dickiederson

Hi guys,

My fiance and I are getting married at the end of August in Devon before we move to The USA in September....

Obviously we can't have lots of wedding presents and extra clutter to bring with us so we're thinking of asking for money if anyone would like to give us something....

Can anyone think of a way to do this in Dollars from the UK when we don't yet have a US bank account?

Or should we just stick with Sterling?
Ta
Richard

Speedwell

Since you've just horrified the good Brits on the forum catatonic, the token American will have to step up. (Quick note: She's your fiancée, unless you plan to be a test case for gay marriage in Immigration, Richard.)

It's déclassé to ask for money in lieu of gifts, at least on the wedding invitation. Though I understand. Ask the bride to tell her mother and maid of honor, and let them spread the word. It's definitely dreadful manners to dictate what form of currency the gifts should be in. We do have currency exchange services over here in the colonies, as well.

dickiederson

Haha well I hate to be the one to inform you what a vulgar place the UK has become but asking for contributions to help fund a new life together, often by way of an amusing ditty or sentimental poem instead of picking from a wedding list of novelty pepper grinders and toasters from John Lewis' is pretty much de rigueur nowadays! Terrible isn't it....

Speedwell

haha, very well Emily Post was an American. Feel free to give her the good old two-fingered salute.

AmerLisa

Whatever way you ask can't exactly be tactful, just sayin.....

However, if you succeed, why not just accept sterling? It's easy enough to put it in your UK bank and do a transfer once you've set up your US bank. Or have a relative send it to you by wire.

Mummy in the foothills

Very bad manners to ask for money, even worse if it's put in a silly poem inside the invites.
Why not just say, no gifts needed due to the move and enjoy your last big get together with friends instead of asking for money. I bet most will still put some cash in a card.

kimilseung

finace/fiancee is obviously not a word that is top of my vocabulary list. This is news to me. I can't wait to pick up on it in others now.

AmerLisa

That sounds a lot nicer than asking and expecting money or gifts.

ChocolateBabz

Terrible bad manners blah blah blah, the last 2 weddings I have been invited to (in the UK) cash has been requested. Both brides and grooms were already living together so didn't need/want crystal decanters and a dozen toasters so they included a little tongue in cheek poem with their invitation along the lines of we don't want anything other than the pleasure of your company but if you really feel the need some cash towards our homeymoon (couple #1) or new house (couple #2) would be apprecitaed. You could do the same but substitute $$ for your new life abroad.

I for one appreciated not having to shop for something that was unwanted and just wrote a cheque

Jerseygirl

Although I do think it is terribly bad manners to ask for money...it seems to be more and more common these days...especially as most couples have already established a home together. My daughter has been to several weddings over the last few summers and almost every one of them have asked for money. One even asked for money towards a mini-moon rather than bridal shower gifts.

rpjs

I'd say it's acceptable in a case like this where the couple are emigrating and don't want to have to move lots of physical goods.

Perhaps a compromise would be to ask for gift cards for household goods stores to be sent to an address (relatives?) in the US. Before we moved over I'd sometimes send my brother in San Francisco a Williams-Sonoma gift card ordered online from the UK for birthdays or Christmas.

lizzyq

I bought my mother-in-law a gift card for Christmas while she was staying in the US with my sister-in-law. Quite a few major stores would not accept a UK credit/debit card to pay for a US gift card. Also be careful with companies like amazon - gift cards bought from amazon.co.uk cannot be redeemed on amazon.com and vice versa.

ChocolateBabz

Gift Cards would be doable if you know the type of things you will need when you get here and the stores you might want to shop in.

Jerseygirl

When my daughter got married US stores would not accept a UK credit card for online purchases. 2 people had their cards stopped by the UK CC company as they thought they were being fraudulently used.

Speedwell

That's why I told them to tell the bride's mother and maid of honor to get the word out that they can use money rather than gifts. That is tactful; they can say, "You know, since you asked what they'd like, I can tell you what would do them the most good...".