cold feet
Feb 26th 2019, 12:55 pm
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 8
cold feet
Hi all,,, soooo we were supposed to be moving to Florida before summer this year, but the process has been delayed a bit and so we should be moving the end of the year (fingers crossed) Anyways there is someone in our lives who continues to be a bit horrid about it all, I have a feeling that its mainly because her other half has always wanted to move but she refuses,, anyway,, I digress, the problem is though I think its starting to sink in with my husband, he is increasingly worried about shootings in schools, being 'alone' wondering if we should just stay here and other what I call normal concerns. However they have mainly cropped up since this other person keeps putting her 2 pennies worth in with the sly digs and comments. Has anyone else had issues with their halves having doubts? How do you deal with this, without upsetting people? 
Feb 26th 2019, 1:10 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 32,943
Re: cold feet
I am sure many people have doubts, definitely not something for everyone.
Feb 26th 2019, 4:37 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2014
Location: Witicha Falls Texas
Posts: 193
Re: cold feet
Originally Posted by Georgieb
Hi all,,, soooo we were supposed to be moving to Florida before summer this year, but the process has been delayed a bit and so we should be moving the end of the year (fingers crossed) Anyways there is someone in our lives who continues to be a bit horrid about it all, I have a feeling that its mainly because her other half has always wanted to move but she refuses,, anyway,, I digress, the problem is though I think its starting to sink in with my husband, he is increasingly worried about shootings in schools, being 'alone' wondering if we should just stay here and other what I call normal concerns. However they have mainly cropped up since this other person keeps putting her 2 pennies worth in with the sly digs and comments. Has anyone else had issues with their halves having doubts? How do you deal with this, without upsetting people?
its your decision if you don’t go you’ll regret it and if it doesn’t work out you can always come home.
Feb 26th 2019, 5:45 pm
#4
Peace onion
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: cold feet
Worried about shootings in schools? The "epidemic" of gun violence? Pfft. It's a myth. Gun violence has been trending down and is at its lowest level in 20 years. The US isn't even in the top 10,
despite what the media would have you believe. Your odds of dying in a school shooting are so infinitesimally small it's not even worth thinking about.
Contrasted with 100,000 deaths per year from doctor's malpractice....
It's normal to get cold feet - to um and err etc. I always get those before a move or a job change etc. If you don't try it, you'll regret it, and become resentful of your spouse. The other woman sounds jealous. Cook a snoot at her and do it. So many people come on this forum and would give their right arm to have the opportunity that is being afforded you. You would really be a fool to not make the most of it.
despite what the media would have you believe. Your odds of dying in a school shooting are so infinitesimally small it's not even worth thinking about.
Contrasted with 100,000 deaths per year from doctor's malpractice....
It's normal to get cold feet - to um and err etc. I always get those before a move or a job change etc. If you don't try it, you'll regret it, and become resentful of your spouse. The other woman sounds jealous. Cook a snoot at her and do it. So many people come on this forum and would give their right arm to have the opportunity that is being afforded you. You would really be a fool to not make the most of it.
Feb 26th 2019, 8:04 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 7,196
Re: cold feet
A lot depends under what circumstances you are moving...... going to a new job? or possibly being out of work for a few months after arriving? moving to be near family? no family or other support network?
Most people have doubts along the way as nothing is certain, but some moves are easier than others.
What are your circumstances?
Most people have doubts along the way as nothing is certain, but some moves are easier than others.
What are your circumstances?
Feb 26th 2019, 9:23 pm
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2015
Location: Denver, CO.
Posts: 1,467
Re: cold feet
A lot of people give off the impression (when they're having cold feet) a move to the US has to be permanent.
Let's say you move and don't like it... You're able to move back at any point.
Let's say you move and don't like it... You're able to move back at any point.
Feb 26th 2019, 10:21 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2012
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 188
Re: cold feet
Your kids may not get shot at school, but they will almost certainly have to go through active shooter training. This alone makes me want to return to the UK. Not sure how I'm going to explain it to my 5 year old this year when he starts school. These days, schools are so nervous, they go into lock down for all kinds of reasons. My local paper had this article last year about the stress it places on kids.
https://www.registerguard.com/news/2...ety-in-schools
https://www.registerguard.com/news/2...ety-in-schools
Feb 28th 2019, 2:24 am
#8
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Hong Kong, mostly.
Posts: 5,105
Re: cold feet
Looking at the US from the 10,000 foot view of being abroad is quite a bit different than living in the USA 24/7. You get the highlights, and more often the 'low lights' of life in America from the media while overseas. It can be different--much different when you are actually here (both good and bad).
Your chances of even seeing a gun being brandished in anger are incredibly low. Like, well, really really really low. You might find some insight from BBC's correspondent who wrote a decade ago about the actual 'safe' feeling many UK tourists come to discover after spending some time in the USA.
BBC NEWS | Programmes | From Our Own Correspondent | America's 'safety catch'
That said, as mentioned above, you will have kids going through 'ACTIVE SHOOTER' drills in school which sometimes can be scary in their own right. Last month a little girl in a drill scrawled a love you mom note on her arm in case she was shot and didn't get a chance to tell her parents. She was 7. Yeah, it can be kind of messed up.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...rm/2880566002/
Your chances of even seeing a gun being brandished in anger are incredibly low. Like, well, really really really low. You might find some insight from BBC's correspondent who wrote a decade ago about the actual 'safe' feeling many UK tourists come to discover after spending some time in the USA.
