How long to keep trying?
Nov 14th 2004 | 10:48 am
#1
Thread Starter
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 533
From: Millington, TN
How long to keep trying?
It's ittle miss indecisive me again! 
I read with great interest the thread about liking/not liking living here. As the weeks/months have gone by and I've reacted to situations around me, my opinion on living here has changed on a somewhat daily basis! Although lately, I am hating living here more each day.
I don't know when the switch was flipped, because I went through a phase earlier this year when I was just grateful to have hte opportunity that I do - but now I am seriously considering, once and for all, throwing the towel in.
The biggest issue for me (and no offence meant to anyone) is that I have never met such insincere, fake people in my whole life. Maybe I am generalizing too much, and just made poor choices, not quite sure on that one. I too am sick of the long working week, non existent vacation time (yeah so much for enjoying all the wonderful sights I was going to see in my first year! if it wasn't for some of the wonderful people on this site, I wouldnt have gotten past the South LOL) and the insular, so far up their own arses attitude in general. Yes, I know that it's different, and that I should try and embrace the changes and live with it - after all it was my choice to come here but it's bloody hard some days. I have a colleague in work who won't even talk to me now since I made it clear in a discussion one day that I certainly would not have voted for Bush, had I been eligible to vote!
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
I read with great interest the thread about liking/not liking living here. As the weeks/months have gone by and I've reacted to situations around me, my opinion on living here has changed on a somewhat daily basis! Although lately, I am hating living here more each day.
I don't know when the switch was flipped, because I went through a phase earlier this year when I was just grateful to have hte opportunity that I do - but now I am seriously considering, once and for all, throwing the towel in.
The biggest issue for me (and no offence meant to anyone) is that I have never met such insincere, fake people in my whole life. Maybe I am generalizing too much, and just made poor choices, not quite sure on that one. I too am sick of the long working week, non existent vacation time (yeah so much for enjoying all the wonderful sights I was going to see in my first year! if it wasn't for some of the wonderful people on this site, I wouldnt have gotten past the South LOL) and the insular, so far up their own arses attitude in general. Yes, I know that it's different, and that I should try and embrace the changes and live with it - after all it was my choice to come here but it's bloody hard some days. I have a colleague in work who won't even talk to me now since I made it clear in a discussion one day that I certainly would not have voted for Bush, had I been eligible to vote!
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
Nov 14th 2004 | 11:31 am
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,583
From: Waukee, Iowa
Re: How long to keep trying?
My wife and I are actively "looking" -- we haven't 100% decided yet -- at returning to Canada or even the UK. We've only been here five months.
Completely unimpressed by where we are now, as much as I laugh at it. The whole big houses/cars thing doesn't do it for us -- we've had all those things for years already and those things are no longer our primary concern in life.
Instead we're looking for things rather less tangible, like work satisfaction and a bit more of a laid back atmosphere (hence our beach move). But we now know we aren't going to find those things here because the work atmosphere is so aggressive and frankly quite poisonous. No-one here seems...well...happy.
My thoughts are maybe 5 years ago, when I was a lot more aggressively career-oriented, the US would have suited us much better. As it stands we were much more suited to Canada, despite the cold.
Completely unimpressed by where we are now, as much as I laugh at it. The whole big houses/cars thing doesn't do it for us -- we've had all those things for years already and those things are no longer our primary concern in life.
Instead we're looking for things rather less tangible, like work satisfaction and a bit more of a laid back atmosphere (hence our beach move). But we now know we aren't going to find those things here because the work atmosphere is so aggressive and frankly quite poisonous. No-one here seems...well...happy.
My thoughts are maybe 5 years ago, when I was a lot more aggressively career-oriented, the US would have suited us much better. As it stands we were much more suited to Canada, despite the cold.
Nov 14th 2004 | 12:38 pm
#3
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: How long to keep trying?
Sounds very much like my position..... when I was working in London.
