Cookie

Not for us. In fact it has had the opposite effect.

My OH worked for 18 year offshore in the UK oil and gas industry. I can't even begin to count the birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and New Year days he missed with me and the boys. It was horrible, especially on their birthdays. Christmas time was particularly tough, as we knew we wouldn't be seeing him til into the New Year. Goodness only knows how people with partners in the HM forces cope.

Now he is home every night (almost), weekend and holiday - we certainly appreciate it too

scbrit

I always felt bad around my familys birthdays and Christmas, so I would get nice things delivered to them. I never really liked my birthdays, hated the attention! I was a shy child! Although its funny last year being back from the states and having my first birthday with them since about 92! Cake seemed smaller than it use to!! Could you plan a holiday back home next year for your birthday? Happy early birthday

SarahInTX

Hi TT,

I've been here 30 years in September, and I'm planning to go back as soon as I can.

I agree about "losing loved ones" and I'm convinced that it's a big part of why I -- fairly suddenly -- decided that I needed to return. My father died while I was over here, and then one of my BILs. That was actually quite devastating, and it was after his death that I became terribly homesick and started being mentally and emotionally in the UK, even though I was physically here in the US. That was almost four years ago.

Do you have plans to return?

trottytrue

Hello Sarah,

I have been here since August 23rd 1977. Funny how I remember the day. We flew into Florida. We had an awful flight and the weather in Florida at that time of the year is the worst. Hot and humid.

Yes we had planned to go back years ago when my husband was near retirement but he was laid off earlier and our children were in University so we had to take money out of our savings to pay their fee's. This meant we had to put it back so thats what we have been doing.
When the time was right we had done everything had the dogs rabies shots and chips installed and put the house up for sale but the housing market bottomed out so here we still are. That was the hardest time for me.
We took the house off the market for the Winter have been making some upgrades and are putting it back on the market in a month if the market improves.
Two of our 3 dogs died during the wait and I doubt the other one will be around for the trip if it doesnt happen soon.
But to answer your question yes I am going home. For me it was losing my Mum and my dear brother last year. I have always wanted to go home its just got worse. But patience is my thing.

Here we have a big house with an indoor pool and 3 acres of land but I will be quite happy with a small house and my freedom. I was brought up in a terraced house and I was fine with that.

SarahInTX

September 19, 1978. Houston.

We (my ex husband and I) couldn't figure out why the air was steamy when we got off the plane in Houston! Turned out it was just the climate. He was quite thrown off balance for the first few days.

So sorry to hear about your dogs . . . Mine are 8 and 4 (that's the 4-year-old in my avatar), so all being well, they'll make it home with me. They're all ready to go. Like you, I'm just trying to get a house (actually a mobile home) sold and then I'll leave. I have a buyer and the paperwork is with the underwriter, but the buyer's had some credit problems in the past, so not sure if they're going to let him have the loan . . . If not, back to square one . . . Like you, I've learned to be patient (though it can be SO frustrating at times!).

trottytrue

Sarah hope the sale goes through and you get to go home. You could always rent for a while and see how you feel. Glad your dogs are doing well. Zoey is now 12 going on for 13 some days she better than others.

My problem back then was I had no backbone. I was brought up in the era of 'what the male says goes'. Not my Mothers fault she was also brought up in that era and her Dad was much worse. I had three older brothers and they were always at the centre of her life.
Thats why I admire todays young women, not those that go overboard but those who are willing to stand firm and do whats right for them. I was brought up to think about everyone else first. To late now but if I could only turn the clock back.
I doubt whether we will put ours back on the market till next year as things are so bad. Not that it will get any better but maybe house prices and the pound will have dropped by then.
Sometimes I just feel like giving up and saying to hell with it but then the next day I pull my socks up and get on with it.

SarahInTX

Thanks, TT!

Supposedly we may get the word today and close some time next week . . . but I am NOT holding my breath for that! (In fact I have been renting it out and it's the renter who wants to buy it.)

I had a sheltie mix dog that lived to be 17 -- which surprised the heck out of me! I never thought she'd go that long. So Zoey might have a good few years yet. You never know. Hope so anyway.

_debs_

Yes, birthdays, easter, bonfirenight, halloween and christmas.

I think whats worse was that horrible feeling of emptiness. Cant really find the words to describe it, but for me it was that these times of the year were insignificant, and no matter what I did to make it significant, it still felt meaningless. I remember when I first came back to the UK for a short holiday before I returned for good.... I couldnt understand why I ever left in the first place and completely took for granted everything around me. Having been back for six months, I still love it, I do miss some things about Australia... but on the whole feel relieved to be back.


Home is Home.......no matter where you are in the world. I just think that we all have our journeys in life to do... and each one of us are on to different paths for different reasons. Nothing is perfect where ever you are, but I will always know now, where my home is, and its were my heart is.

kizbut1

Hi Dave,
Hope you had a good birthday. I was 40 last year and spent most of it in tears. I hope yours wasn't nearly as bad. As for Xmas lets just say that I put the washing on as usual, we had a panic run round the freezer (my food order didn't turn up/got lost /whatever) and I would have quite happily spent the day in bed. The best bit was telling everyone that we were coming home.
Jo

Dave_Was

Hey Jo,

The birthday was alright, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It definitely was tinged with the sadness of not being home, but I got through it. I stood in the shower and thought maybe I'd feel better after a good cry, but I just can't do that.

