Originally Posted by Apfelkuchen

I sometimes find that chatting on Skype creates a strange sort of pressure. That probably sounds odd, but what I mean is that when you are physically together you don't necessarily need to keep up a constant stream of conversation - the physical presence and contact is in itself a form of communication. On Skype, on the other hand, you feel like you have to keep coming up with things to say, which isn't always easy when you've just been working all day. So one thing I do is keep a Word file on my computer and as I go through the day and think of things I want to tell my fiance (news, jokes that I think he would enjoy, newspaper articles I've read etc.) I make a note of them. That way when it comes to chatting (or writing an e-mail) I don't forget everything and always have lots of things to talk about. None of them are usually earth shattering, but they are just the little details that keep the communication interesting and make you feel close. I do this on my computer because I am at it working 85% of the day, but for other people a little notebook might be more appropriate.



It does. When my fiance is on dry land and we are talking on Skype at the time when I am going to bed I sometimes make him stay online until I fall asleep. A few times we did try having dinner together over Skype but it wasn't quite the same!

In some ways it is a blessing in disguise not being able to talk at night. In the beginning, before we became adept at handling the distance, we used to have some terrible fights when we talked late at night (for me). I would never want to hang up and go to sleep because I missed him so much, but I would also get more and more grumpy as I got tired and end up picking fights! Since he has moved from the east coast to the west it is easier. We now talk at about 10:30pm his time, which helps me to get up in the mornings!

A new apartment sounds exciting though. Are there things you can do to it decorating-wise to take your mind off the wait?

Originally Posted by frambuesas

I definitely like the staying online until I fall asleep thing! Sometimes my fiancé will read to me (which is unbelievably cute), 'cause often I find it hard to fall asleep. I think the connection and the story both help me drift off.

Originally Posted by Apfelkuchen

Haha, good! After I wrote it I thought maybe it sounded a bit intense!

The 'bedtime story' is a cute idea. I will have to try that one out.

Originally Posted by frambuesas

Yep, that definitely makes sense. Because my fiancé was here all summer, I can now see where he "should" be (even though we plan to live in America together), as he's already lived here, stayed in this room, walked into town with me and so on. I miss him a stupid amount. It has been easier since we've had the interview date, though, as we have something more concrete. Do you have any ideas on dates? What stage are you at?

We leave Skype on all the time at our respective houses (connected, I mean). We like to feel like we're in the same room. It's a little sad, especially with the juxtaposition of his having been here for so long and what it's like to really be together, but we've done it for almost a year now (in between times of seeing each other) and I wouldn't be without it. I guess I don't feel the same pressure of having to talk as Apfelkuchen described, as we're always "in the same room" if we're home. I do like the idea of writing specific things down though - great plan.

Originally Posted by Apfelkuchen

I sometimes find that chatting on Skype creates a strange sort of pressure. That probably sounds odd, but what I mean is that when you are physically together you don't necessarily need to keep up a constant stream of conversation - the physical presence and contact is in itself a form of communication. On Skype, on the other hand, you feel like you have to keep coming up with things to say, which isn't always easy when you've just been working all day.

Originally Posted by Apfelkuchen

In some ways it is a blessing in disguise not being able to talk at night. In the beginning, before we became adept at handling the distance, we used to have some terrible fights when we talked late at night (for me). I would never want to hang up and go to sleep because I missed him so much, but I would also get more and more grumpy as I got tired and end up picking fights!

Originally Posted by Apfelkuchen

A new apartment sounds exciting though. Are there things you can do to it decorating-wise to take your mind off the wait?

Originally Posted by frambuesas

Do you have any ideas on dates? What stage are you at?

Originally Posted by frambuesas

We leave Skype on all the time at our respective houses (connected, I mean). We like to feel like we're in the same room.

Originally Posted by katiekat

And it is a poor substitute but I think we'd all agree that it's better than nothing.

Originally Posted by ljaw2002uk

While we were apart we would watch movies together. We would download the same movie, and start it at exactly the same time. We would have our webcams running so we could see each other while we watched.

Originally Posted by katiekat

And we do the SAME THING with skype. It's on 24/7 unless he's on a train to London. It really does help us feel like we're closer, even though we know we aren't. It just puts his presence right in the room with me even if he's not around. I think maybe the reason we don't feel pressured to create conversation is simply because it's on all the time so we can talk when we need to and not try to cram in a day's worth of information into a few hours.

Oh! Second best part about finally having that interview date is totally having the motivation to clean house again so everything is ready for him to come out here. Now we just have to get through the interview without anything going wrong and life will be grand.

Originally Posted by nica

We're in the neverending "initial review" stage It's been 40 days since we received receipt of our I-130. So it'll probably be another 2-3 months before we hear anything about the next step.




I've actually been doing this a little bit as well... not intentionally, but we'll start talking on Skype and then both get distracted with various things and end up just sort of "in the room" with each other for hours. It's really nice to feel the presence of the other person without necessarily having to come up with conversation, like Apfelkuchen was saying.

Though I agree that it's a sad substitute for being physically in the same room... it's amazing how sweet it can be to just sit on a sofa together and read or watch a movie.

As an aside, isn't it annoying how normal couples take that stuff for granted? I like to think that all of us will have much happier relationships (at least temporarily) because of the wait. Thanks USCIS.

Originally Posted by ljaw2002uk

While we were apart we would watch movies together. We would download the same movie, and start it at exactly the same time. We would have our webcams running so we could see each other while we watched.

Originally Posted by frambuesas

It is a sad substitute but I think you're right: because the relationship has had to endure a lot already, and is based on talking, understanding and patience, I think it actually shows how strong you already are as a couple. So yes, thanks USCIS!

Originally Posted by frambuesas

We did this once too, but the slight delay on one of the two sides of the call made it quite frustrating!