BBC NEWS | Programmes | From Our Own Correspondent | America's 'safety catch'
Why is it then that so many Americans - and foreigners who come here - feel that the place is so, well, safe?
A British man I met in Colorado recently told me he used to live in Kent but he moved to the American state of New Jersey and will not go home because it is, as he put it, "a gentler environment for bringing the kids up."
This is New Jersey. Home of the Sopranos.
Brits arriving in New York, hoping to avoid being slaughtered on day one of their shopping mission to Manhattan are, by day two, beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about. By day three they have had had the scales lifted from their eyes.
I have met incredulous British tourists who have been shocked to the core by the peacefulness of the place, the lack of the violent undercurrent so ubiquitous in British cities, even British market towns.
"It seems so nice here," they quaver.
A British man I met in Colorado recently told me he used to live in Kent but he moved to the American state of New Jersey and will not go home because it is, as he put it, "a gentler environment for bringing the kids up."
This is New Jersey. Home of the Sopranos.
Brits arriving in New York, hoping to avoid being slaughtered on day one of their shopping mission to Manhattan are, by day two, beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about. By day three they have had had the scales lifted from their eyes.
I have met incredulous British tourists who have been shocked to the core by the peacefulness of the place, the lack of the violent undercurrent so ubiquitous in British cities, even British market towns.
"It seems so nice here," they quaver.
That said, as mentioned above, you will have kids going through 'ACTIVE SHOOTER' drills in school which sometimes can be scary in their own right. Last month a little girl in a drill scrawled a love you mom note on her arm in case she was shot and didn't get a chance to tell her parents. She was 7. Yeah, it can be kind of messed up.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...rm/2880566002/
Feb 28th 2019, 2:50 am
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,156
Re: cold feet
I remember almost 20 years ago having cold feet when I left Scotland, my family, my friends, on a cold wet morning at 5.00 am.
I thought to myself, 6 months and I'll go home again.
Cut to four months later... palm trees, beach, sunshine, dinner overlooking the Pacific in December...thinking..why would I want to go home...
I thought to myself, 6 months and I'll go home again.
Cut to four months later... palm trees, beach, sunshine, dinner overlooking the Pacific in December...thinking..why would I want to go home...
Feb 28th 2019, 6:34 pm
#10
Peace onion
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: cold feet
Originally Posted by Hotscot
I remember almost 20 years ago having cold feet when I left Scotland, my family, my friends, on a cold wet morning at 5.00 am.
I thought to myself, 6 months and I'll go home again.
Cut to four months later... palm trees, beach, sunshine, dinner overlooking the Pacific in December...thinking..why would I want to go home...
I thought to myself, 6 months and I'll go home again.
Cut to four months later... palm trees, beach, sunshine, dinner overlooking the Pacific in December...thinking..why would I want to go home...
Mar 1st 2019, 11:13 am
#11
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 8
Re: cold feet
Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this, I have been so worried, I have always been that kind of person to just give anything ago, but it has been hard when someone so close has such a downer on what you want. You have all been so kind, and you are right,, England isn't going anywhere xx
Last edited by Georgieb; Mar 1st 2019 at 11:22 am.
Mar 1st 2019, 11:13 am
#12
Aussie Finn Mixture!
Joined: May 2005
Location: Leschenault WA (after few locations around WA and Around Europe!)
Posts: 1,142
Re: cold feet
Originally Posted by Octang Frye
Worried about shootings in schools? The "epidemic" of gun violence? Pfft. It's a myth. Gun violence has been trending down and is at its lowest level in 20 years. The US isn't even in the top 10,
despite what the media would have you believe. Your odds of dying in a school shooting are so infinitesimally small it's not even worth thinking about.
Contrasted with 100,000 deaths per year from doctor's malpractice....
It's normal to get cold feet - to um and err etc. I always get those before a move or a job change etc. If you don't try it, you'll regret it, and become resentful of your spouse. The other woman sounds jealous. Cook a snoot at her and do it. So many people come on this forum and would give their right arm to have the opportunity that is being afforded you. You would really be a fool to not make the most of it.
despite what the media would have you believe. Your odds of dying in a school shooting are so infinitesimally small it's not even worth thinking about.
Contrasted with 100,000 deaths per year from doctor's malpractice....
It's normal to get cold feet - to um and err etc. I always get those before a move or a job change etc. If you don't try it, you'll regret it, and become resentful of your spouse. The other woman sounds jealous. Cook a snoot at her and do it. So many people come on this forum and would give their right arm to have the opportunity that is being afforded you. You would really be a fool to not make the most of it.
out of interest, please name the worst 10 countries as all the rest of the world hears is United States
Mar 1st 2019, 1:28 pm
#13
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 443
Re: cold feet
Originally Posted by Georgieb
Hi all,,, soooo we were supposed to be moving to Florida before summer this year, but the process has been delayed a bit and so we should be moving the end of the year (fingers crossed) Anyways there is someone in our lives who continues to be a bit horrid about it all, I have a feeling that its mainly because her other half has always wanted to move but she refuses,, anyway,, I digress, the problem is though I think its starting to sink in with my husband, he is increasingly worried about shootings in schools, being 'alone' wondering if we should just stay here and other what I call normal concerns. However they have mainly cropped up since this other person keeps putting her 2 pennies worth in with the sly digs and comments. Has anyone else had issues with their halves having doubts? How do you deal with this, without upsetting people?
I had animosity from a few family members but once they realised I was happier out here they backed off. It's your life, and don't let other people affect your dreams.
