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-   -   The end ??? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/usa-57/end-362459/)

fatbrit Mar 20th 2006 6:32 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Any thoughts/opinions ??

America's your oyster! Think a move outta the mid-west might be the first step. Have some fun! As long as you keep the means for a ticket back home on you, where can you go wrong? And America really is the land of opportunity.

TouristTrap Mar 20th 2006 6:45 am

Re: The end ???
 
What fatbrit said.

Even if you don't want to stay permanently, move out to the land of the fruits and nuts or north of that to the even more fruits and nuts, or further north of that to the really fruity and nuttier :D

Single, no responsibilities, GC....man, what a blast :):)

You can always go back home in a year or two when you've had enough of seeing the place :)

anotherlimey Mar 20th 2006 6:56 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by fatbrit
America's your oyster! Think a move outta the mid-west might be the first step. Have some fun! As long as you keep the means for a ticket back home on you, where can you go wrong? And America really is the land of opportunity.

Take a road trip!

It's a nice way to see how nice the US really is.

BigDavyG Mar 20th 2006 6:58 am

Re: The end ???
 
Thanks everyone for your ideas.

I already tried the sheet of paper, list of pro's and con's thing but didn't get very far - maybbe I'll have another crack at that.
I'll also find out more about filing for leave of absence. I can usually make my mind up pretty quickly so maybe a few months back home would be all I need.
I do have a trip back home coming up in June, but I'd have to find somewhere to live until then - I guess the going home straight away thing stemmed from not wanting to go through any of that stuff, but I guess that 2 months isn't that long and it would be wise to give myself as many options as possible.

I suppose that I'm going to look like a bit of a twat is things with her can be fixed - I'll have to rejoin expats under a new user name :o :) - but the reality is that that isn't going to happen I'm afraid :(

Thanks again everyone - i really appreciate you taking some time to give me your input :)

Jerseygirl Mar 20th 2006 7:03 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Thanks everyone for your ideas.

I already tried the sheet of paper, list of pro's and con's thing but didn't get very far - maybbe I'll have another crack at that.
I'll also find out more about filing for leave of absence. I can usually make my mind up pretty quickly so maybe a few months back home would be all I need.
I do have a trip back home coming up in June, but I'd have to find somewhere to live until then - I guess the going home straight away thing stemmed from not wanting to go through any of that stuff, but I guess that 2 months isn't that long and it would be wise to give myself as many options as possible.

I suppose that I'm going to look like a bit of a twat is things with her can be fixed - I'll have to rejoin expats under a new user name :o :) - but the reality is that that isn't going to happen I'm afraid :(

Thanks again everyone - i really appreciate you taking some time to give me your input :)

Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time, enjoy your freedom, its her loss not yours.

anotherlimey Mar 20th 2006 7:06 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time, enjoy your freedom, its her loss not yours.

Yep... if you come to my wedding... I'll hook you up with some nice Latin piece of arse. :D

neil Mar 20th 2006 7:12 am

Re: The end ???
 
A good way of getting through being somewhere on your own (especially in a big city) is online dating. I did this in NY for quite a while with the idea that I would make some good friends. At one point I had 8 dates with different women within 2 weeks. Some of them became friends, some of them I never saw again, and one of them is now my wife. Interestingly as soon as I got engaged the ones who I thought were just friends disappeared, even though they knew I'd been dating her for over a year, but never mind as I have plenty of other friends now. I also got to find out about some cool hang outs that I wouldn't have found otherwise.

peacelover Mar 20th 2006 7:20 am

Re: The end ???
 
Really feel for you Davy, this sort of thing is hard enough in your own country let alone another one.

frrussre Mar 20th 2006 7:29 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Well, could this be it ??
Though I secured my green card under my own steam I primarily moved here to be with my USC girlfriend.
After a serious falling out at the weekend it looks like that is most likely over.

So what know ??
Well, the regulars on here will know that I'm currently job hunting as my current position sucks and I have been missing a lot of stuff about home.
The easiest thing for me to do now would be to move back home.
Obviously that would result in me losing my Green Card and the option to return to the US would not be available to me which makes any move back final - that would be it.

