Homesick!
 

The weather is brilliant in the SF Bay Area, the people are great but after two weeks been here going through anxiety and feeling extremely homesick. I've worked and lived in many countries but this is the first time I'm really missing home - is this the sign that I don't belong here or what? I'm happy to swap places with folks desperate to move to the states from the bonnie land! Maybe I'm just sick of driving on the flippin 101, it's cack!

What do you do to make yourself feel better when homesick?

Re: Homesick!
 

If it makes you feel any better, it's 7:40am here in London and it's raining, dark and miserable.

If you've only been there two weeks, you need to give it more time. Indulge in some British delights; Dairy Milk and PG Tips. :)

Re: Homesick!
 

I've been here a year and 5 days. I was fine until my parents came this week. When they left yesterday I was numb. Completely different from when I left them at the hotel at Heathrow that year ago. Guilty that I'd taken their grandkids away from them.

I know people say you go through various stages of homesickness/grief. I'd not really encountered any of them until now.

I don't think it's whether you belong or not (though you may have ideas on that). Good luck though - hang in there!

Re: Homesick!
 

For me it's normally overcome when I return to the UK for a few days.

Back in Blighty at the moment and am already looking forward to returning to the States.

Re: Homesick!
 

I left home 30 years ago, and have been missing it quite a bit over the last few months and depressed because I just don't see the possibility of a visit back any time in the future. :(

Re: Homesick!
 

How's the job going? The first job I had when I came over sucked big time, my boss was an utter ar$€hole (and British, so I'm not offending any locals in stating that fact .... and no, it's not just an opinion :D ) and it made me feel very unsettled, I'm not sure that it was home sickness, but I was stressed and couldn't sleep, so I was fatigued, which made it hard to concentrate, which affected my work, which stressed me more. I lasted eight months before I left, though I had actually decided to leave more than two months earlier. It might have been different had we found a home, but our house in London wasn't selling, and most of our stuff was in storage so those were more sources of stress. That was the only time I have ever quit a job without having one to go to.

Honestly, I'd say you haven't been hear long enough yet, barely enough time to unpack, much less to settle. Once you get stuck into your work and a daily routine, things will likely settle down for you, but I seem to recall you said that you were coming for two years (?), so I'd focus on that time horizon and get the most out of the experience you can both in your job and living in the SF area. It's a great opportunity, so don't let the stress of arriving and unpacking start to eat away at you! :)

Re: Homesick!
 

Everyone reacts differently, I've found, and not always at similar times. I take it that you didn't have the same reactions when you lived in other countries?

I've been here 20 months now, had one trip back a year ago to for the UK celebration of our marriage for a week, talk on Skype to my brother and parents, but I don't miss the UK at all (at the moment/yet). I can't even attribute it to friendships etc, as I've barely made any - I work from home remotely for an Isle of Man company, so don't see anyone during the day, and the most I've got with meeting other people is that I've found a pub in SLC that has the official Arsenal fan club meet at it for games on TV :lol:

I do think that some people hit the homesickness button a little earlier in the US than maybe other countries, partly because we Brits may have this idea that it'll be closer to the UK thanks to TV, movies, etc - when, in fact, there are a lot of little (and not so little) differences that we aren't expecting.

Re: Homesick!
 

Homesickness comes and goes, try not to worry about it too much, as things sound like they are going resonably well for you otherwise, going by your opening sentence. You're probably starting to feel it now just because you have hit a routine and the excitment of moving has worn off somewhat.

It didn't hit me until I'd been out here two years, after we went back to the UK for a visit, then it got bad again a couple of years after that. I have slowly trained myself to get over it to the point where I still miss the UK but it isn't a longing to return, rather just a fond memory of when I lived there.

Pulaski has a good point about work, it wasn't really until I switched to a new job last autumn where I was really able to let go of the homesickness, though it had bee getting better up to that point.

Stick it out and eventually it'll get easier to deal with again.

Re: Homesick!
 

If I remember rightly you're not here permanently? View it in terms of what you will get out of it.

I have been through all the varieties of homesickness, that feeling of anxiety is awful and I had it for years. Personally I can only deal with it now by believing I will get away at some point.

Chin up.

Re: Homesick!
 

Me too! I live in hope;)

Re: Homesick!
 

