Desperately Seeking Support
 

Well, I'm living in the US. I moved here in 2006 and got married to an American guy. I was personally very solvent and independent. My husband had debt. I know, I know. What a fool I am. My husband has now decided that he is not the marrying kind and wants me to disappear. And if you haven't guessed already. All my money has gone, what a surprise. Anyway, I am able to stay where I am for several months, so I'm trying to stash as much cash as I can. My dilemma is do I go back to the UK, which will be an expensive transition or I'm thinking I will stay in the US. So the USA is my oyster. I've found it very hard to try to work this all out on my own without someone to talk to that will understand how it feels to be alone here. Can anyone suggest a really safe, friendly, great place that I might like to move to in the US to get a fresh start (I don't really like driving in the ice and snow, so would like to try to avoid that). I work from home so basically it's picking my life up and putting it down somewhere else. I still have my British spirit and determination, I will survive.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Sorry to hear of your difficult situation. Where are you now? You might want to stick with a familiar area rather than moving somewhere completely new - at least in the short term.

In the long term - why do you want to stay in the US.......... all by yourself? At some point - not necessarily now......... let the dust settle - you'll want to think about your long-term goals and aspirations, and where those are most likely to be met.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I'm in Cleveland, Ohio. I will be here for at least the next 8 months, so no decision is immediate. I'm just weighing up my options.
I thought I might stay here because I went through the trouble and expense of getting my green card. I also have possessions here. I wanted to try to build my finances up if I go back to the UK I will be starting from scratch.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Good plan. Get your citizenship and keep your options open :)

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Well, at least you're in a cheap city to get back on your feet.

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How long you had your greencard? Got the conditions removed yet?

Good luck!

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I've had my card since 2006. I expires in 2018. What conditions?

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

If you got it via marriage and you were married less than 2 years then you get a conditional card that's valid for 2 years. You have to remove those conditions up to 90 days before the 2 year period is up in order to get your full green card. It sounds like you did that since you would have got your 10 year card in 2008 which would have been right on the time frame. Are you eligible to file for citizenship now? It took mine about 3 months gong through the Cleveland office.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I'd like to thank everyone that has responded to my post. I feel revived already.

What are the real advantages of citizenship?

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

She can't be eligible now if she only got her GC in 2006 and the marriage is down the pan. She'd have to wait till 2011.

A bit worrying though that she doesn't know about the conditions - hope she got that taken care of.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

You are not alone in having been used and discarded. Let me introduce you to muni originally from the UK who married an American in Alaska and was left high and dry by a husband who also wanted her to disappear. She returned to the UK and is now regretting it.

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showp...79&postcount=1

First off, protect yourself financially, emotionally and physically. Get your hands on all the immigration document you can and also on any evidence of a marriage of good faith. Don't let on what you are doing, just do it.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

It might be bending the rules a little but if there is no divorce and they are still have the same address then maybe a good lawyer could get her in on the 3 year criteria.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Than you Rete. I'm going to see a lawyer next week. To make sure I'm am covered with my green card etc.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I have been married for more than 2 years. So what are these conditions you speak of. I do apologise, maybe I have been living in a bubble. But hey it's burst now and I have to make things right. Encouragement and positive advice is what I need now.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

If your card expires in 2018 then you must have gone through the process because they don't issue 12 year greencards.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Thank you Duncan. I was scratching my head, thinking how was it possible to have a card thru 2018 if there was all these things I hadn't done.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Just to get the entire picture, I will ask if you recall the first green card you received. Did it expire in 2 years? If so, then did you file form I-751 for removal of conditions 90 days before it expired?

You see a 2 year green card means you were a conditional permanent resident. The conditions were that you were still married to your spouse who sponsored you for the green card. If you were and could prove it, then the conditions were removed and you were sent a 10 year green card. On the surface that is what it sounds like what happened.

Your date to start counting toward naturalization is the date you first became a resident/green card holder.

You have all the support you need. We are all only a fingertip away.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Yes the file form I-751 went through. I then got issued another card which takes them to 2018. Thank you for taking your time to help.

