Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > USA
Reload this Page >

Goodbye USA!

Goodbye USA!

Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:01 pm
  #1  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Goodbye USA!

Well a lot of you 'regulars' know my story, so as you know we were planning on moving back to England in about 2 years. Well, that time has been pushed forward to the next few weeks!

I arrived back from my holiday back in England a few weeks ago. I asked my husband again if he really wanted to move back to England in 2 years time. His answer was a long pause & then a 'No'. Ever since I told him I couldn't live in America, he said he would move back to England with us, after he'd done a couple of years in his new job as a fireman.

Well that was all a lie. He finally admitted that he didn't want to go back to England & that he just said he would, because he really thought he could change my mind about living here. While we were away, he finally figured out that I wasn't going to change my mind & decided he was going to tell me after his graduation ceremony, but as I asked him first, he decided to tell me then.

He also said he didn't want the hassle of finding another job as a fireman over in England, as he'd worked so hard to get the one he's got now. He admitted that he was choosing his career over his family. He said a lot of other things too, which don't really make sense, however, they're his reasons.

I was furious & so upset, I really have no one here to turn to. I have a lot of friends here, but they're not the great friends I have back home. I had one amazing friend here, who I clicked with straight away, but she moved to Texas about a month ago, so I was pretty much alone. I just wanted to go back home.

Then the paranoia set it, what if he tried to stop me moving back to England with our son? Questions & scenarios buzzed around my head for days, I couldn't eat & I couldn't sleep. I put on 7lbs back in England, eating all that good food. I lost it all in the couple of days after this happened; it was the best diet I'd ever been on!

I looked up as much info as I could, but without getting a lawyer, it was hard to find the information I needed online. So with all that I decided to tell Devin what I was thinking, about going home. We sat down & wrote out a little 'contract' with regards to our son, our home, our possessions etc. After that I felt much better, the paranoia subsided slightly & I felt that, although it wasn't a proper legal document, it should stand for something. We signed & kept a copy.

So with that in mind, the divorce is going quite smoothly at the moment. Apparently I should be able to leave quite soon. We are both trying to be fair, for the sake of our son.

I'll keep you all updated with our progress & will let you know when we're going back home. If anyone has any advice or any info on shipping, I'd love to hear it. I also wanted to say how great it has been to have BE & all of you here, it's been a great help & I really appreciate it.
Partystar is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:10 pm
  #2  
Who?
 
jumping doris's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Stepford
Posts: 3,098
jumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond reputejumping doris has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

I don't know what to say except I'm sorry it's all gone wrong.
What a horrible time to go through...
At least it seems you will be able to go home without problems.
jumping doris is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:14 pm
  #3  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: UK-Indonesia-US
Posts: 1,828
Adnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond reputeAdnams has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Good luck with your future and fingers crossed for you too.
Adnams is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:16 pm
  #4  
 
Sugarmooma's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 18,971
Sugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond reputeSugarmooma has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Oh Partystar I am so sorry.
Sugarmooma is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:19 pm
  #5  
Greatly Missed. RIP
 
DollyLlama's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Middle of the Mountains
Posts: 3,521
DollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond reputeDollyLlama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Sorry to hear this, just want to wish you all the very best
DollyLlama is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:24 pm
  #6  
Unmitigated Gall
 
another bloody yank's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: it's still too dark to tell
Posts: 16,162
another bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond reputeanother bloody yank has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

I hope you find happiness.
another bloody yank is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:25 pm
  #7  
 
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,474
username 34 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

I'm so sorry to hear all that partystar .... are you guys divorcing because of the move back to the UK or was divroce on the cards anyway?

it sounds to be amicable at least which is a huge blessing - but sad that he's going to miss out on seeing his son growing up in another country.
as you said - he has his own reasons I guess.

good luck PS - everyone deserves to be happy!
username 34 is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:27 pm
  #8  
Lapine Member
 
snowbunny's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
snowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond reputesnowbunny has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Edited down to:

get started on the process now

Last edited by snowbunny; Jun 25th 2007 at 8:44 pm.
snowbunny is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:31 pm
  #9  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
britvic's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
britvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond reputebritvic has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Oh my dear Liz I nearly fell off my chair while reading your news so sorry to hear that, you come across as a very strong young Lady and I'm hoping that will be enough to see you through this tuff time.
britvic is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:34 pm
  #10  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Thank you everyone, your kind words really do help.
Partystar is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:38 pm
  #11  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Originally Posted by islandmom View Post
I'm so sorry to hear all that partystar .... are you guys divorcing because of the move back to the UK or was divroce on the cards anyway?

it sounds to be amicable at least which is a huge blessing - but sad that he's going to miss out on seeing his son growing up in another country.
as you said - he has his own reasons I guess.

good luck PS - everyone deserves to be happy!
No, divorce was not on the cards, we still love each other, but I can't be happy living here & he doesn't think he can be happy living in England, so this is really the only answer. He said he's not even willing to try living in England & that he's made up his mind. He may regret it later, but I'm not about to wait around to see if that happens.

The other reasons are that he wants to go hunting, fishing, camping etc, which doesn't make sense to me, as you can do all that in England! But like I said, those are his reasons.
Partystar is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:45 pm
  #12  
Another gloomy day!
 
hayley82's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Hoboken, NJ
Posts: 132
hayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of lighthayley82 is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. I'm here if you need to talk.
hayley82 is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:45 pm
  #13  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Originally Posted by snowbunny View Post
How long were you in England, PS?

I'd seriously think about returning NOW so that your child could be considered domiciled in the UK.

Trust me, your husband may think he's okay with having Devin live in England, but his parents probably won't be. IIRC you were in England for a good while. It might be enough to return NOW and have Devin domiciled in England before you have to hand in his passport etc .... the lawyers will definitely tell your ex to fight the move, unless he doesn't want to pay child support.

Key question for me is do Devin and dad have any kind of good relationship because it's very hard to break that bond and it will become more important as Devin gets older.

Is it possible for you to live a few months in the UK without divorcing so that your husband can reconsider moving over? If you divorce, you won't be able to sponsor him for a UK visa.

This is such a tough, tough choice. I personally can't see the difference between being a firefighter here and being a firefighter in England, but....
Just 6 weeks. (btw, my husband is Devin, our son is Tyler! )

Not sure what you mean by hand in his passport. Or about paying child support. Devin is willing to pay child support & he's fine with Tyler moving back to England with me.

Devin & Tyler do have a good relationship, but the problem is, Devin hasn't been around much since Tyler was born. He's been working full time, overtime, going to college etc, so Tyler is more attached to me, than his dad.

I suggested us going back to England, like a trial separation, but he's adamant that he won't want to move to England. I'm not about to wait around to see what he does after we've gone, he's made his choice, I'm not going to try to change his mind. I've waited around too long as it is.
Partystar is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:47 pm
  #14  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Originally Posted by britvic View Post
Oh my dear Liz I nearly fell off my chair while reading your news so sorry to hear that, you come across as a very strong young Lady and I'm hoping that will be enough to see you through this tuff time.
Cheers Vic! Guess I'll be seeing you sooner than I thought. I'd love to meet up with you once you're back over there & settled in, our boys would probably get on well too!
Partystar is offline  
Old Jun 25th 2007, 8:48 pm
  #15  
Back where I belong!
Thread Starter
 
Partystar's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Partystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond reputePartystar has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Goodbye USA!

Originally Posted by hayley82 View Post
Oh Liz, I'm so sorry. I'm here if you need to talk.
Cheers Hayley! I was just going through our bank receipts the other day & came across our NYC bar bill, great stuff! Such a fun trip.
Partystar is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.