ukintexas

Sooooooooooo true!

With regard to the threads main content, what a deep question to try and answer! I've been here four years, have two kids (one just about to turn 11 and the other 13) and the longer we go the more concerned I get about how American in their beliefs they are becoming. I believe that living in a Country you do have an obligation to assimilate with certain aspects but I also agree that it doesn't have to make you less British to do so. I suppose I have degrees of assimilation in that my kids will say "sir" and "ma'am" to those in authority, but I hate it when they say the same to me and my husband as many American children do to their mums and dads. Is that an assimilation issue, or just a personal one, I'm not sure?

Deep deep thread (nice one djb1000), but one I feel completely too stupid to answer properly!

scrubbedexpat097

In the words of Popeye...."I yam what I yam"

After 20 years here I don't think I had to change at all to fit in, I was just accepted for who and how I am.

chartreuse

Well, I say "grunt" but it's more "uh huh". And, to be fair, it's not everybody round here and I've also found it in the Carolinas. I don't see it ("you're welcome") as an Americanism because we were always brought up to say "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome". Perhaps that's less common in the UK these days - certainly when we lived in London, grunting and pointing seemed to be the accepted way of asking for a Mars Bar.

thinbrit

Perhaps someone should make a poll (anonymous ?) to see how far each person thinks they will go towards assimilation. Can one be added to this discussion?

Redwing

Same here for me after 32 years.

bevinva

The thing that still gets me into the most trouble is when I make a "smutty" comments. The neighbours talk to my USC husband, I think I'm thought of as his crazy pet.

lisag8070

yeah...the smutty comments always get you in trouble...whenever me and OH are having a conversation with insults thrown in..our friends always ask us "is everything OK with you two"...they honestly think our marriage is in trouble...to which I reply..."oh this...oh no...this is just our foreplay"....they turn a lovely shade of red with embarrassment...

AdobePinon

Assimilation is a bit of a one way street. If you want to take without the hassle of giving based on your own personal background, it's a useful path. But I've usually felt valued for my differences. Americans have tended to use the phrase 'melting pot', which at least implies some change in all parties, even if it still unfortunately suggests a common end. [/ramble]

lisag8070

IMHO I feel like the you're welcome as more of a knee jerk reaction...but that is when I do get an answer from them...In most cases here, I'm the one thats shouting you're welcome at their backs as I've kept the door open for them and they've just waltzed past me with zero acknowledgement..

In fact the more I think about it..I hardly ever hear anyone using good manners around me, especially in a restaurants or shops...the servers seem to be dismissed with hardly a glance in their direction and all they get is "I want water" or "I want bread with that"..oh the best ones are the people that don't want to stand in a queue and walk up to the counter and shout out "where the bread at, I can't find the bread"..and expect someone to jump up and go help them find it.

just my two pennies worth..

MsElui

assimilate....hmmmm. dont like that word - implies total conformation to the 'new' norm.

Yet I have changed to conform in some areas - ie modification of language to use american wording instead of british (trash, diaper, gas, yard etc etc) as it just makes life easier to be more easily understood. I worry slightly that my sons may have difficulty in school if i dont use the american words with them - living in dread of the day some PE teacher in the changing room says take your pants off to my son when they mean trousers and he doesnt get the difference !

I dont see myself changing my accent because i personally dont find the accent I hear in Ohio to be very strong so there is not much for me to subconsciously 'imitate' if you know what I mean. If I was hearing a texas drawl all day long it might be harder to not go along with it. (in the same way when i lived in Cardiff and Newcastle and Birmingham I ended up with a local accent each time - just couldnt help it).


I will adopt the local sports teams here - as it will be good to enjoy and take part in the local rivalries and enthusiasm for the teams but will always support my home football team (Spurs- so some silly bugger has to too!) and I 'expect' to continue to support England/GB etc in things like the Olympics but also wishing the americans well. Will be interesting to see how that feels when it happens.

Oddly enough I was asked to submit a photo of my new baby in a 'patriotic' style 'whatever country that would be'. In my head I started to think - great - get one of the kids England shirst and an England flag and take a photo. and then I thought actually she is an american citizen too. I didnt know how I felt about that so I just left it at the time. My boys are both british - but my daughter is american-british and i dont know if i will/should treat them any differently.

If asked I am British but will enthuisiatically embrace citizenship here should I be able to get it. Will always be a brit at heart though.

MsElui

and can i say what a great thread! well done dbj (cant karma you at the moment!).

surly

I've made no conscious effort to assimilate it has just happened over the last twenty years. People still recognize me as British so a guess I still have a British accent.
I have come to a point were I hardly know what is an Americanism or what is a Britishism. When I watch British movies or TV many of the expressions didn't exist when I lived there.
Right from the day I arrived I felt more comfortable here than in the UK. I prefer it here so why act the professional Englishman, I try to be myself and works well.
To be honest being British means nothing to me, It was were I was born nothing more.
I don't feel any great affection for it, maybe because I was in my early twenties when I left, and I have no fond memories, perhaps because I grew up in such a s***thole of a place.

made of kent

What do you really mean by assimilation??? as to my mind each state is unique? so someone from say I don't know NY moving to SLC, should they become a Mormon?(I have seen the discusion (this is a example plucked from the air)) (wrote moron to start with)
I live in CT and without exception every one of my neighbours has said that people in CT are stuck up and will only be friends with you if they think you are "their type of person" I haven't found this in my corner? we have made some lovely friends, who have a fantastic sence of humour and yes I do get a lot of "your so funny!" but they laugh and get it, last week a neighbour called round to see if I needed something from the store, "oh yes just carrots, thanks" "what sort?" and I couldn't think what I wanted to say! so I told her "not the FBI witness protection carrots?! she not only laughed but understood my meaning no bother we should be who we are? how can you be any different? just as some Americans can't help believing creationism and starbucks!

(on spell checking this I refused to change my spelling of neighbour!) whats that make me???

nethead

To me assimilation would mean a watered down version of myself, although by definition I know that's not strictly what it means. I guess it depends on how you identify yourself and how much your nationality contributes to your identity. I feel very British and could never define myself as any other nationality not matter how settled in a country I feel, or how permanent the move.

That doesn't answer the question of if assimilation is good (or not), so sorry. I suppose most people do what they can to 'fit it' without loosing who they are.

Found this while looking up a definition of assimilate, quite an interesting piece, though I only had time to scan it and read it out of order.
http://www.reason.com/news/show/30150.html

another bloody yank

THis thread raises more questions for me than it answers...

Is assimilating into American culture different than assimilating into other cultures? Can you truly assimilate into other cultures as you can in the US? How much of a factor is language? Have you assimilated when you feel American or have you assimilated when others see you as an American? Are there degrees of assimilation? Speaking the lingo, driving on the right vs. citizenship and pledging allegiance (and meaning it)?

One of the unitentional benefits of this site for me is that it makes me think of my own Great Grandmother, who came here in 1914 or so from Sicily. I wonder what she was thinking as she was standing in line at Ellis Island. She was accompanied by her three year old daughter (my great aunt) and on her way to meet my great grandfather in Southern IL where he had found work as a coal miner.

She died in '83, when she was 93 and I was 12. She was still much more comfortable speaking her native tongue than English although she spoke enough English to get by, with a heavy accent. Conversation between her and my grandparents usually involved both speaking Sicilian or a mix of English and Sicilian words that was pretty hard to follow. She never did learn to read or write in English. She never drove, and she never became a USC.

There's a bunch of stuff I'd ask her now if she was still around.