gingerliu

I have lived in the USA for six years and I now live in sunny Hollywood. I'm doing the work I've always wanted to do but I left my heart in the UK. I miss my family, my mum, my brother and sister and my nieces. I try and convince myself that I really want to move back to grey skies and a small town and I think of the advantages of healthcare, the familiar culture, and family support. I love California but every weekend I feel empty and my heart aches. I wish that my family were here because there is so much to do here and the sunshine is great but without family, I feel lonely and unconnected. Career and friends are not enough, family is all that matters. So I told my mum I was moving back to England next year but I worry about work and I worry about not fitting in to the UK and getting SAD from the lack of sun. I worry that I will be bored as hell living in a small town. Ideally I would like to live in both countries and will try and do that. I worry about getting old. Family are supportive and I feel safe with them around despite my independence. I worry about no healthcare in the USA. I have no healthcare right now. I worry that I will miss California so much that I will be angry to live with in the UK. I worry that if I return to England it means I have to settle down. On the other side of the coin, all the time that I've been in the USA I haven't made any plans or commitments because I think I won't be here long. I truly believe I'd be much more successful in my career if I thought I was living in the USA forever. My mum is getting old and it scares me not to be around. It scares me not to be around my siblings and knowing what's going on and being part of their lives. Nothing is more important than family. I love it in California. This isn't fair.

zarya

A tip for you good sir, make sure you attain your citizenship in the US before you move back. Then you can move around as you please and not having to worry about loosing your LPR.

Good luck with your decision, my guess is that you have to consider and evaluate this hard. Major ups vs major downs in both countries.


Your choice.

DeanUK2US

A lot of it looks like you're worrying an aweful lot about what might not happen. Take a step back and maybe tell your family your concerns as they know you best. Reflect on the good and bad times that you had in hollywood and why you left the UK.

You might already be in the best situation for everyone.

lisa67

Sorry you're feeling so down and uncertain about what to do. My Mum and Dad have just flown back to the UK and every time they go I wonder if staying here is the right thing to do....but I have kids who have settled in here so it's a bit different. Maybe voicing your concerns on the MBUK forum might help. People on there are either moving back or have moved back and may be able to give you some more insight.
Good Luck with your decision....it's a tough one. Just remember that the grass isn't always greener.....

Ray

You made the same whine back in July
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showp...14&postcount=1

Make up your bleedin mind ..we ain't gonna do it for you ...

In fact I will ..Go back ..then you can whine about that then ..
But at least it will be different

NC Penguin

To the OP: you talk about family being in the UK. Do you have family here, in the US? A spouse, partner? If you're on your own in the US, then you would miss the family back in the UK even more.

Ignore Ray. He's the proverbial grumpy old man.

notacrime

Haha, yeah. Reading this forum can be pretty hard going at times, it seems a lot of expats turn to the forums when they are homesick.

I'll weigh in on this topic though. Moved back to Scotland last October from San Francisco. Pretty keen to get back to California at this point (which I will be doing in August.) I second zarya - if you choose to leave then get your citizenship if possible before you do. That's a process you could start now (assuming you are eligible) and it might help focus your mind on what's important.

Mandana

A bit harsh? True, but harsh!

gingerliu

I'm a dual national. I just wanted to know if anyone else was returning home for family even though they loved living in the USA. I'm not homesick for the country, I miss the family. And yes, I have to make big decisions because I would not be returning for any other reason but the family. It would be different if I was married over here.

gingerliu

I don't appreciated a comment like Ray's. I'm at the end of my tether here. My mum is 78 and if I go home to be with my mum, I'd be giving up my life here in the Hollywood. But if I stay and continue to think of myself then I have to live with the fact that I can only see my mum perhaps once every three years because it's so expensive for me to travel. This is a big deal for me which is why I'm on this forum to see if anyone else has gone through the same thing.

Ray -go to hell!

Ray

Well dont keep bitching about it ...

DO SOMETHING

Its your life ..your decision....

Ray

coopa_troopa

I understand you. I've been exactly where you are, torn between staying here and going back because of missing out on family life.

I too have elderly parents, and they can't visit me here. I also have a little grandson who is growing up without me around.

I used to wake up every morning with a dark cloud hanging over me, wishing I could turn back time. But after nearly 3 years, I gave myself a good talking to, knowing if I didn't make a decision one way or the other, my own life would pass me by, and I'd be forever miserable.

So, I'm still here. I made some changes in my life, and started to appreciate what I have rather than what I don't have. And now, finally, I feel much more settled.

I guess what I'm trying to say is.....there's only you can decide where you want to be, and for what reasons. And once you make that decision, you will be able to move on.

Good luck wherever you decide to be

Noorah101

Different scenario for me, I'm a USC living in the USA, but I had the opportunity to work outside the USA once. I got as far as the job offer in writing, almost all done, and it would have been a great adventure and way to see a part of the world I'd always wanted to see.

But in the long run, I turned it down, because I could not feel right about leaving my parents alone for a year at a time (the job allowed a once-a-year trip back to the USA, the contract was for 3 years). My parents were just beginning to be elderly, I was the only child living close to them, and they relied heavily on me. I would have never forgiven myself if I had been halfway around the world when they got sick or hospitalized or heaven forbid, pass away. I decided not to take the overseas job, and I didn't regret my decision to stay near my parents. They ended up needing me after all.

Rene

Jerseygirl

Many of us have elderly relatives in the UK...my mum is 88...and yes it is difficult. You are the only one who can make the decision to go or to stay. Like Ray said...do something about it either way.