Two weeks is very early in your settling process. Have you had a "Honeymoon" phase yet? (See Wikipedia's definition of stages of Culture shock below.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock

I myself skipped the honeymoon phase in one country our family moved to. (Not the US or the UK.) Several misadventures & problems occurring immediately on our arrival wiped it out, I think. We were forced to take horrible housing (with tiny, dark rooms) that I didn't like, but nothing else was possible, plus my husband had a nightmare commute to work. Have you had a difficult time with job or housing or both? That can really do it.

After a while things usually improve. The third year we lived in that damp dark house, the landlord chpped down some nearby tall trees & suddenly we had light & air that circulated, a transformation of sorts that made a real difference to my state of mind. Hope something similar happens for you....

Re: Homesick!
 

:drinkwine:

Regards, JEff

Re: Homesick!
 

I am back now after five years. I found the first two went quickly with all the new stuff to do. I survived by buying familiar stuff- World Market sell Cadburys chocolate and biscuits and Heinz beans etc. Wholefoods and Trader Joes sold cheese and some other passable foodstuffs similar to back home. I downloaded a programme to allow me to watch UK TV and connected my computer to the TV, so managed to keep up with what's going on. Now, let me see! Food, TV, is there anything else? If you miss anything from M&S, they do international shipping, clothes not food. God, I sound like a typical expat! I loved my time there, and made lots of friends, but also needed familiar stuff so I could feel I was holding onto my identity!

Re: Homesick!
 

I think some people just shouldn't be expats. Nothing wrong with them, and nothing wrong with people who can't wait to leave where they are and go live somewhere else. Different strokes for different folks.

Regards, JEff

Re: Homesick!
 

:D

Re: Homesick!
 

I've lived here for 15 years and, apart from the odd moments, I can honestly say that I haven't really felt homesick. Yes, there are times when I miss not being close to family, but overall, life's been good!

Like Jeff says, diff'rent strokes, etc.

I'm just glad I didn't turn into Bob! :eek: ;)

Re: Homesick!
 

I like the occasional thing that reminds me of home like I just discovered that Fresh & Easy sell back bacon, and BevMo across the road sell bottled ales, and I now make my own Indian curries. But apart from missing family, I just get on with what's here. There's so much new that it'll still be another year or three before I get bored! Walking up to the mailbox just now in blazing sunshine, supposedly only 23 degrees but feels much warmer, but am happy because of the lovely weather (one of my few conditions on moving to the US was that it would have to be California - or not at all).

Re: Homesick!
 

Yeah , me too.

I think I've been through every emotion in the book in the 2 years I've been here. From almost falling apart when I first arrived, through really wanting to go back, through really loving it here.

I'm finally settled now and I recently went back to the UK for a visit and have realized, the US is where I'm meant to be from now on. It doesn't fix everything though. Same shit, different place, but at least it's a sunny place :D

Re: Homesick!
 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm the weather thing. I live in Adelaide, Australia, which has practically an identical climate to LA, if perhaps a little hotter. At first it was always a pleasure, no degree was too hot. But after a few years it does wear off a little, I promise. We're in what here they amusingly call "autumn", and have been for about six weeks now. We're 2.5 months from "winter". I cannot remember the last time it rained (literally), there's been no cloud cover at all for around three weeks with temps high twenties and today 31.

You can start to go a little...............crazy!!:eek: Rain, I want rain dammit!!!

Re: Homesick!
 

Ha ha. Towards the end of last summer, we'd been without rain for about 6 months. I was driving and there was a small sprinkling. I stopped the car at the side of the road to get out and feel it. :rofl:

Re: Homesick!
 

We've just moved from Victorville; spent nearly a year there. Scorching hot in summer and freezing cold overnight during the winter - and barely any rain. Yes, the kids were dancing in the street when it did rain but so far I haven't missed it. Now we're in greener and more moderate climes (and consequently more grey days) which should strike a more pleasant balance.

Re: Homesick!
 

I hope so. We could move to the hills for the same reason, but we like the metropolitan life, so ............. no rain for us!

Re: Homesick!
 

Where are you now?

Re: Homesick!
 

Walnut, between the 10 and 60 near the 57.

(Just fixed my location)

Re: Homesick!
 

I am not familiar with that area but it sounds nice on Google! Hope you enjoy your new home.

Re: Homesick!
 

That is know as smog in LA. In the bay area it is morning fog and burns off much more quickly than what is in LA.

Re: Homesick!
 

I simply mean rainy days. There are more rainy days in LA than up in Victorville.

Re: Homesick!
 

