Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Jun 4th 2008, 6:38 pm
#1
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Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hello All,
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Jun 4th 2008, 8:59 pm
#2
Bristolish expat
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Bristol ~ Nanaimo, BC ... It's a bit like Salem's Lot!!
Posts: 1,699
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hello All,
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
First of all, an early happy birthday
.Your post sounds like I could've written it!! Not ready to go home, pretty OK job, kids love it etc etc .......... BUT it was my birthday just over a week ago, I'm a little bit older than you (10yrs actually
) & I felt SO lonely.............probably my fault as I didn't mention it to anyone here & would have loved to spend it with people that 'really' knew me 
So yep, maybe it's therapy to write it down or just to know that other people feel the same ......... Maybe I should consider some Botox for my lip
Jun 4th 2008, 9:15 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 87
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hello All,
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Happy birthday when it comes around! Gosh, you sound like I feel, when it was my 50th birthday almost three years ago I practically spent all day in bed under the covers crying, mostly because that birthday was in such contrast to my 40th which I had spent in the UK and had had a great big party surrounded by all my family and friends etc....My 50th was such a let down, as you say everyone calls but you DO FEEL WORSE for it, I totally agree with you there. I think at times I am going mental, I am flip flopping all the time ie: 1. Canada is a clean beautiful place but I dont have many connections here. 2. England is calling me but after 13 years it has changed so much....would I settle? 3. Canada is nice and I love the open spaces but I dont feel that the job opportunities are here etc.etc.. it never ends and goes around my head all the time. I do hope you feel better and enjoy your birthday but sometimes there is no getting away from those feelings is there?
Its okay to let the that stiff upper lip quiver now and then ya know.
Cheers, Buggalugs
Jun 4th 2008, 9:16 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 87
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hi Dave
First of all, an early happy birthday.
Your post sounds like I could've written it!! Not ready to go home, pretty OK job, kids love it etc etc .......... BUT it was my birthday just over a week ago, I'm a little bit older than you (10yrs actually) & I felt SO lonely.............probably my fault as I didn't mention it to anyone here & would have loved to spend it with people that 'really' knew me
So yep, maybe it's therapy to write it down or just to know that other people feel the same ......... Maybe I should consider some Botox for my lip
First of all, an early happy birthday
.Your post sounds like I could've written it!! Not ready to go home, pretty OK job, kids love it etc etc .......... BUT it was my birthday just over a week ago, I'm a little bit older than you (10yrs actually
) & I felt SO lonely.............probably my fault as I didn't mention it to anyone here & would have loved to spend it with people that 'really' knew me So yep, maybe it's therapy to write it down or just to know that other people feel the same ......... Maybe I should consider some Botox for my lip
Buggalugs
Jun 4th 2008, 9:21 pm
#5
Bristolish expat
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Bristol ~ Nanaimo, BC ... It's a bit like Salem's Lot!!
Posts: 1,699
Jun 4th 2008, 10:28 pm
#7
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
I didn't find birthdays too bad...Christmas was much worse. 
Jun 4th 2008, 10:39 pm
#8
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,533
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hello All,
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
You shouldn't have to sit down and work out the things about a place that make you happy in order to stay there. Those things should be automatic, you shouldn't need to look for them too hard. That sounds just like I used to be here, constantly looking for reasons to stay because my logical brain would want to take over, when in my heart I knew all of the time that I just needed to be 'home'.
As for being around your Mum and Dad when you're 34, "Bloody good on yer" I say! I only hope our son feels the same way when he's your age
Jun 5th 2008, 4:20 am
#9
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Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Ex-Canada: now rural West Sussex.
Posts: 1,013
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Yep.....my Dad was 89 today......well yesterday because we're already into today. I'll start again....my Dad was 89 on June 4th, and I really wanted to be with him. However.....only 24 days to go...........
Jun 5th 2008, 1:58 pm
#10
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Joined: Sep 2007
Location: NI (back from Toronto)
Posts: 3,409
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
So glad this is the last time I'll miss his birthday
Jun 5th 2008, 6:28 pm
#11
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 456
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Yeah I missed my fathers 60th birthday a few years back. It was the first time I heard my fathers voice 'quiver' on the phone. That was a bad day for me.
My wife and I just got our Green Cards here and I have to consider what the situation would be if we went back next year or hung out to get citizenship.
Of course I'll have to put a brave face on it and get on with it.
My wife and I just got our Green Cards here and I have to consider what the situation would be if we went back next year or hung out to get citizenship.
