asking where to move the family to in the USA, and then 20 pages later we discover Kevin is a Corgi gas fitter from Nuneaton and Deidre is a receptionist at the local docs.