Homesick and depressed...
#166
Re: Homesick and depressed...
Perhaps, before you throw in the towel, you could try living on the East Coast. People aren't spread as far apart there, and it's easier to make friends. Just so you know you aren't alone: I (American) have lived with my (English) husband in Hove for almost eight years. As time has gone on, I've lost touch with all my friends in the States. My husband is pretty much a recluse, so we don't really have any friends to go out to dinner with, party with, what have you. The only people I know here are my in-laws, whereas once I had a huge social circle. That would be okay if I were an introvert like my husband, but I'm very extraverted and take an antidepressant just to get through each lonely day.
some sense into you..
#168
Re: Homesick and depressed...
They both have a point imo.
She is unhappy where they are and wants to leave.
He has started the green card process and wants to wait a few years until it's complete.
Both valid reasons, again imo.
From a purely practical standpoint - he gets his green card, then they move to a part of the country she might like. However, perhaps the OP cannot wait that long.
Some marriage counseling before a decision is made sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
She is unhappy where they are and wants to leave.
He has started the green card process and wants to wait a few years until it's complete.
Both valid reasons, again imo.
From a purely practical standpoint - he gets his green card, then they move to a part of the country she might like. However, perhaps the OP cannot wait that long.
Some marriage counseling before a decision is made sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
#169
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Homesick and depressed...
I kinda got the impression that he is more interested in his career than he is the GC. He's telling her to wait for the GC because then she'll be able to work. It doesn't sound like he'd then want to move if it wasn't for his career in some way. I can understand, I used to be quite career oriented myself. Then I had a child, and my husband's career took off all of a sudden, and I learned to chill out. I think I actually did better at work once I took all that pressure off myself!
But men are generally fairly career oriented. Whether he'd move to a different city once he had his green card, I have no idea.
That said, of course, she has to be happy too.
I hope they work it out.
#170
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: Homesick and depressed...
This could take MANY YEARS......... so not practical to base her decisions about her future on this. She needs to make some changes now, before she either goes nuts or completely annihilates her own identity.
#171
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Back in Montreal, PQ
Posts: 98
Re: Homesick and depressed...
We are truly at the beginning, the labour certification process has justed started. The road ahead is a long one....
I booked my ticket to go home for 2 weeks so I can get some perspective.
I booked my ticket to go home for 2 weeks so I can get some perspective.
#172
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Re: Homesick and depressed...
Have a great trip - I hope things work out for you.
#173
Pompey Boy
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Torrejon
Posts: 143
Re: Homesick and depressed...
If it helps I have been to Quebec and hated it immensely so its all about opinions.
#175
Re: Homesick and depressed...
I kinda got the impression that he is more interested in his career than he is the GC. He's telling her to wait for the GC because then she'll be able to work. It doesn't sound like he'd then want to move if it wasn't for his career in some way. I can understand, I used to be quite career oriented myself. Then I had a child, and my husband's career took off all of a sudden, and I learned to chill out. I think I actually did better at work once I took all that pressure off myself!
She doesn't have to wait for the GC to work. If the I-485's have been filed she can apply for work authorization via an I-765 and start work as soon as she has that and a social security number.
#176
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: Homesick and depressed...
It'll be many years before she's eligible to file her I-765.
#177
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,583
Re: Homesick and depressed...
Perhaps, before you throw in the towel, you could try living on the East Coast. People aren't spread as far apart there, and it's easier to make friends. Just so you know you aren't alone: I (American) have lived with my (English) husband in Hove for almost eight years. As time has gone on, I've lost touch with all my friends in the States. My husband is pretty much a recluse, so we don't really have any friends to go out to dinner with, party with, what have you. The only people I know here are my in-laws, whereas once I had a huge social circle. That would be okay if I were an introvert like my husband, but I'm very extraverted and take an antidepressant just to get through each lonely day.
12 pages if you are unhappy in the US and a slap if you are unhappy in the UK.