How long does it take to feel settled?
#31
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
Thanks for the replies. I admit the driving is definitely one of my hang-ups, which I am trying to get over as I will feel more relaxed if I can. Does anybody out there like LA?
#32
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Eskimo
By the way not sure what all the posters on here have against LA ? I wanted to live in civilisation. Unlike many on here I don't want to live in some humid and / or freezing shit-hole were the locals have family trees that are vertical and teeth are optional
I use to live an hour outside london and had the best of both worlds, lived in the country with London only a train ride away. That may be the thing to do here, if I can find such a place.
who cares if people dont like LA and you do, some people might not like LA because there is no Football team! My advice, don't sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things
#33
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Patrick
! My advice, don't sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things
I couldn't really give a crap if people like LA or not I was just a bit surprised at all these negative opinions to an OP who I believe needs a bit of help and moral support..
#34
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Patrick
I wouldnt take it personally, living somewhere is so subjective. I couldnt live in London, too much for me (which means NY and LA are probably out too). I dont mind the infrastructure of where I live now (I, in fact, love living near the beach and having a pool etc,) but cannot abide the (localised) culture.
I use to live an hour outside london and had the best of both worlds, lived in the country with London only a train ride away. That may be the thing to do here, if I can find such a place.
who cares if people dont like LA and you do, some people might not like LA because there is no Football team! My advice, don't sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things
I use to live an hour outside london and had the best of both worlds, lived in the country with London only a train ride away. That may be the thing to do here, if I can find such a place.
who cares if people dont like LA and you do, some people might not like LA because there is no Football team! My advice, don't sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things
#35
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
[QUOTE=Eskimo]Patrick you don't not come on the board nearly enough anymore and advice like this is like gold dust
[QUOTE]
Ive dissapeared up my own arse of late, we are moving house we adopted one foster child and the other went home, we have had allsorts of weird and not very wonderful crap happen of late.
When did my life become an extreme sport?
Patrick
[QUOTE]
Ive dissapeared up my own arse of late, we are moving house we adopted one foster child and the other went home, we have had allsorts of weird and not very wonderful crap happen of late.
When did my life become an extreme sport?
Patrick
#36
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by lionheart
Well to start I lost my job 4 months ago. I was making decent money and travelling throughout Asia and Europe 2 months a year on business. I was pretty much the sole source of income as my partner ( who is from Finland) and I decided she would primarily look after our 23 month old son. We were planning to buy a house and add to our family, needless to say the house is not going to happen since I no longer have a job, however we do have another baby on the way which is due in February 2006. In many ways I feel I am back to square one after the job loss, we are also in a very small apartment (so my views may be tainted or even perceived as negative??).
On the bright side, we have 3 Miniature Pinscher dogs, between them and my son this takes up a considerable amount of my time. I play football every week, work out 4 or 5 times a week( weights cardio etc), I like to watch football and boxing on the TV,also enjoy cooking mostly ethnic food and a glass or two of red wine. Since I lost my job I started playing golf ( which I suck at) and am looking at getting my soccer coaching license so I can possibly coach kids. Also used to like to go to the movies a lot, however that is now limited to DVD as most people don't appreciate a screaming 2 year old during the movie. I have also spent some time finishing restoring the 1974 Jaguar XJ6L project car which I spent 5 years putting money and work into, although the car is worth about as much as a used Dodge Neon ( definitely a labor of love). You can see pics on the photopost under lionheart. That just about sums it up for me.
On the bright side, we have 3 Miniature Pinscher dogs, between them and my son this takes up a considerable amount of my time. I play football every week, work out 4 or 5 times a week( weights cardio etc), I like to watch football and boxing on the TV,also enjoy cooking mostly ethnic food and a glass or two of red wine. Since I lost my job I started playing golf ( which I suck at) and am looking at getting my soccer coaching license so I can possibly coach kids. Also used to like to go to the movies a lot, however that is now limited to DVD as most people don't appreciate a screaming 2 year old during the movie. I have also spent some time finishing restoring the 1974 Jaguar XJ6L project car which I spent 5 years putting money and work into, although the car is worth about as much as a used Dodge Neon ( definitely a labor of love). You can see pics on the photopost under lionheart. That just about sums it up for me.
Sorry to hear about your job, that is quite a blow to deal with. It sounds like you are making good use of your time. What are your future plans? I enjoyed looking at your pics and look forward to hearing about the new baby. Good luck with everything.
#37
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
That is a very pertinent question. My husband is a scientist and we came here 2 1/2 years ago for a 6-month sabbatical, with him working for the hospital which has now given him a job. We were living in a vibrant urban area and, to be honest, it was more like a lovely vacation for me. I could even walk to most things and the kids were only in elementary school and knew they were going back. England seemed dull to me in comparison. Now we are living way out of the city in order to put the children in good schools, and I have to deal with real everyday life! My daughter, 9 , likes it here, fortunately, but my son is not too happy about it and never was. I think he saw a lot of the potential pitfalls better than I did! By the way, my long-suffering husband has coped with everything, even separation from his beloved Newcastle FC, and is very positive and prepared to "go for it", so that will help. I certainly feel I should have done more research and thought things through more carefully before making such a big commitment. But then, maybe it will all work out fine and I will be glad we made the move!
