gingerliu

I wasn't asking ANYONE TO MAKE THE DECISION FOR ME. Jeez! I've NEVER ASKED ANYONE TO MAKE ANY DECISIONS ON MY LIFE. I JUST CAME ON THIS FORUM TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM AND TO CHAT ABOUT IT.

I MADE THE DECISION TO MOVE TO LONDON. TO MOVE TO CHICAGO. TO MOVE TO SAN FRANCISCO. TO MOVE TO LA.

I AM NOT ASKING ANYONE ON THIS FORUM TO MAKE MY DECISIONS FOR ME. THAT DISCUSSION IS A PRIVATE TALK BETWEEN ME AND MY FAMILY. I THOUGHT FORUMS WERE PLACES TO CHAT ABOUT STUFF AND TO SEE IF OTHERS HAD SIMILAR STORIES.


I'M A 40 YEAR OLD BIG GIRL WHO HAS DONE PRETTY DAMN WELL FOR HERSELF, ON HER OWN, MAKING MY OWN DECISIONS ABOUT MY LIFE.

I JUST WANTED TO CHAT. I DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE BLASTED LIKE I WAS A TEENAGE GIRL.

Lord Lionheart

Been here 21 years. Have had constant feelings of doubt. I envy the people who move and say 'I'll never move back, never had a good relationship with my family and never miss them, best thing I ever did' etc. etc.

Sally Redux

I think Ray's comments are meant to be helpful. I miss a lot of things about England and am often in danger of falling into traps of negativity. It's better really if people give you a kick up the behind.

gingerliu

Thankyou Lionheart.

So I guess it never goes away. We are always from somewhere else. I spoke to my aunt and she's 84 and spent the first quarter of her life in China. Then she moved to the USA and even though she has children and grandchildren and she is a Professor, she still feels she belongs elsewhere and she missed family.

There are many Brits in Santa Monica. Do you mix a lot?

I'll follow my gut. I think what will happen is that I will get being home with the family out of my system and then I'll return to the beaches here in LA. I think I'm feeling this way because it has been a long time since seeing the family. I love California. I expect I will live my dying days here and travel back and forth to the UK as much as I can.

gingerliu

I think Ray is wrong.

I don't need a kick up the butt. I'm doing really well, thank you. I'm just missing my family. And I stupidly thought that I would get an intelligent reply from others who find it hard to live half way across the world away from family. Every person I have spoken to who is from another country, miss family but love America. I didn't imagine I'd be called "whining" for missing my aging mother. Wow. You really are insensitive. Maybe when your father is dead and you worry that your mother will cope alone, then maybe you can "whine" about it. ASSHOLE!

Sally Redux

Are you talking to me or Ray?

Lord Lionheart

I used to mix a lot with the Brits in Santa Monica, having been here a long time I find LA very transient. People come and go, you make freinds and then they leave. Many people I knew have moved on/settled down/returned to the UK or other States.
So don't feel too bad I have no friends, family or career

gingerliu

I was talking to Ray.

bromleygirl

From one that has done what you are contemplating because of the pull of family I will tell you that for me it has been a dissapointment.

I spent 8 years in the States and at the time of my divorce I had family and friends advising me to move back to the UK, my parents putting a guilt trip on me for missing their grandchildren etc. So I moved back and probably within the first few weeks realised I had made a huge mistake. I decided to stick it out as I already had a job and accomodation securred and did not want to return to Minnesota.

4 plus years later I am planning my return for next summer - to California! I have suffered from SAD while here, the weather is windy, wet and miserable, there is a lot more litter and dog poo than I remember there ever being, people are cynical and judgemental and worst of all the fact that while family and friends are there for you when you come home to visit when you actually do return to live here they are all so busy with their own lives and have moved on that you hardly see them. Oh and if hear one more person saying "ah bless" I think I will scream!!

What I can suggest for you is try and obtain your citizenship - I did this before I left and I am so glad that I did. Try if you can to visit the UK before making a final decision as this may be a real eye opener for you. Look at what opportunities there are there for you in the States and how you can expand your network of friends. Ask yourself why you moved to the States in the first place...

gingerliu

Aha, Mr. Lionheart.

Lord Lionheart

Just curious. Do you live in Hollywood? What type of business you are in? Are you actually ginger

Sally Redux

Wow bromleygirl that's food for thought. I'm definitely guilty of romanticising everything over there and how great it would be with family and old friends, truth is our family is not close at all and it's really just a kind of nostalgia. Recently spoke to an old school friend who has always lived in Essex near all her family, it all sounded so lovely...

gingerliu

Ah bless, Bromley Girl.

I have incredible guilt for staying away from my aging mum and I feel totally out of the loop with my siblings and their grown children. I never imagined I'd only see them every few years. But they have NEVER told me to move back and in fact they didn't believe me when I said I wanted to return next year because I miss them. Although they miss me they accepted that it's my life. So who has the problem here? Yes of course it's me. I need to accept it. I have to get over the guilt of not seeing my mother because I made the decision to be elsewhere. I have guilt because I want to spend time with her before she kicks the can, whenever that will be. If she knew I was coming home because I thought she may demise soon, she'd kill me and tell me not to return. She may have another 20 years left but I can't get over this silly guilt. I also miss the unconditional love of the family. We are close knit, despite me being away and independent. I think you are right though. I think when I return, I'll regret it after a few months. I have done so much in California. It's amazing how important weather is.

Welcome to California!

I'm actually a dual national. I can live in both countries. I guess the big thing is that I'm looking to share my life with someone, and at the moment I'm sharing my life via weekly phonecalls to the family. If I was married, I wouldn't be having this conversation. I'm always on the move. I never settle down.

Noorah101

The OP is already a dual citizen.

Sally Redux

LL seems interested