Perhaps it all depends on where you live, I have yet to come across these attitudes, or not to a noticeable extent.
Probably also depends on where you live in UK or Canada.
It's a big country.
Perhaps it all depends on where you live, I have yet to come across these attitudes, or not to a noticeable extent.
Probably also depends on where you live in UK or Canada.
It's a big country.
Nov 14th 2004 | 2:03 pm
#4
Pagan Sex God
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3,668
From: Living in Oblivion
Re: How long to keep trying?
Until going home stops feeling like failure and starts feeling like the solution.
Last edited by Patrick; Nov 14th 2004 at 2:23 pm.
Nov 14th 2004 | 8:36 pm
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 2,894
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by Patrick
Until going home stops feeling like failure and starts feeling like the solution.
Nov 15th 2004 | 1:36 am
#6
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 11,061
From: North Carolina
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by Lesley1020
<<snip>>
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
I'd say it's taken me two years of living in the US and I'm living in the South of all places to start to feel like I've adapted to this country.
I've sought out people and groups that I have common links with since I can't related to the two common themes that bind people together in my area, e.g. church and family.
I tried looking for a church that might be a good fit but didn't find one (maybe I didn't try hard enough but five was enough and I don't feel I'm missing anything by not being a churchgoer despite hints from one particular friend and my husband's parents).
I've had to take proactive steps to carve myself a life in the US. It's taken time and having a job has helped.
Do you have any interests or passions that may introduce you to friends? Have you looked at www.meetup.com for interests and groups in your area? I belong to a handful of these Meetup groups including the British one in my area.
Whatever you do, you don't want to have regrets once you have taken the action...
NC Penguin
Nov 15th 2004 | 2:23 am
#7
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14
Re: How long to keep trying?
'since I can't related to the two common themes that bind people together in my area, e.g. church and family.'
We are also in NC (Charlotte) , been here for 6 months and feel really out of place and can relate to NC Penguins comments and the original poster.
Like a lot of Xpats the house prices back home and pitiful exchange rate may keep us here (in USA) longer than we want. Will try this meetup.com site though.
Karen
We are also in NC (Charlotte) , been here for 6 months and feel really out of place and can relate to NC Penguins comments and the original poster.
Like a lot of Xpats the house prices back home and pitiful exchange rate may keep us here (in USA) longer than we want. Will try this meetup.com site though.
Karen
Nov 15th 2004 | 2:45 am
#8
Just around the next bend
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,276
From: Missouri
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by Patrick
Until going home stops feeling like failure and starts feeling like the solution.
Nov 15th 2004 | 2:49 am
#9
Just around the next bend
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,276
From: Missouri
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by NC Penguin
I've sought out people and groups that I have common links with since I can't related to the two common themes that bind people together in my area, e.g. church and family.
<snip>
I've had to take proactive steps to carve myself a life in the US. It's taken time and having a job has helped.
NC Penguin
<snip>
I've had to take proactive steps to carve myself a life in the US. It's taken time and having a job has helped.
NC Penguin
Nov 15th 2004 | 3:03 am
#10
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 11,061
From: North Carolina
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by doctor scrumpy
Depends where you are in the US I guess. The secret to the US is to remember that it is not one country, but at least 50 different cultures rolled into one. The outlook on life in NY is totally different to the Mid-West, deep south or LA etc.
The US is so big (too big perhaps?), that if one state or region isn't to your liking, why not move elsewhere?
NC Penguin
Nov 15th 2004 | 3:53 am
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,494
From: CHELTENHAM, Gloucestershire, England
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by jpr
'since I can't related to the two common themes that bind people together in my area, e.g. church and family.'
We are also in NC (Charlotte) , been here for 6 months and feel really out of place and can relate to NC Penguins comments and the original poster.
Like a lot of Xpats the house prices back home and pitiful exchange rate may keep us here (in USA) longer than we want. Will try this meetup.com site though.
