Anxious of the thought of going back to US
Oct 20th 2017 | 4:10 pm
#31
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 418
Re: Anxious of the thought of going back to US
Not enough information to say.
OP has only made one follow-up post, some time ago.
We don't know:
1. If there is a history of problems in the marriage, or if issues only started once they settled into the UK;.
2. What their financial state is in the UK compared to what it would be in Minnesota;
3. If they have a well-developed plan for moving back to Minnesota.
Etc etc etc.
If the marriage had been clear sailing and the husband just hates the UK, than sure, move. Health expenses can certainly be managed with a well-thought-out plan and strategy, and being from the US the husband would konw that.
On one hand - I do agree that moving to save a marriage is not a good idea. On the other hand - OP did nothing to indicate there were in fact underlying issues, and some posters (including yourself) may have jumped the gun in assuming that there are other issues and prematurely brought in talk of divorce, child abductions and so on. If the issue is just living in the UK I certainly don't think OP should risk the marriage over that.
OP has only made one follow-up post, some time ago.
We don't know:
1. If there is a history of problems in the marriage, or if issues only started once they settled into the UK;.
2. What their financial state is in the UK compared to what it would be in Minnesota;
3. If they have a well-developed plan for moving back to Minnesota.
Etc etc etc.
If the marriage had been clear sailing and the husband just hates the UK, than sure, move. Health expenses can certainly be managed with a well-thought-out plan and strategy, and being from the US the husband would konw that.
On one hand - I do agree that moving to save a marriage is not a good idea. On the other hand - OP did nothing to indicate there were in fact underlying issues, and some posters (including yourself) may have jumped the gun in assuming that there are other issues and prematurely brought in talk of divorce, child abductions and so on. If the issue is just living in the UK I certainly don't think OP should risk the marriage over that.
I treat this story as a cautionary tale of moving back to be close to family. Being an hour from family can be just as isolating as being a flight away.
Oct 21st 2017 | 11:25 am
#32
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 11,628
Re: Anxious of the thought of going back to US
Jeepster....
this couple are already impacted by the hague convention. If hubbie wants to go back to the USA and wife doesn't, well, the kids get to stay with her and he doesn't get any choice.
Reverse for the USA. Now, she's married to a USC so she's a lucky one if they move here and end up getting divorced because she's allowed to stay. If she wants to go back to UK with kids and hubbie says no....at least she can stay with her kids. That's tough though, being forced to live somewhere like that.
Imagine if you are on temporary work visas and the marriage ends. What then?
So yes, at least if you know about it and you see problems in the marriage coming at you then you can get prepared.
this couple are already impacted by the hague convention. If hubbie wants to go back to the USA and wife doesn't, well, the kids get to stay with her and he doesn't get any choice.
Reverse for the USA. Now, she's married to a USC so she's a lucky one if they move here and end up getting divorced because she's allowed to stay. If she wants to go back to UK with kids and hubbie says no....at least she can stay with her kids. That's tough though, being forced to live somewhere like that.
Imagine if you are on temporary work visas and the marriage ends. What then?
So yes, at least if you know about it and you see problems in the marriage coming at you then you can get prepared.
Don't know a the details in this case, so cant really judge. I have a friend US citizen married to a Brit and they have three children. He doesn't like living in UK at all, his wife unhappy when they were in US. He figures for hsi wife to be happy, and therefore the kids and himself happier, he just puts up with UK. Maybe I am old fashioned but just seems people should put the family as a whole first. One can be reasonably happy anywhere if your family is in doing well, maybe not perfect but well enough.
