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Homesick and depressed...

Homesick and depressed...

Old Jan 5th 2008, 2:12 pm
  #166  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by SuzanneMaria View Post
Perhaps, before you throw in the towel, you could try living on the East Coast. People aren't spread as far apart there, and it's easier to make friends. Just so you know you aren't alone: I (American) have lived with my (English) husband in Hove for almost eight years. As time has gone on, I've lost touch with all my friends in the States. My husband is pretty much a recluse, so we don't really have any friends to go out to dinner with, party with, what have you. The only people I know here are my in-laws, whereas once I had a huge social circle. That would be okay if I were an introvert like my husband, but I'm very extraverted and take an antidepressant just to get through each lonely day.
My Mum is 45 miles north of you ..go visit ..she would knock
some sense into you..
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 3:26 pm
  #167  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by Ray View Post
My Mum is 45 miles north of you ..go visit ..she would knock
some sense into you..
Failing that, my brothers about a 35 minute drive away and he'd bang the snot out of her for a packet of 20 Bensons.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 5:32 pm
  #168  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by Tracym View Post
They both have a point imo.

She is unhappy where they are and wants to leave.
He has started the green card process and wants to wait a few years until it's complete.

Both valid reasons, again imo.

From a purely practical standpoint - he gets his green card, then they move to a part of the country she might like. However, perhaps the OP cannot wait that long.

Some marriage counseling before a decision is made sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
I kinda got the impression that he is more interested in his career than he is the GC. He's telling her to wait for the GC because then she'll be able to work. It doesn't sound like he'd then want to move if it wasn't for his career in some way. I can understand, I used to be quite career oriented myself. Then I had a child, and my husband's career took off all of a sudden, and I learned to chill out. I think I actually did better at work once I took all that pressure off myself!
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 6:47 pm
  #169  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by chicagojlo View Post
I kinda got the impression that he is more interested in his career than he is the GC. He's telling her to wait for the GC because then she'll be able to work. It doesn't sound like he'd then want to move if it wasn't for his career in some way. I can understand, I used to be quite career oriented myself. Then I had a child, and my husband's career took off all of a sudden, and I learned to chill out. I think I actually did better at work once I took all that pressure off myself!
I have no idea what he really thinks, he hasn't told us.

But men are generally fairly career oriented. Whether he'd move to a different city once he had his green card, I have no idea.

That said, of course, she has to be happy too.

I hope they work it out.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 7:33 pm
  #170  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by Tracym View Post
I have no idea what he really thinks, he hasn't told us.

But men are generally fairly career oriented. Whether he'd move to a different city once he had his green card, I have no idea.

That said, of course, she has to be happy too.

I hope they work it out.
The OP still hasn't told us (unless I missed it) *where* in the GC process they actually are.

This could take MANY YEARS......... so not practical to base her decisions about her future on this. She needs to make some changes now, before she either goes nuts or completely annihilates her own identity.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 8:34 pm
  #171  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

We are truly at the beginning, the labour certification process has justed started. The road ahead is a long one....

I booked my ticket to go home for 2 weeks so I can get some perspective.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 8:41 pm
  #172  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by MademoiselleMtl View Post
We are truly at the beginning, the labour certification process has justed started. The road ahead is a long one....

I booked my ticket to go home for 2 weeks so I can get some perspective.
Have a great trip - I hope things work out for you.
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 2:42 am
  #173  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

If it helps I have been to Quebec and hated it immensely so its all about opinions.
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 2:46 am
  #174  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by gazzpfc View Post
If it helps I have been to Quebec and hated it immensely so its all about opinions.
They have excellent pea soup. smoked meat sandwiches and pork pie.
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 2:50 am
  #175  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by chicagojlo View Post
I kinda got the impression that he is more interested in his career than he is the GC. He's telling her to wait for the GC because then she'll be able to work. It doesn't sound like he'd then want to move if it wasn't for his career in some way. I can understand, I used to be quite career oriented myself. Then I had a child, and my husband's career took off all of a sudden, and I learned to chill out. I think I actually did better at work once I took all that pressure off myself!

She doesn't have to wait for the GC to work. If the I-485's have been filed she can apply for work authorization via an I-765 and start work as soon as she has that and a social security number.
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 2:52 am
  #176  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
She doesn't have to wait for the GC to work. If the I-485's have been filed she can apply for work authorization via an I-765 and start work as soon as she has that and a social security number.
Rete - read what she said.......... they haven't even started the labor certification yet...

It'll be many years before she's eligible to file her I-765.
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 3:00 am
  #177  
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Default Re: Homesick and depressed...

Originally Posted by SuzanneMaria View Post
Perhaps, before you throw in the towel, you could try living on the East Coast. People aren't spread as far apart there, and it's easier to make friends. Just so you know you aren't alone: I (American) have lived with my (English) husband in Hove for almost eight years. As time has gone on, I've lost touch with all my friends in the States. My husband is pretty much a recluse, so we don't really have any friends to go out to dinner with, party with, what have you. The only people I know here are my in-laws, whereas once I had a huge social circle. That would be okay if I were an introvert like my husband, but I'm very extraverted and take an antidepressant just to get through each lonely day.
Being homesick and depressed is only counts if you're in the USA and dislike the US it doesn't work the other way.

12 pages if you are unhappy in the US and a slap if you are unhappy in the UK.
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