Any thoughts/opinions ??

Big DavyG, sorry to hear about your relationship problems. After all the effort you have put into getting your Greencard, I would seriously think long and hard, before abandoning. Why don't you set yourself a date, 6, 12, 18, 24 months, when you get near that time you can then make a sensible decision about going back or staying. Right now is a bit "Knee Jerk". Good luck.
Reg. Frank R.

Jerseygirl Mar 20th 2006 7:34 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by frrussre
Big DavyG, sorry to hear about your relationship problems. After all the effort you have put into getting your Greencard, I would seriously think long and hard, before abandoning. Why don't you set yourself a date, 6, 12, 18, 24 months, when you get near that time you can then make a sensible decision about going back or staying. Right now is a bit "Knee Jerk". Good luck.
Reg. Frank R.

Hiya Frank, where've ya been? Thought you might have got lost in that apartment of yours what with all that space an 'all. Anyway nice to see ya back. :)

Sorry Davy didn't mean to pinch your thread but I have posted twice or is it two times already.

frrussre Mar 20th 2006 7:39 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time, enjoy your freedom, its her loss not yours.

Hi Jersey!
Sometimes, the bones get stuck in your teeth.
Reg. Frank R.

blaze Mar 20th 2006 7:40 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Well, could this be it ??
Though I secured my green card under my own steam I primarily moved here to be with my USC girlfriend.
After a serious falling out at the weekend it looks like that is most likely over.

So what know ??
Well, the regulars on here will know that I'm currently job hunting as my current position sucks and I have been missing a lot of stuff about home.
The easiest thing for me to do now would be to move back home.
Obviously that would result in me losing my Green Card and the option to return to the US would not be available to me which makes any move back final - that would be it.

Any thoughts/opinions ??

Davy, Davy, Davy!!!, What on earth are we going to do with you! :) . There was one point during my marriage, many years ago ,when my USC husband and I thought that our relationship could not be salvaged. We were going through some rough times and we saw it as the only way out. After we had been to a lawyer and started to find out what we needed to do we panicked and realized that whatever the problems were we would find a way to fix them because we couldn't bear to be apart. The minute all of this started happening I went into complete self survival mode. I started calling shipping companies, deciding what I wanted to take back to Britain and what I could live without, started trying to find out property prices in my hometown, everything that I would need to leave and be on my own.
When my husband saw that I was getting on and figuring out what I needed to do, he was emotionally distraught. I think he thought somehow that I would'nt leave, but I had pulled myself together (even though I was devastated) and carried on. We spent a lot of time talking, crying, thinking and decided that we couldn't be apart.
The point that I'm trying to make is that you must not do anything in haste, if your relationship is truly over then you need to think of you. Rushing into anything when you're in emotional turmoil is pointless because you will more often than not make the wrong decision.
Posters have made very good suggestions to you but it is up to you to figure out what's right. I think going home for a while to see if that's where you want to be is a great suggestion. Sometimes you can see things more clearly when you are not in the immediate vacinity of the problem.
I hope that you figure out what you want and make an informed decision as opposed to a hasty one and I wish you all the luck in the world. :) BIG HUG! :D

Englishmum Mar 20th 2006 8:03 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time, enjoy your freedom, its her loss not yours.


.....and talking of plenty of fish in the sea.....you might catch one here!

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/

:)

britontour Mar 20th 2006 8:49 am

Re: The end ???
 
Sounds like your in need of a good beer session :beer:

ladyofthelake Mar 20th 2006 9:19 am

Re: The end ???
 

Originally Posted by BigDavyG
Well, could this be it ??
Though I secured my green card under my own steam I primarily moved here to be with my USC girlfriend.
After a serious falling out at the weekend it looks like that is most likely over.

Sorry to hear of your problems Davy. Are you really sure it's over? I've been there too, packing my bags, ready to ship myself and kids back home, but managed to salvege things. Is there anyway you can rescue your relationship? You know the saying...it's not over till the fat lady sings.


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