Originally Posted by fatbrit

Follow it through from this starting page.

You may not need to actually step foot in a court, but I think you'll find you need to do the counseling.

P.S. Time you arranged a meet-up for our little group!

Originally Posted by Irn-bru

I am sorry you are going through this. In a foreign land etc away from family etc Any chance your Mum or someone come and be with you till you get ck?
Wasn't a total surprise as your posts before you went on holiday seemed to hint/point to problems.

I am glad you are working amicably together for the sake of your son, hope it continues for all your sakes. Thinking of you and wish you all the best. And hopefully you will be home soon with your support network to help you.

Originally Posted by Partystar

My family have offered to come over to be with me, but I said no as I don't want to disrupt their lives. We've not really had many problems, so I'm not sure what you mean about my previous posts. We actually are very good together, but when one person wants to live here & the other can't stand it, there's not much that can be done.

Winning the lottery could have worked!!! Then we could live in both countries & come & go as we please!!!

Thanx for the well wishes!

Originally Posted by Elvira

Please do not leave without becoming a USC first!!

Originally Posted by Elvira

Liz, Sweetheart - I know you just want to be gone and go back to the UK......... but think for a minute...

Am I right in thinking that you are not yet a citizen?

Please do not leave without becoming a USC first!!

Originally Posted by Partystar

Well a lot of you 'regulars' know my story, so as you know we were planning on moving back to England in about 2 years. Well, that time has been pushed forward to the next few weeks!

I arrived back from my holiday back in England a few weeks ago. I asked my husband again if he really wanted to move back to England in 2 years time. His answer was a long pause & then a 'No'. Ever since I told him I couldn't live in America, he said he would move back to England with us, after he'd done a couple of years in his new job as a fireman.

Well that was all a lie. He finally admitted that he didn't want to go back to England & that he just said he would, because he really thought he could change my mind about living here. While we were away, he finally figured out that I wasn't going to change my mind & decided he was going to tell me after his graduation ceremony, but as I asked him first, he decided to tell me then.

He also said he didn't want the hassle of finding another job as a fireman over in England, as he'd worked so hard to get the one he's got now. He admitted that he was choosing his career over his family. He said a lot of other things too, which don't really make sense, however, they're his reasons.

I was furious & so upset, I really have no one here to turn to. I have a lot of friends here, but they're not the great friends I have back home. I had one amazing friend here, who I clicked with straight away, but she moved to Texas about a month ago, so I was pretty much alone. I just wanted to go back home.

Then the paranoia set it, what if he tried to stop me moving back to England with our son? Questions & scenarios buzzed around my head for days, I couldn't eat & I couldn't sleep. I put on 7lbs back in England, eating all that good food. I lost it all in the couple of days after this happened; it was the best diet I'd ever been on!

I looked up as much info as I could, but without getting a lawyer, it was hard to find the information I needed online. So with all that I decided to tell Devin what I was thinking, about going home. We sat down & wrote out a little 'contract' with regards to our son, our home, our possessions etc. After that I felt much better, the paranoia subsided slightly & I felt that, although it wasn't a proper legal document, it should stand for something. We signed & kept a copy.

So with that in mind, the divorce is going quite smoothly at the moment. Apparently I should be able to leave quite soon. We are both trying to be fair, for the sake of our son.

I'll keep you all updated with our progress & will let you know when we're going back home. If anyone has any advice or any info on shipping, I'd love to hear it. I also wanted to say how great it has been to have BE & all of you here, it's been a great help & I really appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Mallory

Elvira speaks a lot of sense about the citizenship thing.

When Tyler is about 16 years old, and he comes over for his summer visit to see his dad, they will go camping, hunting, fishing and take trips to the fire station to meet the guys. What if doesn't want to go home? You can't make a 16-year-old do anything......Tyler with a US passport, and you without citizenship. Scary.

Originally Posted by Mallory

Elvira speaks a lot of sense about the citizenship thing.

When Tyler is about 16 years old, and he comes over for his summer visit to see his dad, they will go camping, hunting, fishing and take trips to the fire station to meet the guys. What if doesn't want to go home? You can't make a 16-year-old do anything......Tyler with a US passport, and you without citizenship. Scary.

Originally Posted by Partystar

Well a lot of you 'regulars' know my story, so as you know we were planning on moving back to England in about 2 years. Well, that time has been pushed forward to the next few weeks!

I arrived back from my holiday back in England a few weeks ago. I asked my husband again if he really wanted to move back to England in 2 years time. His answer was a long pause & then a 'No'. Ever since I told him I couldn't live in America, he said he would move back to England with us, after he'd done a couple of years in his new job as a fireman.

Well that was all a lie. He finally admitted that he didn't want to go back to England & that he just said he would, because he really thought he could change my mind about living here. While we were away, he finally figured out that I wasn't going to change my mind & decided he was going to tell me after his graduation ceremony, but as I asked him first, he decided to tell me then.

He also said he didn't want the hassle of finding another job as a fireman over in England, as he'd worked so hard to get the one he's got now. He admitted that he was choosing his career over his family. He said a lot of other things too, which don't really make sense, however, they're his reasons.

I was furious & so upset, I really have no one here to turn to. I have a lot of friends here, but they're not the great friends I have back home. I had one amazing friend here, who I clicked with straight away, but she moved to Texas about a month ago, so I was pretty much alone. I just wanted to go back home.

Then the paranoia set it, what if he tried to stop me moving back to England with our son? Questions & scenarios buzzed around my head for days, I couldn't eat & I couldn't sleep. I put on 7lbs back in England, eating all that good food. I lost it all in the couple of days after this happened; it was the best diet I'd ever been on!

I looked up as much info as I could, but without getting a lawyer, it was hard to find the information I needed online. So with all that I decided to tell Devin what I was thinking, about going home. We sat down & wrote out a little 'contract' with regards to our son, our home, our possessions etc. After that I felt much better, the paranoia subsided slightly & I felt that, although it wasn't a proper legal document, it should stand for something. We signed & kept a copy.

So with that in mind, the divorce is going quite smoothly at the moment. Apparently I should be able to leave quite soon. We are both trying to be fair, for the sake of our son.

I'll keep you all updated with our progress & will let you know when we're going back home. If anyone has any advice or any info on shipping, I'd love to hear it. I also wanted to say how great it has been to have BE & all of you here, it's been a great help & I really appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Tootsie Frickensprinkles

While that's all true, Tyler is dual nationality and nothing will change that. All the issues of child support and visitation etc etc will be the same whether she obtains USC or not. If PartyStar does not want to live in the US now, she's not going to want to in 10,15, 20 years .. even more so I would imagine.

If Tyler chooses as an adult to go over to the US and work once qualified she could at that point look at him sponsoring her should the need arise. The risk of him wanting/or being able to move over with dad before he was of the age to do this in no way outweighs the desire and need to get back to the UK now. Sounds to me like her mind is made up, and the sooner she gets back on her feet with all family as settled as can be, the better. Both short and long term.

Waiting three to five years imo greatly increases the risk of getting stuck in the US. I would tend to agree with Amy, I'd be trying to get out ASAP and deal with the divorce calmly but at distance if legally possible. I've seen amicable separations go terribly bitter too. Although I would think the fact that Devin has said he never wanted to go back to the UK, he just said he would thinking she would change her mind in time would have a huge impact on his emotional or moral decision making.

I am very sorry to hear about this Partystar. It's a devastating shame when an otherwise strong partnership is negated in this manner.

All the best for your move home.