I've been reflecting on things more and I think that I'm just looking for an excuse to go home.

I'm having issues at work and I just hope that's not clouding my judgement at the moment.

trottytrue

I'm not so sure I agree that is Home is Home no matter where you are in the world or Home is where the Heart is.

I love my husband and family very much and if the above were true I would feel very happy but thats not the case. Sometimes Home is where you feel the most comfortable and to be surrounded by whats familiar. Seems such a silly thing to say that you would subsitute the familiar for your nearest and dearest but thats the thruth.

All the years we have been in the US I have never felt like 'one of them', my accent immediately gives me away. Then the remarks begin most are of the good natured. "Don't you talk funny". How come you spell that way. When the children were in school I had to be very careful helping with spelling. Also I could get very annoyed over certain History projects . Where you disagree. All this just makes you feel you don't quite belong.

A small thing is and I am sure many English dont mind when the Americans sing "America" to the melody of God save the Queen, to me it was always a little sad.

So sometimes the heart is not always in tune with were the mind wants to be or all those gene's from long ago running round in your blood.

Gettingtheflipout

Hi all, been in the US for three years, spent pretty much all of it homesick and feeling trapped/unwelcome (homeland security, I thank you for losing my application. Very flippin' decent of you.)

Have had to abandon my previous career of working with autistic adults (pay here isn't enough to cover debt (thanks once more to HS), let alone living expenses and rent, and so was forced to take work in offices. While offices are great for some, I find them horrible environments to work in for 40 hrs a week.) have put on a pile of weight, find the weather so oppressive I struggle to even get out for a run (which used to be my way of destressing and relaxing, as well as keeping in shape), and now spend my days sat on my bum all day at work, and sat on my bum all day at home. I do occasionally go to the gym, and am trying to get out for a run in the morning before the weather kicks in, but having a hard time of it due to the current summer heat.

Never had anything seriously like depression in the UK. Within three years in the US, I've gone from a happy, peacefully contented and healthy individual, who's interests ranged from going out with good friends, guitar-playing in a rock band, TaeKwonDo and Taoism to an absolute wreck who can be guaranteed to wake up at least two days a week either depressed, in tears about the hopelessness of it all, both, or genuinely considering knocking myself off.

And that's with a full-time job, as well.

Point of the story is that I spent my 30th birthday, just a few month's ago, breaking my wife's heart because she had to go to work and she was leaving me on the couch with tears in my eyes staring blankly at the wall. Good effing times, I kid ye not.

I feel like if you don't come in with money, or at least have the ability to make a ton of money, the US is NOT the place to emmigrate to. Oh, and its no place to be if you're a fairly liberal-minded chap who likes good journalism.

so tot eh original poster- I totally agree. hopefully, this will be the last year, I have to spend a birthday here, as I've never had such a miserable time in my life.

_debs_

Never had anything seriously like depression in the UK. Within three years in the US, I've gone from a happy, peacefully contented and healthy individual, who's interests ranged from going out with good friends, guitar-playing in a rock band, TaeKwonDo and Taoism to an absolute wreck who can be guaranteed to wake up at least two days a week either depressed, in tears about the hopelessness of it all, both, or genuinely considering knocking myself off

I am very sad to hear you are so unhappy and I empathise totally with your predicament. I felt exactly like you...... its a horrible feeling... but please dont consider the latter part of your words...... you are worth so much more than that and dont deserve to put yourself down like that. Hopelessness is a horrible feeling, but there is a way out if you consider, and Im sure your wife loves you so much and would hate to hear you talk that way.

Things I did which helped

Wrote down a list of things which I liked about living in Aus
Wrote down a list of things which I hated about living in Aus
Did the same with the UK and put to gether a compare and contrast thing
I can tell you the relief I felt when I have compared the two and decided that England was far better for me and my family.


Then I put together my action plan of what I was going to do to get out and what my priorities were. I can honestly say it worked. I love it back home in the UK.

As a result my husband and I are so much closer and share a special bond, and Im sure you will ......dont be so disheartened, just plan what you want and go for it...... Good luck

Gettingtheflipout

I got round this, during a Marine Graduation ceremony for a nephew of ours (and here's me with an MA in Peace Studies. Suddenly I'm an Army Uncle, for Pity's sake...), during the flag-waving, shirt-rending outpouring of nationalistic scariness that was the recital of "the Star Spangled Banner" in South Carolina, to sing, hand on heart and in time to the Marine Corp band "National Health Service! National Health Service! National! health service! National Health Service!"

Try it, it works a treat...

brits1

Agree with you on that one....no bad feelings towards Aus...but just wish we were home right now...this second...!!! its just not been home and after 10 years of trying it never will be....we are just waiting to sell our home then off we go........glad to hear your enjoying life at home...and hopefully for everyone who wants to return home may it be soon.......now after being sooooooo nice can someone please buy our home!!!! lol