Karen
We are also in NC (Charlotte) , been here for 6 months and feel really out of place and can relate to NC Penguins comments and the original poster.
Like a lot of Xpats the house prices back home and pitiful exchange rate may keep us here (in USA) longer than we want. Will try this meetup.com site though.
Karen
Cheers guys
Nov 15th 2004 | 6:06 am
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 808
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by Lesley1020
It's ittle miss indecisive me again!
I read with great interest the thread about liking/not liking living here. As the weeks/months have gone by and I've reacted to situations around me, my opinion on living here has changed on a somewhat daily basis! Although lately, I am hating living here more each day.
I don't know when the switch was flipped, because I went through a phase earlier this year when I was just grateful to have hte opportunity that I do - but now I am seriously considering, once and for all, throwing the towel in.
The biggest issue for me (and no offence meant to anyone) is that I have never met such insincere, fake people in my whole life. Maybe I am generalizing too much, and just made poor choices, not quite sure on that one. I too am sick of the long working week, non existent vacation time (yeah so much for enjoying all the wonderful sights I was going to see in my first year! if it wasn't for some of the wonderful people on this site, I wouldnt have gotten past the South LOL) and the insular, so far up their own arses attitude in general. Yes, I know that it's different, and that I should try and embrace the changes and live with it - after all it was my choice to come here but it's bloody hard some days. I have a colleague in work who won't even talk to me now since I made it clear in a discussion one day that I certainly would not have voted for Bush, had I been eligible to vote!
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
I read with great interest the thread about liking/not liking living here. As the weeks/months have gone by and I've reacted to situations around me, my opinion on living here has changed on a somewhat daily basis! Although lately, I am hating living here more each day.
I don't know when the switch was flipped, because I went through a phase earlier this year when I was just grateful to have hte opportunity that I do - but now I am seriously considering, once and for all, throwing the towel in.
The biggest issue for me (and no offence meant to anyone) is that I have never met such insincere, fake people in my whole life. Maybe I am generalizing too much, and just made poor choices, not quite sure on that one. I too am sick of the long working week, non existent vacation time (yeah so much for enjoying all the wonderful sights I was going to see in my first year! if it wasn't for some of the wonderful people on this site, I wouldnt have gotten past the South LOL) and the insular, so far up their own arses attitude in general. Yes, I know that it's different, and that I should try and embrace the changes and live with it - after all it was my choice to come here but it's bloody hard some days. I have a colleague in work who won't even talk to me now since I made it clear in a discussion one day that I certainly would not have voted for Bush, had I been eligible to vote!
I am off back home to Glasgow on December 30th, so I guess the timing is good to have a think about things and see how I feel being back home, maybe its just a down moment, but the down moments seem to be lasting consistently longer. Before, my main consideration was being able to stay on my medication here, which incidentaly, they have approved (the drug company) for a further 3 yrs for $100 a year. Lately, I have been getting such bad side effects, and with such a low success rate am wondering if it is worth it to pay a lawyer my last pennies every month in the hope of staying on to get it.
I guess my question is - how long does everyone think you should reasonably give it before you throw the towel in and go back - and at least be able to conclude that you gave it a fair shot?