Sorry I seem a bit foggy about everything, that's how my brain is at the moment. I didn't think that my card was an issue as it was good to 2018. A lot of the communications early seemed to cause a panic in the ranks. Which then also caused concern to myself. Anyway alls well that ends well. I'll get where I'm going.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Well my 2c worth

Same kinda situation won't go into all the details but I was alone out here and stuck it out, and I am so pleased that I did, this is my home and I am proud to live in the US infact I have just filed for my Citizenship :)

I think you have to ask yourself "what do I have to go back to in the UK"?
and "I have been given an opportunity to live in a country that some folk would give their right arm for, should I at least give it a go"?

I know when I was alone out here I did not know where or who to turn too, but I think I must of had a guardian angel.

Personally given your situation I would say give it a go at least until you get your citizenship. :D

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Thank you Poppy Girl The value of your reply is well worth more than 2c.

Don't the "details" get boring. I try to keep on the bright side.

I asked myself the exact questions you mentioned. There really is nothing more for me in the UK than there is here. And as I said earlier my $'s won't get me very far there. I also took into account that I had my green card and I am certainly not ungrateful for that. That is why I thought I would stay and give it a go. I have travelled a lot and gave up my life in the UK to go by myself to live in Honduras, so I am happy in my own company and quite adventurous. My confidence has just taken a knock recently.

Today, people like you are making a huge difference to me.

My initial question really was. Can anyone suggest a really great place to live in the US. Cleveland, Ohio is great, but I don't like dealing with the snow and driving in the ice. I can live with it but if I have a choice I would prefer not too. The US is my oyster, I would like to experience more of it.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I started in Illinois and moved to Louisiana and setttled in CA you might find a place that suits you based on your professional skills and interests :)

Funny I like my own company, and have travelled all over the world mainly alone so we have more in common then you might think.

Good luck to you :)

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Decide if it makes a difference if the state has income tax. If that is important then choose from one of the following states.

Alaska (you'll get a year end check from the government from oil revenues).
Florida (corporate only)
Nevada
New Hampshire (interest and dividends only plus business tax)
South Dakota (corporate only)
Texas
Washington (Business & Occupation only)
Wyoming

If you like weather similar to the UK (but normally not as bad), you could choose Washington or Oregon. This is moderate/expensive area.

If you like dry heat, then you should like California, Nevada, Arizona, or New Mexico. All except California are fairly inexpensive. Anything along the coast of California (except 100 miles north of San Francisco) is very mild but also very expensive. Inland cities such as Sacramento, Fresno, or Modesto are very hot, fairly inexpensive, and the cities are also fairly small.

Just about anywhere in the south will be relatively inexpensive but is humid.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

JGJ and Poppy Girl,

You are an inspiration to anyone going through bad times.

JGJ, you are not alone, good luck to you, x

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

No sales tax either...but property tax is through the roof.

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Hey there, glad you're finding some good thoughts and nice people here. :)

Besides Not Cleveland and no snow/ice, what sort of place do you like? We just had a very nice thread about Seattle/Portland/Pacific NW. Of course I'm biased, but this is the nicest part of the US.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I quite fancy Phoenix myself, but I've not even been there yet!

JGJ, about your finances, are you co-signed on any loans and credit cards with your husband?

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

[Alaska (you'll get a year end check from the government from oil revenues).]

No we dont pay income tax here, yes we get oil dividends after a full year qualifying period, last years $1,031 is way short of even my natural gas bill for the winter months. The cost of living is very high here. The only benefit in living in AK is that its beautiful and if you love long winters and indeed winter sports then its the place for you. The OP mentioned she didnt like driving on ice ... AK is not the place for her I still have over a foot of snow in my yard!

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Same here. When my marriage broke up after three years in the US it never crossed my mind to return to the UK -- I had a good job here, earning more than I could hope to in the UK, had made good friends, and was enjoying NYC. In that pre-Internet age, I had lost contact with all my friends in London pretty rapidly and I think that had created a sink-or-swim situation long before the marriage broke up, so I had no hesitation in picking up the pieces and moving on in my new country.

