cold feet
 

Hi all,,, soooo we were supposed to be moving to Florida before summer this year, but the process has been delayed a bit and so we should be moving the end of the year (fingers crossed) Anyways there is someone in our lives who continues to be a bit horrid about it all, I have a feeling that its mainly because her other half has always wanted to move but she refuses,, anyway,, I digress, the problem is though I think its starting to sink in with my husband, he is increasingly worried about shootings in schools, being 'alone' wondering if we should just stay here and other what I call normal concerns. However they have mainly cropped up since this other person keeps putting her 2 pennies worth in with the sly digs and comments. Has anyone else had issues with their halves having doubts? How do you deal with this, without upsetting people? ;)

Re: cold feet
 

I am sure many people have doubts, definitely not something for everyone.

Re: cold feet
 

Re: cold feet
 

Worried about shootings in schools? The "epidemic" of gun violence? Pfft. It's a myth. Gun violence has been trending down and is at its lowest level in 20 years. The US isn't even in the top 10,
despite what the media would have you believe. Your odds of dying in a school shooting are so infinitesimally small it's not even worth thinking about.
Contrasted with 100,000 deaths per year from doctor's malpractice....

It's normal to get cold feet - to um and err etc. I always get those before a move or a job change etc. If you don't try it, you'll regret it, and become resentful of your spouse. The other woman sounds jealous. Cook a snoot at her and do it. So many people come on this forum and would give their right arm to have the opportunity that is being afforded you. You would really be a fool to not make the most of it.

Re: cold feet
 

A lot depends under what circumstances you are moving...... going to a new job? or possibly being out of work for a few months after arriving? moving to be near family? no family or other support network?

Most people have doubts along the way as nothing is certain, but some moves are easier than others.

What are your circumstances?

Re: cold feet
 

A lot of people give off the impression (when they're having cold feet) a move to the US has to be permanent.

Let's say you move and don't like it... You're able to move back at any point.

Re: cold feet
 

Your kids may not get shot at school, but they will almost certainly have to go through active shooter training. This alone makes me want to return to the UK. Not sure how I'm going to explain it to my 5 year old this year when he starts school. These days, schools are so nervous, they go into lock down for all kinds of reasons. My local paper had this article last year about the stress it places on kids.

https://www.registerguard.com/news/2...ety-in-schools

Re: cold feet
 

Looking at the US from the 10,000 foot view of being abroad is quite a bit different than living in the USA 24/7. You get the highlights, and more often the 'low lights' of life in America from the media while overseas. It can be different--much different when you are actually here (both good and bad).

Your chances of even seeing a gun being brandished in anger are incredibly low. Like, well, really really really low. You might find some insight from BBC's correspondent who wrote a decade ago about the actual 'safe' feeling many UK tourists come to discover after spending some time in the USA.

BBC NEWS | Programmes | From Our Own Correspondent | America's 'safety catch'


That said, as mentioned above, you will have kids going through 'ACTIVE SHOOTER' drills in school which sometimes can be scary in their own right. Last month a little girl in a drill scrawled a love you mom note on her arm in case she was shot and didn't get a chance to tell her parents. She was 7. Yeah, it can be kind of messed up.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...rm/2880566002/

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...a811678be2.jpg
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Re: cold feet
 

I remember almost 20 years ago having cold feet when I left Scotland, my family, my friends, on a cold wet morning at 5.00 am.
I thought to myself, 6 months and I'll go home again.

Cut to four months later... palm trees, beach, sunshine, dinner overlooking the Pacific in December...thinking..why would I want to go home...

Re: cold feet
 

Funny how that works...

Re: cold feet
 

Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this, I have been so worried, I have always been that kind of person to just give anything ago, but it has been hard when someone so close has such a downer on what you want. You have all been so kind, and you are right,, England isn't going anywhere xx

Re: cold feet
 

Re: cold feet
 

What others have said. Yes it's perfectly normal to feel nervous like you are getting cold feet. It's a huge step! Being alone is what you make of it, you can either embrace being somewhere new and meeting cool new people or lament that you aren't back in your comfort zone. I love it out here and wouldn't ever want to move back to my old life. Only a small handful of people I know own guns out here and the school shooting issue while horrible, is jumped on by the sensationalist media when there are a lot of other things that kill more people. Sure, you go out here and know that potentially you could get caught up in something like that but the odds are so small it's not worth worrying about.

I had animosity from a few family members but once they realised I was happier out here they backed off. It's your life, and don't let other people affect your dreams.