Of course I'll have to put a brave face on it and get on with it.
Jun 5th 2008, 7:17 pm
#12
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Year. I miss them all. Boxing Day which I know you will think funny but that was the day family would spend "doing the rounds". It doesnt get any easier either. I have been in the US for nearly 30 years and I still feel the same depression when something special comes up.
Worst thing that happened, was a few years ago when my Mum was failing in health and her mind was not always intouch. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she was upset with me because I had not been to see her that day. She was annoyed with me and wanted to know why I could not pop round to see her. I still think about it. Every year one of my older brothers would call me without fail to wish me a happy birthday unfortunately he died last year so I never got to see him again or hear him wish me a happy birthday. Thats a big drawback when you get older losing your loved ones and not being their with them.
Didn't mean to make you feel worse on your birthday.
Worst thing that happened, was a few years ago when my Mum was failing in health and her mind was not always intouch. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she was upset with me because I had not been to see her that day. She was annoyed with me and wanted to know why I could not pop round to see her. I still think about it. Every year one of my older brothers would call me without fail to wish me a happy birthday unfortunately he died last year so I never got to see him again or hear him wish me a happy birthday. Thats a big drawback when you get older losing your loved ones and not being their with them.
Didn't mean to make you feel worse on your birthday.
Jun 5th 2008, 7:29 pm
#13
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Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Kansas, USA
Posts: 2,620
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
Hello All,
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Sometimes I can sit down in the US and see the positives of being here. A reasonably stable job with decent salary, a good day to day living, etc.
But I really miss my Mum, Dad and my family, but especially my Mum and Dad. I know I sound all of four and you should really add 30 years onto that, but that's the way it is. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and though, I'll be spending it with my wonderful wife, but I'd love to be home. My Mum and Dad used to do this thing where my Mum would fuss over me all day and my father would pretend it was like every other day. My niece and nephew would come round and bring cards that they had made and bring a little cup cake with a candle in it. Of course, everyone will give me a call but it's not the same and to be honest, I'll feel worse for it.
Day to day I love being here, but sometimes there's just such an emptyness. It does get worse around birthdays, etc. Do you guys get that too?
I know if I was back in the UK, I wouldn't be living down the street from my parents and it would probably be more like a couple of hours away, but that's the thing, it would only be a couple of hourse away and I could see them whenever I wanted too. with that said, I've got no plans to go home yet. The work situation just doesn't allow it and the situation with the economy means that a move now would be a little bit foolish.
So I suppose it's back to stiff upper lip time.
I don't know why I'm posting this, just that I've written it out and it feels like I've told someone.
Hope all are doing well.
Jun 8th 2008, 11:56 pm
#14
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
I am glad I have seen this thread because there is something in my mind that I cant work out.
I have been in Perth for 3 months and compared to my old life where/how I lived it in England, I really like it here.
I can't imagine moving back, yes I get 'people sick' but I feel at home where I am in Fremantle.
Yet I am dreading my birthday in August. I don't know why as I have more or less always spent it on my own with husband working and we have rarely done anything exciting other than going out for a meal. I never ever spent it with family.
This year a few of us are planning a joint birthday bash with my work pals, I expect we will do a tour of some sort as well - swimming with dolphins is on the agenda.
Each morning I wake up happy and grateful that I am here.
Yet I feel nervous about having a birthday in Australia - work that one out if you can
.
I have been in Perth for 3 months and compared to my old life where/how I lived it in England, I really like it here.
I can't imagine moving back, yes I get 'people sick' but I feel at home where I am in Fremantle.
Yet I am dreading my birthday in August. I don't know why as I have more or less always spent it on my own with husband working and we have rarely done anything exciting other than going out for a meal. I never ever spent it with family.
This year a few of us are planning a joint birthday bash with my work pals, I expect we will do a tour of some sort as well - swimming with dolphins is on the agenda.
Each morning I wake up happy and grateful that I am here.
Yet I feel nervous about having a birthday in Australia - work that one out if you can
.
Jun 12th 2008, 4:06 pm
#15
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 604
Re: Homesickness increase around birthdays?
I find as I get older birthday's just mean less, anywhere. For example this year we were stuck inside because of a big snowstorm - just sums things up really.
What does hurt is my little boy's birthdays, they really hit home and also Christmas - as usual just the 3 of us.
What does hurt is my little boy's birthdays, they really hit home and also Christmas - as usual just the 3 of us.