Ginelle

No Fitness

SanDiegogirl

What does a 'Fitness' course mean? Is he going to complete it with some qualifications which are recognised by private gyms, local/city sport organisations, youth organisations etc?

You say he does not want to spend 9 to 5 at a desk, so how is this course going to lead to a career?

We know several graduates who took 'soft studies' and the majority of them are still looking for work 'in their field' months after leaving university.

scrubbedexpat099

I would have thought more totty in Media Studies?

Nutmegger

You said that he started out to study IT, and that he enjoys online games. Perhaps he could combine those two interests and keep on studying IT with a specialization -- I see that there seem to be a number of companies in your area in that field, for example:

Jobs in Pleasanton ca at International Game Technology

johnwoo

My granddaughter works at the Pleasanton Fairgrounds during the summer break. The County Fair is June 15th to July 4th. Quite a lot of young people work there. Just an option, something to consider. If he doesn't already have a drivers license, getting a California License might be a good idea.

http://annual.alamedacountyfair.com/

scrubbedexpat099

Could you introduce them?

Ginelle

Thank you for that, he's looked and there's nothing going 😞

Ginelle

He's not got a work permit yet so can't apply for anything but thanks for the heads up.

Nutmegger

Do you mean nothing going in terms of relevant IT education? I was trying to point out what might be available if he continues his studies.

Ginelle

Sorry I got the wrong end of the stick. All we can do is advise him, we know it would be better for him to keep going with his IT its just getting it through to him😬

Bermudashorts

Maybe take a step back, bite your tongue and let him make his own mind up about where he lives and what he does. I noted a few responses have referred to him as a kid and even a teenager when he plainly is neither. But you seem to be treating him like he is and in turn maybe he is relying upon you too much.

Many 20 year olds have left home and even the ones that have not do not typically involve parents in making career choices or finding friends and social activities.

johnwoo

I doubt many 20 year old can pay afford to pay rent and all the costs accociated with independent living. Most likely they will find a part time minimum wage job. Certainly in the San Francisco Bay Area. He's not able to work in The US, how do you expect him to be independent. Thankfully he has family support many young people don't.

Rete

There are such things are roommates, shared apartments, etc. He can also return to the UK. He is, after all, 20 years old. In another year, at most, he will be 21. Time to leave the nest soon. Unless he is going to school, disabled or just plain lazy, he needs to grow up sometime and make a stand for independence.

He is unhappy here in the US. Hasn't found a niche for himself and seems not to know what he wants to do with himself and what career path to follow. At least he is attempting to return to classes and study "fitness". Here I thought you went to a gym to do that

Sorry, don't mean to be flippant and I realize that the situation is not the norm for the young man. But the thing is, he is a young man, not a young kid, not a teenager. While he is dependent on Mom and Dad for financial support, he should not have to be dependent on them for emotional support. All parents what the best for their kids but there are times when we have to step back and see that they have to make their own decisions and opportunities.

Good luck Mum.

johnwoo

How is he going to share an apartment when he has no income and no work permit? Rents in the San Francisco Bay Area among the highest in the Country.

Bermudashorts

I haven't suggested mum abandon him, but merely step back and let him work some things out for himself. Still I do think plenty of 20 year olds can and do stand on their own two feet. I think a 20 year old should be trying to find his own way in life in whatever way possible. Making his own decisions about career, planning for the future and definitely sorting out his own social life!

What struck me about this thread was that it read like he was about 15 not 20 and some people seemed to have the impression from the OP that he was much younger as he was referred to as a kid and a teenager and were suggesting things like mum finds other parents with similar age children for him to hang out with. Did your mum organise play dates for you when you were twenty?