I think you definitely need to get driving - just bite the bullet and get out there. As and when you start meeting new people and/or joining groups etc you will need to be able to get around - this is America and the car is king
Just get on this site whenever you need to have a moan about things - you'll find loads of people who are willing to moan with you and plenty of other people who will put you up by your bootlaces and tell you what's what
#38
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Wintersong
There's a world of difference between knowing you have a home to return to in the UK and suddenly feeling cut off and isolated, isn't there? Still, I would say that your attitude seems to be fairly positive despite the homesickness so you're going about it the right way. If your friends are anything like mine, they'll have decided that it's far too expensive to call you and it'll be up to you to stay in touch, which adds to the feelings of isolation. Apparently it's also too expensive to send post (one birthday card from the UK, but that's a whole other story...)
I think you definitely need to get driving - just bite the bullet and get out there. As and when you start meeting new people and/or joining groups etc you will need to be able to get around - this is America and the car is king
Just get on this site whenever you need to have a moan about things - you'll find loads of people who are willing to moan with you and plenty of other people who will put you up by your bootlaces and tell you what's what
I think you definitely need to get driving - just bite the bullet and get out there. As and when you start meeting new people and/or joining groups etc you will need to be able to get around - this is America and the car is king
Just get on this site whenever you need to have a moan about things - you'll find loads of people who are willing to moan with you and plenty of other people who will put you up by your bootlaces and tell you what's what
I'm really glad I found this site, but if I'm going to keep using it I need to know how to "adorn" my posts like everyone else-where do I find out how to do this?
#39
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
Yes. I didn't realize what a big decision selling our house was.I 'm glad you said that about the friends contacting you as well. It seems we have disappeared off our friends' radar already, but I thought maybe it was just us...
I'm really glad I found this site, but if I'm going to keep using it I need to know how to "adorn" my posts like everyone else-where do I find out how to do this?
I'm really glad I found this site, but if I'm going to keep using it I need to know how to "adorn" my posts like everyone else-where do I find out how to do this?
For a pic under your username, go to my profile and then hit edit avatar. You can upload gifs or jpgs so long as they are less than 65 x 65 pixels and about 20-30kb. I'm not entirely sure what the regs are for non-premium members.
You can also edit your signature in your profile, so make sure you get some really thought provoking stuff in there
#40
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
Yes. I didn't realize what a big decision selling our house was.I 'm glad you said that about the friends contacting you as well. It seems we have disappeared off our friends' radar already, but I thought maybe it was just us...
I think the wake up call for us with friends was going home at Xmas and realising everyone is getting on with their lives without us
Lots of people promise to come but I think most people on here would agree that promising at a leaving party and actually getting on a plane for 11 hours are two very different things. Being LA it is easier to attract the visitors though and we have had our best friends, both sets of parents and and mine and Woodseys sisters, not sure that Minneapolis in November would have been so busy
#41
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by Eskimo
Selling the house for us in hindsight was a good thing .. its so final you have to get on with it ..
I think the wake up call for us with friends was going home at Xmas and realising everyone is getting on with their lives without us
Lots of people promise to come but I think most people on here would agree that promising at a leaving party and actually getting on a plane for 11 hours are two very different things. Being LA it is easier to attract the visitors though and we have had our best friends, both sets of parents and and mine and Woodseys sisters, not sure that Minneapolis in November would have been so busy
I think the wake up call for us with friends was going home at Xmas and realising everyone is getting on with their lives without us
Lots of people promise to come but I think most people on here would agree that promising at a leaving party and actually getting on a plane for 11 hours are two very different things. Being LA it is easier to attract the visitors though and we have had our best friends, both sets of parents and and mine and Woodseys sisters, not sure that Minneapolis in November would have been so busy
Having done the trip several times (twice whilst heavily pregnant and once with a new born and a 3 year old) I can't see why everyone thinks it is such a big deal. But then living over here, you realised that to drive 6 hours for a bloody great weekend is no big deal. I intend to apply that to my life when (if ever) we move home and see more people.
You of course, get the drunk calls at 6pm ish telling you much people love you and miss you but do any of them book a flight? Do they hell as like.
You will truly realise who your real friends are in the UK when you move over here!
#42
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Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by bored-silly
You will truly realise who your real friends are in the UK when you move over here!
#43
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
I haven't allowed any of my friends to forget me, I have phoned them regularly since I got out here to be fair they call me too however if they didnt I would just call them anyway.
I strongly believe people do want to keep in touch really they just don't always get round to picking up the phone especially with time zones etc. My advice is to call they will be glad to hear from you.
I strongly believe people do want to keep in touch really they just don't always get round to picking up the phone especially with time zones etc. My advice is to call they will be glad to hear from you.
#44
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by immunise
If you are willing to risk the drive you should check out Electric Karma on 3rd Street, down near Cedars-Sinai as the food is amazing (Indian but owned by a Frenchman), further down the road in Santa Monica is The Kings Head (http://www.yeoldekingshead.com/newsite/home.htm )which is the usual US attempt at a 'British Pub' but it's better than the endless sports bars or overpriced poser hang-outs. In Pasadena I really reccomend the Yard House ( http://www.yardhouse.com/default.asp ) for a nice meal/drinking session. In Glendale you should check out Portos Bakery ( http://www.portosbakery.com )
You could also check out the fox and hounds on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City, west of Universal Studios, has some good food, and a lot of Brits. I'm down in Orange County, life is very different down here, but I do love to go up to LA for clubs, entertainment etc.
Good luck!
#45
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Posts: 8,266
Re: How long does it take to feel settled?
Originally Posted by bored-silly
You of course, get the drunk calls at 6pm ish telling you much people love you and miss you but do any of them book a flight?
You will truly realise who your real friends are in the UK when you move over here!