Jerseygirl

I take JD to mean they won't have experienced life in the UK.

southern comfort

No they have not they are americans thats what happens when you emmigrate to new country, they learn from those of us who left what life was like back when we lived there.

southern comfort

They also ask "WHY did you move" we all have different answers to that question I am sure

Jerseygirl

I realise that...but no matter what you teach your children/grandchildren it's not the same as experiencing it ie living in the UK...that's what I took JD to mean.

jumping doris

I am back from my trail ride.
What I meant was.....it was an issue that upset me when I was at a low ebb. I felt I had changed the course of my family's history and heritage and I didn't know if I had done the right thing.
I know that when you move to another country you rationally understand that your children and their children etc will become part of their new country but when you are down and homesick, you look at things in a different way.

I was trying to help another poster by saying I had felt the same and that I understood and that as you become more settled over time certain issues that seemed so upsetting and important, fade.

I am glad that some people make the move and are instantly happy, but others don't. Just because they find something hard to cope with initially doesn't mean they never will like it here.
But when they are having difficult times and are not liking it here...they are allowed to say so.

southern comfort

yes they are of course. but when we move we cannot expect it to be what we left ......and the reasons for doing so

jumping doris

I don't think anyone expects to move to a different country and find it's the same as the one they left and most people don't plan or want to feel unhappy.
But they do and most people get through it.
I couldn't wait to get here, admittedly Pittsburgh wasn't in our plans ,and I was really unprepared for how isolated I would feel...we have no family here and didn't know a soul anywhere in the US.

However 20 months on, we have loads of friends, do lots of stuff but at the beginning it wasn't like that and I didn't think it ever would be...at that time.

Manti

we live in a big city, but i still feel SO lonely, even though i have my husband here, which makes me feel a bit guilty that he's not enough for me.
I miss my family a lot, friends all what I left..
I hope that my visit home will show me that I belong here now..but what if it won't?I hope that it's only a reaction of my body to all the changes and it'll go away soon.
sorry guys for being so deppressive, just having hard week/month

Jerseygirl

I feel for you. I often think Doris reflects what I went through...only she's coped a lot better than I did.

May I suggest you read through some of the threads in the Moving Back to UK forums? Read as far back as you can...it will give you some insight how many are going/have been through similar emotions and how they've coped...or in some cases haven't coped.

southern comfort

same here, it was just the two of us back then, but things started to feel better once our kids came we were then a family

southern comfort

I have been there done that I also came from the UK

Jerseygirl

I know you did. Do you go back to visit?

jumping doris

I think 10 months is a a bit of a watershed. Novelty has worn off and nothing has yet begun to replace all the holes left by leaving your old life.

Do you have any hobbies that could get you out and part of a group?
Do you/ can you work?
I can't work on my visa and that has been harder than I expected as I used to run my own business.
I joined everything and went to everything I was invited to. It was hard and sometimes jaw droppingly boring but I got to know people.
I went to the library a lot until eventually they recognised me. I also went to the Starbucks in our Barnes and Noble everyday and they started to recognise me. Silly small things but it did help.
I drove around a lot and found new places to walk the dog or take the kids.
I talked to everyone.

It is hard and there were days when I sat at the computer and looked at images of home and wept. (I think it is better to let it all out.)
And then I would tell myself to pull myself together. I can say that to me but god help anyone else who does and I would try and find something great about the day.
For me it has got better but I know for some it doesn't.

southern comfort

Not as much now that my parents have gone..... they were "Home"

Jerseygirl

I can understand that...

When our parents pass...I only have my sister and 2 nieces. My husband has an unmarried sister.

Funny old life being an expat isn't it? Neither one thing or the other.