Jaxbar

Having been here for just a few months I am still finding my feet, still living on savings and getting lost all the time. A family member wants to visit and I always think if someone comes you give them total hospitality take them for meals etc but I am not in a financial postition to do this. what have other people done how has it worked and what if i get a job? really would appreciate any advice .

Rushman

What is "etiqutte"?

Jaxbar

Its what we do in Bradford after we throw black pudding at people now be nice

woodsey

when people come to visit they pay for whatever they want to have, if they want to eat out, they pay for themselves, to be honest, they should actually take you out for a meal as a way of saying thanks for putting them up..
but seriously you shouldn't have any problems, we never really have..Our first visitors came when we'd only been here for 7 weeks, it was a really nice reminder of home once the initial excitement of being here had worn off, however I did want them to leave after maybe..2 hours..

Angry White Pyjamas

We tell ours that sure they can come visit...the hotel is just down the road and heres a car hire company number....come see us while you are over.

Patrick

my brother came over while I was still unemployed, he got lots of meals in and when we went out we cheap (ryans, ci ci's etc)

Leslie

How close is this family member? Is it somebody you can be completely honest about your situation with?

I don't know what your area is like but museums and parks are still the best places to take visitors, IMO. Check with your Chamber of Commerce and see what you can do on the cheap locally. Remember, they are coming to see you and get a taste of American life, any visitor worth their salt will offer to pay some of the expenses.

Home cooked meals and picnics are the epitome of gracious entertaining.

If you get a job, perhaps you could leave them with a car so they can explore on their own?

Jaxbar

Thanks you are right I wanted to see if i was on the right lines I am used to having a job and money I have worked out a budget and am being really careful. Just dont want to appear tight.

Angry White Pyjamas

The trouble is most visitors seem to forget that you are not on holiday and infact have a day to day life to tend to while they lounge around in the sun and drink beer.

dunroving

A collauge of mine (British) has a lot of visitors and often has to put up with some of them assuming they will be paid for, not contributing to groceries when the bill is double the usual, etc.

If they are good friends, I'd be up front with them about the situation - you will be very happy to see them but you are very concerned because you're still getting on your feet and won't be able to afford to go out with them etc. Good friends will know what to do.

looselips

I reiterate everything Woodsey said.

I have also come to realise that you can bust your arse for visitors and get minus nothing back in thanks or you can leave them to fend for themselves for the most part and.... well ....they fend for themselves.

I get a bottle of gin (and tonic) and a bottle of wine in, a few nibblies, I don't assume anything else and then if they want to go out I wait for an invite. Easy peasy.

I admit it has taken me 10 years of living here to get to this point! But you can learn from my mistakes!

Leslie

Taking them out to eat every night is completely unrealistic for any budget. Dinner and movies out should be (maybe) a one time thing and they should definitely pay for their part. Renting movies, cooking at home, and doing fun (cheap or free) activities during the day goes above and beyond the call of duty. The first and last days of their visit will probably be spent resting so you'll probably only have to plan a few outings. You'll be fine.

Rushman

That was very nice, considerate and thoughtful. Did you cut and paste that from someones website?

gruffbrown

Martha Stewarts

Rushman

You are so lucky I resisted the obvious