I would recommend that you move back to Glasgow with all due haste. America should be lived in only by those who are capable of adjusting to the different mindsets, personalities and political views exhibited by Americans. While I've never been to Glasgow, I can assume that everyone there will have the same mindset as your own. Everyone will hate Bush as you do, and no-one will come across as shallow or fake. Perhaps in time we Americans will come to think and act in accordance with British standards- we've got some nerve attempting to develop our own attitudes and dispostions with regards to leadership and national interests. We should attempt harmonize our views with those of our bretheren from across the pond with due haste. If we should fail to do so, may I recommed an immeadiate declaration of war on the US by the UK. We will be quite easy for you to defeat since- as Americans- we are much to lazy and shallow to stand up and fight for what we believe in. Once your victory over us is secure, you can begin a program of "purification" with regards to the American citizenry. That is, you will train us to think and behave the same as yourself. You will begin programs in cooperation with American public schools systems- these programs will be desinged to insure that American children will be taught to think and act as proper British subjects should, and should sevrve to discourage any type of independant thinking, ideals or attempting to find one's own beliefs rather than succumbing to those beliefs established for us by our British masters. Once we have been transformed into a proper British thinking society, you may again decide to move back to this side of the pond. And since the US will be a British conquered territory and subject to British rule, you will no longer need such trifles as Visas or green cards. You will simply be able pack and move as if moving to another part of the UK. And as a British citizen comming over to live in the US, you will enjoy "special" priviledges not accorded to ordinary American citizens under British rule. You will have fist dibs on healthcare, have special disounts on gas (petrol) not accorded to Americans and be able to cut in front of any American in que lines- whether at the cinema or shopping malls or eating establishments. Since we Americans will be a conquered people, we shall have no choice but to yield to our British rulers in such instances.
Yes indeed, all will soon be right with the world.
Last edited by Jabba1; Nov 15th 2004 at 6:15 am.
Nov 15th 2004 | 6:14 am
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14
Re: How long to keep trying?
WHAT A DIPSTICK...no wonder your hated throughout the universe
nuff said
nuff said
Originally Posted by Jabba1
I would recommend that you move back to Glasgow with all due haste. America should be lived in only by those who are capable of adjusting to the different mindsets, personalities and political views exhibited by Americans. While I've never been to Glasgow, I can assume that everyone there will have the same mindset as your own. Everyone will hate Bush as you do, and no-one will come across as shallow or fake. Perhaps in time we Americans will come to think and act in accordance with British standards- we've got some nerve attempting to develop our own attitudes and dispostions with regards to leadership and national interests. We should attempt harmonize our views with those of our bretheren from across the pond with due haste. If we should fail to do so, may I recommed and immeadiate declaration of war on the US by the UK (and particularly the Scottish). We will be quite easy for you to defeat since- as Americans- we are much to lazy and shallow to stand up and fight for what we believe in. Once your victory over us is secure, you can begin a program of "purification" with regards to the American citizenry. That is, you will train us to think and behave the same as yourself. You will begin programs in cooperation with American public schools systems- these programs will be desinged to insure that American children will be taught to think and act as proper British subjects should, and should sevrve to discourage any type of independant thinking, ideals or attempting to find one's own beliefs rather than succumbing to those beliefs established for us by our British masters. Once we have been transformed into a proper British thinking society, you may again decide to move back to this side of the pond. And since the US will be a British conquered territory and subject to British rule, you will no longer need such trifles as Visas or green cards. You will simply be able pack and move as if moving to another part of the UK. And as a British citizen comming over to live in the US, you will enjoy "special" priviledges not accorded to ordinary American citizens under British rule. You will have fist dibs on healthcare, have special disounts on gas (petrol) not accorded to Americans and be able to cut in front of any American in que lines- whether at the cinema or shopping malls or eating establishments. Since we Americans will be a conquered people, we shall have no choice but to yield to our British rulers in such instances.
Yes indeed, all will soon be right with the world.
Yes indeed, all will soon be right with the world.
Nov 15th 2004 | 6:20 am
#14
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 808
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by jpr
WHAT A DIPSTICK...no wonder your hated throughout the universe
nuff said
nuff said
Nov 15th 2004 | 8:21 am
#15
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 11,061
From: North Carolina
Re: How long to keep trying?
Originally Posted by Jabba1
If you will notice the smilies at the end of my post, you will realize that it was intended as a joke along the same lines as the "Open letter to the US" thread.
Jabba1:
Yet again, your humor is not coming across. One reason is that the post that you claim to be humorous is not original, i.e. of your own creation.
The contents of the post in question looks much like a "cut and paste" job than your own genuine humor.
No points for humor or originality, I'm afraid!
NC Penguin
