kins

Sorry, bit obsessed with death tonight...

Many of you are probably in the same situation as us ie living in the US but most/all family are back in the UK, and with children under 18.

If you die, will your children stay in the US? Go to family in the UK? Do you have a will stating exactly what should happen to them?

Sally Redux

I've thought about this a few times and don't know what would be best - at the moment we have no will which isn't good, as H4s the kids I suppose would have to return to England although I've heard unsubstantiated stories of kids being taken into care here - ostrich situation.

Ash UK/US

Hubby and I have it written in our wills that if we were both to die that our (US born) girls would go to his sister in Ohio, is she is unable to care for them they are to go to my aunt in england if that does not work out they will go to my sister also in England.

We talked to all parties concerned and have their agreement so hopfully if the worst comes to the worst all of our bases are covered.

Patrick Hasler

This is something that has often been on my mind. My grown kids live back there and have family here also. I have decided to be cremated and have my ashes flown back to the UK.

Ray

Make sure you do a basic will ..immediately ..even if its only a store bough blank ...
and if you have assets in the UK a separate one for there...

Mummy in the foothills

We were talking about it the other day.
I need to write up a will and OH said he'd just sign whatever I put. I don't want the kids to be stuck here with his relatives one we get on with is not our kind of parent and the others haven't spoken to us in many years (a whole other thread)
So anyone have a link or suggestions for where to find an outline or help with writing up the will so my kids gets sent to grandma in UK and seen too by a whole host of family there?

Ray

If there are kids involved ..get a proper attorney to write it up

clarissageo

We really need to get wills written, as I want my kids to stay in the US with the man who has been a proper daddy to them rather than the person who created them..... of course the kids and the proper daddy are fine with it, it is something we've discussed.

Darling hubby however, has decided in his wisdom that he is going to get me made into paperweights and they can all have a bit of me!

Mummy in the foothills

I need to get a move on with that, goodness knows what that'll cost. Maybe I'll get my Mum to help me write it while she's here next month.
I wonder if I can write it all up and the lawyer just formalise it all.

Ray

Normally you tell them the details you require and they
write it up in legalese..should not be that expensive

frrussre

Not morbid, a must. Always brought a tear to my eye, whilst writing it up.

We had a will/agreement, written up many years ago & changed as circumstances changed: Son would go to his US Gran, my eldest brother in UK, would be in charge of all funds & had the ultimate say, in any disputes. If and when gran passed away, as she in fact did, son would go to wifes cousin, not her 2 sisters, same deal, brother in UK would control funds etc.
Every year or so we looked into the agreement & revised Son now in Uni, big brother UK, in charge of funds (If any left), until boy reaches 25.
Reg. Frank R.

JAJ

Are the children American citizens? Is adoption an possibility?

Ray

She may not want you to have her children ....

clarissageo

Unfortunately, not yet - We've got a while to go before that.

We'd love nothing more than for my husband to adopt them, its something else we have discussed at length, but goodness only knows how we would go about it with their natural father being a UKC etc.

JAJ

If you are still in the U.K., have you got his permission to move them to the U.S. or a court order? (or does he have no parental responsibility?)

Once in the U.S. you could investigate the adoption process in your state. Depending on the children's ages, their own views may carry weight.