ironporer

Not taking sides at all but I do hope that one party or the other gives a bit- as the child is the one who is going to be hurt the most. Either adult can tough it out and live in the other's country- if they are truly interested in the well being of the child...which I question.

snowbunny

Nah, he traded in his mother for his first wife.

britvic

I can understand where your coming from just by reading this thread though the men seem to see thing's differently. The Lady in question has told us that she has good family support back home

Elvira

It appears that he is taking little or no interest in either his wife or his son.

Moreover, he had faithfully promised her that their life in the US would be purely temporary and that they would be moving back to the UK in about 18 months' time - a promise he now reneged on.

So I for one cannot see any reason for her staying, if he is willing to grant her full custody of the child. What kind of future would her son have with a father who is never there and a mother who is miserable and thousands of miles away from her support network.

TruBrit

well said!

just catching up partystar as i've been away for a few weeks... i know you have lots of family in the uk to help out with your son and so you go girl and all the best

DollyLlama

Hello!
Are you all unpacked and organised then?

TruBrit

well hello to you too!

with a headache like i've got i'm amazed i'm on here

Jerseygirl

Too much champers at 35,000 feet?

Partystar

Excellent post, that's exactly how I feel. We have mutual friends who have heard him talking about moving back to England, some of them even frequent this board! Plus I've said about a hundred times on this board alone, that Devin is never around.

I do feel awful that my son will basically grow up without a father, but that's pretty much how things are right now anyway. We will be surrounded by family members when we move back to England, they are wonderful, however annoying they are at times!!!

ironporer

Seems to me like both Mom and Dad need a good kick in the ass, and maybe stop worrying about what he said or she promised. The knew that an international relationship and that accomodations would need to be made. Then a child is born which adds a new responsibilty to the mix...one that both parents (though we can only hear the story from Mom's side) seem to be ignoring.

I know neither one and do not wish to single either out, except to say "shame on both of you for putting your wants (live in UK/ Be a firefighter in the US) ahead of the needs of the boy. You should both be embarrassed of yourselves.

britvic

scrubbedexpat097

I think we all need to stop giving our opinions...Partystar has never asked for them anyway.

Nobody but the two people involved in this marriage know what is really happening and it seems that they are being sensible, making amicable decisions and moving along.

I am all for the "family unit" of mum dad and kids but there is nothing worse for a child growing up if there is tension and anger between two parents who are only staying together for the child.

Let us stop assuming we know what is best....we are not in her position.

Good luck Liz and stay strong for all the new beginnings in your life.

cindyabs

Before he went back on active duty with the Army my ex was a volunteer fireman/EMT and then went on to take the training for paramedic-still as a volunteer.

Partystar

Funny you should say that, the needs of our son are better met in England, the list goes on & on, even Devin admits it's a better life there. He just doesn't want that life, he has chosen his career over his family, his words, not mine.

jumping doris

Things are never simple are they? We just have to make the decisions we feel are right for us at the time. Good luck.