Wishing you the best.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

JGJ
I take my hat off to you, good on ya girl, i really feel for you and can understand totally what you are going through.
I came back to the UK and ohhhhh boy big mistake, so iam doing everything i can to get back again pronto.
I wish you well in your future.
Muni

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Great in the winter, but blooming hot in the middle of summer ( upto 120F)
Today low 80's.

There is growing British Community here and British food seems to be more available these days with the Fresh and Easy stores popping up.

San Diego has greater weather but costs and an arm and a leg.

Depends what you are looking for, what do you do to relax?:

shades_smile

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

I'm in Mississippi with horrible, horrible humidity in the summer and high temps (not quite that high), I think I'd take your temps over the humidity, they say your dry hot weather is not as bad as our humidity, but "they" might not be telling the truth!

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

The high heat in Phoenix is nowhere near as bad as it sounds; I went through my first summer there last year and it's quite bearable. I'm not saying you can go out and run around during the day, but - the summer nights are 'perfect' - you can sit outside at 9pm and there are NO bugs! You have to shift your outdoor activities to early morning or late evening for a few months. I've spent 25+ years in California, which has what I'd call 'near perfect' weather, but Phoenix is much, much better weather-wise from October through May. California (bay area, away from the coastal fog) has about 40% humidity in the summer; Florida, the south, and the east coast have about 80% humidity; Phoenix has about 15% humidity - makes all the difference in the world. Biggest issue with Phoenix is that, as a city, it's a disaster - no 'downtown core' to speak of (not one you'd want to live in or visit), and it's one big spread-out place. The attraction of Phoenix lies in some of the nicer suburbs (I'm in Scottsdale), and the proximity to mountains/lakes (which surprised me!).

I'd still recommend California as the best place to live, but - the Phoenix area has some kick-ass suburbs with house prices scraping the bottom of the barrel, so it's a good place to go if you are on a tight budget. I just bought a great condo (3 bed/2ba, 1300 sq. ft) in an upscale neighborhood for $150k. That wouldn't buy a driveway in any desirable part of CA!

To the OP - it really depends on your job skills, and desires. Can you work 'anywhere', and does your product or service have a ready market anywhere? If you can truly live/work 'anywhere', I'd say consider the Pacific North West if you can tolerate rain, California if you can afford it, Arizona if you hate rain and can appreciate the desert, and New Mexico if you don't mind cooler weather but still overall dry. To me, PNW is too similar to UK; the 'Southwest' is so radically different, I find it very appealing.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

That'd do it for me!
I just get eaten alive here, but I hate having to wear bug spray all the time so it does impact my gardening activites somewhat.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

For some strange reason your arrival in the valley stopped the real monsoon last summer -- storms with humidity. It's usually worse.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

But almost EVERYONE I spoke to there loves the short monsoon season in August! They all missed it last year. After MONTHS of no rain, I was really looking forward to the storms. I did see a few - they are AWESOME! Perfectly dry as you drive along the road; spectacular fork-lightening in the sky all around; then a massive downpour that is like nothing you've ever seen ... then dry again. One night, we went to a restaurant with big windows just so we could watch the lightening. It was dry on entering; torrential downpour while we ate; then dry by the time we left.

If I can make it through this summer, I'm almost definitely going to sell the CA home and buy something nicer in Scottsdale. Excluding the need for healthcare, I could probably quit working if I move there. Of course, then I really need to be sure I can cope with the summers since I won't have a job to keep me indoors! I'm going to look at properties in Flagstaff as a summer escape.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Sorry to hear about your situation!
the main advantage to citizenship is that it gives you options.
If you decide to move back to the UK for a couple of years then decide to come back to the US to live, you've got no immigration hassles.


Oh... and I've lived in NW Georgia for the last 3.5 years..... I love the climate (Not too humid at all..... just lovely long summers!)
The cost of living is reasonable here.... property prices are great at the moment!

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Forget Colorado, we have snow.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

We need more postings like this? showing true courage when things are not going well. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Desperately Seeking Support
 

Yeah but people can Ski!!!!!!