2 parts to this post...

I moved to New Jersey last week from Birmingham, England. I know it's very early days, but I'm suffering from terrible homesickness, already. I knew it would be difficult but I'm literally lying awake all night wishing I'd never made the move. I'm 26, and this is the first time I have ever moved out from my mums house and am particularly missing my family. Can anyone offer any advise?

The other thing I wanted to know, I'm currently on an h2b visa, if I was to break my 9 month employment and move home, could the company I joined charge me for leaving so soon?

As always, any advise is greatly appreciated.

Please give yourself more time before deciding to to give up and move back.

A couple of ideas...

*'Google is your friend'... Get online, look for places to visit to get out and about.
*Facetime/Skype with people back in the UK
*Join a gym or some other kind of interest group, get out and meet people.

You really do have to give yourself a good few months before you can get a true feel on the place.

Did you go through a similar thing when you first moved out?

I moved here last October and have had a couple of bouts of homesickness, Christmas and my birthday were particularly hard. What is it you're missing most? If it's family/friends then I second the Skype idea, that definitely helped. Go and buy some overpriced British food, find your local Brit pub, try and find a group or activity that you enjoyed in England etc. Basically anything to make you feel better right now. It WILL pass, just hang on in there. Give it time and be nice to yourself

I did when we moved to Australia. I think it's a combination of jet lag, the newness of the place and the "holy shit what have I done!!" factors all rolled into one. Don't discount your feelings, but do realise that things will get better once you settle in a bit. Why not invite your mum to come over once the weather in NJ gets a bit nicer? Maybe May/June would be a good time. That will give you something to look forward to.

Like others have said, give yourself a few months to settle in. If you only arrived last week then you're still getting over the initial culture shock. Why not get yourself out and meet some people? Join meetup.com and see if there's a British group in your area. Or better yet, try to meet some locals - they're a great way to see the area you're living in. My ex-husband met his girlfriend through Meetup at a dance class and I've met a great friend through an over 50's Meetup group.

Mostly take care of yourself. Go to the gym, get your hair or nails done, buy a new dress. Whatever it is that makes you feel good is what you need to do.

If this is the first time you have ever lived away from the family home, you are probably being hit with a double whammy of homesickness and overwhelming feelings.

You can do it, hang on in there. It's only for 9 months, remember the reasons why you thought it was a good idea to come in the first place. If you went home now, you may find in the long run you don't feel any better if you regret 'giving up' too early.

Lots of good advice already, I second the notion of getting out and exploring your local area as much as possible and distracting yourself. Even with a basic aim of making yourself physically tired enough to sleep.

It must be a big shock to the system to leave your family for the first time while making such a big move. 9 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things though. It's going to look bad for your career if you just leave, plus you will feel a sense of personal failure I think.

Stick it out for that time at least and see how you feel at the end.

I did, when I moved to New York. It didn't hit me immediately but ...... I eventually got over it, mostly by planning to get out of my situation. ....... I have never looked back!
Good advice from Sally. Definitely stick it out for nine months.

Please stick it out for a while.

I can only imagine it's a lot of shocks at once - new job, new country, new independence. But stick with it. It really will be worth it.

There's loads of good advice on here, but I just wanted to stick my oar in and give you some encouragement and sympathy.

Even though I had made numerous visits beforehand, for the first 3 months, I wondered if I had done the right thing, but the kids were enjoying it, and I began to get used to it. A few months later, I met the woman who is now my wife, I changed jobs, and it has been all one way for 36 years.
Like other have said it is important for you to get out and meet other people, and get involved in different pursuits, and give it time. I wish you the best, and hope that you can find your niche.

If it's the first time you're away from home, as unhelpful as it is, but you've just got to suck it up to some extent.

Give yourself a minimum amount of time before planning on quitting, a few months for a start as a target date before you even think of giving up. You've got to get used to living on your own as well as getting used to not having friends/family around and getting familiar with the new every day stuff that you aren't used to.

Get out and about, meet people, through work for a start, but join a club, whether it's a running group, book club, whatever you fancy. You could probably find a few recommendations through work or local library.

As to whether the company can claw back any of the fees, that would depend on the contract you signed, but if you just buggered off on your own flight, there isn't much they can do about it, but it would be burning major bridges and you might not get the opportunity again.

When you first posted on this site, it was your dream to move to the US. And you've made it happen! Remember just why you wanted this so badly and make the most of the experience! Even if you do decide to go back to the UK at the end of your contract, don't waste the time that you have here looking back over your shoulder, or you will regret it one day (and at 26, don't you think it was time you got out of your family home???). One week is far too short a period to give the move a fair chance. Get to know your new colleagues, explore the area you are living in. If you are in NJ it can't be too far to get into NYC at the weekend. Have fun -- you're young and living your dream!

Stick it out, 9 months can fly by, even when you're dealing with being homesick.

I didn't get it right away when I moved out (I was also 26 and leaving the family home for the first time), probably because I came out to get married so I had that as a distraction. Homesickness did kick in a couple of years later, quite strongly, but I was able to get over it eventually.

The closest experience I have is my first solo overseas trip. Once I arrived in my (incredibly cheap) hotel on the first night, I burst into tears. I was incredibly far from home (Australian in Italy), and was discovering the limit of my language skills. I had a long chat with my dad (long-distance phone charges be damned!), which helped me to settle and get some perspective. I still had plenty of hiccups on that trip (it was 3 months!), but that first meltdown - fuelled by extreme fatigue and not having eaten - was never repeated.

Are you living with anybody? Through my subsequent national and international moves, roommates have been a great way to maintain a connection to the human race. Also, what about work - do you get along with anyone from there? Try to set up something social, or even just make a point of having a chat while you're on a break. Incidental conversations can make a big difference when you're feeling isolated, and may lead to friendships.

Independence is something you will build up, so try not to give yourself too hard a time about not adapting instantly. That being said, be sure to work on it! Maybe set a certain number of times you will contact home per week. Now, more than ever, it is easy to cling to your old life from afar, but you are really just delaying the inevitable. Also, they are probably looking forward to hearing about your great US adventures - make sure you have some

The most helpful advice is to tell you that it's normal.

You've been away less than a week, which is shorter than going on holiday, so you must give it some time. I've been here over 17 years and still get spells of homesickness, but they DO pass.

The first time youy realize that there isn't a curry house on every corner and Curly Wurlies are hard to find does get to you, but you find alternatives and don't even think about that stuff.

The cure? Time.

...and man, I DO miss a good king prawn danshak (or even a Balti!!) !