You CA peeps do know that there's a LOT more to the USA, right?

It's kinda like all the Brits that go to Disneyworld in Florida and think it's the States!

Re: Homesick!
 

That's where OP is living.

Re: Homesick!
 

I know that. My comment was in reference to GeoffM's.

Re: Homesick!
 

There's so much in CA alone though, I suppose it's hard not to forget about the rest of the country.

Much like living in Texas, I'd imagine.

Re: Homesick!
 

I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to either! :confused: If you mean "why only California" then:
1. Relatives here
2. Sunny and dry, not humid
3. Coastal
4. Theme parks
5. Mountains (ski and surf on the same day if so inclined!)
6. Nearly mid-way between the UK (my family) and the Philippines (wife's family). Direct flights to both.

Not many other places fit those criteria. At the risk of sounding like a Orlando vacationer, I have travelled by land through something like 44 of the lower states, and actually stayed in probably half of those. Mostly by Amtrak but also car and bus. Each have their own attractions but California was my favourite.

Re: Homesick!
 

I believe OP is on L1, so if Guindalf is suggesting he move to another state I don't know how feasible that is.

Re: Homesick!
 

Give it a few more weeks and call it acclimatising.

Plus you haven't had the chance to figure out the fun quirky places in and around where you are are. It's all that every day boring crap that just gets you down.

Sure, it's home sickness, but you know you're only here for x amount of time, so try not to dwell on it and enjoy what you won't get the chance to other wise.

Easier said than done, I know, but chin up....plus BE is a good place to bitch about shit without offending the locals :)

Re: Homesick!
 

Give it a few more weeks and you'll be acclimating, not blimmin acclimatising!
Seriously, I feel for you, it's hard, and can't help noticing although I was the poster girl for homesickness, some of the guys are a whole lot better at empathy, as opposed to my contribution of just telling you where to buy good chocolate. Maybe chocolate was my way of dealing with homesickness, explains a lot!

Re: Homesick!
 

:lol:

autocorrect, brilliant ain't it :/

Re: Homesick!
 

Sorry folks for a 'no show' after the initial post, and many thanks to all you wonderful peep for the replies - much appreciated.

Had a family tragedy, two of my cousins/best mates - both brothers, in their 30's and newly married, died in a road accident in the Middle East. We are deeply shocked and saddened and it’s all too difficult to console the family. Their vehicle collided at an insane speed with the water tank according to the police judging by what’s left of the car, we still don’t know the details and the lorry driver is in a critical condition in the hospital nevertheless a great loss :(

Re: Homesick!
 

I'm kind of missing the miserable weather, moaning about it and using it as an excuse to sit at home in front of the TV watching footie on the weekends. Wife & kids all too into the great weather here and keep pestering to ‘let’s go out it is lovely out there’! I’m a terrible husband and dad, eh :o

Kids missing the Robinsons and the occasional dose of strawberry ribena, apart from that they are having fun and cheeky gits fooling around folks here - one of our neighbors, a retired couple were out gardening and said hi to the kids - kids replied with a big hiya Grandma and she was so happy with the gesture that brought a lot of sweets and baked a cake for them, cheeky buggers! A refreshing change from blighty, we all have forgotten about the little things in life and there is no community indulgence and/or integration in Britain anymore, folks tell us that Britain was once renowned for this piece regardless of ethic background, faith etc, pity that we don’t see that anymore and we are all too busy in our own lives and restrictive social circles. I can’t remember the last time someone in the Starbucks/Costa in London or Edinburgh greeted me or I was greeted by a total stranger on the street but here in the US or at least in California the community feeling and the common courtesy is very much alive. – anyway that’s a separate discussion.

Re: Homesick!
 

Same here :o, skype is there but I am aware how the folks feel - my dad is still busy doing his stuff after the retirement otherwise I would have asked them to live with us - or maybe they are waiting for someone to ask that question!!

Re: Homesick!
 

Wonderful, colleagues are brilliant, the leadership is engaged and supportive- so far a warm welcome and receiving a lot of support, and the client base is great. The onboarding is very structured and meaningful. The only issue is commuting, it is quicker and convenient to drive than switching to alternative mode however 80/90miles round trips every day is draining.

From experience (it’s very limited though), am getting the vibe that the American folks are more ‘chilled’ than the expat community, a particular section is making me nervous already as I have never worked with them before but am all positive and it’s part of the experience hopefully there will be no ’exciting’ moments.