Originally Posted by Brigette

This really caught my eye as well.

Agreed. If sacrifice is constantly only being made by one person, that can eventually lead to resentment among other things. An honest, candid conversation without blame is what is needed here. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

Originally Posted by Editha

It seems to me that you still need to have that conversation with your wife.

If her mother is only 68, and she doesn't want to leave her, your wish to move back to the UK might have to be put of indefinitely. If your mother-in-law lives to be 95, when will you move back to the UK?.

My sister-in-law is South American. She lives in Canada with her husband, while her family lives in Argentina. She had a lot of problems with her family when she came to Canada with her husband, but has always accepted that her commitment to her marriage takes precedence over her relationship with her parents.

Originally Posted by Victor Meldrew

There is a generation/section of UK community who unfortunately dominate British culture (IMO) in a very negative way.

Originally Posted by Lothianlad

The BBC may not dominate British culture to any great extent but it certainly is not the positive, impartial and much respected organisation it once was. Its "dumbing down" over recent years has to be heard to be believed (just listen to all the presenters on BBC Five Live for example - almost all of them originating north of Birmingham - Southern/RP long vowels

Originally Posted by Lothianlad

The BBC may not dominate British culture to any great extent but it certainly is not the positive, impartial and much respected organisation it once was. Its "dumbing down" over recent years has to be heard to be believed (just listen to all the presenters on BBC Five Live for example - almost all of them originating north of Birmingham - Southern/RP long vowels are out and Northern short, flat vowels are in) and as for its blatant political left wing bias and partiality in the way it reports on many domestic issues here in the UK, heavily slanted towards its own political creed and reflected in the order of priority it gives to many current news topics, it just has to be the broadcasting mouthpiece of the Labour Party.

In almost all news reports broadcast by BBC political commentators the Conservative Prime Minister is almost invariably referred to simply as Cameron.....the Leader of the Labour Oppostion is routinely referred to as Ed Miliband. The former is often portrayed in as negative a light as the BBC can expect to get away with, the latter in as positive a light as the BBC can possibly get away with. All in all quite risky when one considers the very obvious ineffectuality of the Leader of the Labour Opposition who often gives the impression that he actually doesn't want to be in that position anyway.......even members of his own party and a fair section of the UK public really wish he wasn't in that position.

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready

Bit of brief background, I am a UK citizen who moved to the US to marry my American wife in January 2003. I have lived in 3 states since then, but have not returned to the UK to even visit, mainly for financial reasons. I have struggled to adapt over here, have made no lasting friendships and I have health issues that I cannot afford to take care of even with health insurance.

....before I go any further, I know that most British people who emigrate can't stand the UK and left for a reason. I'm not looking for advice from people who have a biased view per se, rather those who are in a similar situation to mine (struggling and didn't hate the UK nor particularly care to leave it in the first place).

So it's been 9 years + since I left and I kind of want to go back for the following reasons:

- I do not like the American corporate / work culture, lack of time off and long hellish commutes
agreed based on greed and status,live to work mentality,pointless miles of driving in gas guzzling cars is selfish

- The American political system is very divided with just 2 main parties.
A big joke ruled by religion
- I have not been able to make friends here and have found many people to be seemingly nicer on the surface, but more fake and rather uptight.
Try California for fakeness

- I have 2 quite serious health issues that I cannot afford to have treated.
Wrong...healthcare is basic human right IMO
- My wife has inadvertently got us into debt mainly due to her student loans. Since I co-signed 2 of them, this means that I cannot go to university myself as 1) it's very expensive and 2) no one wil lend me the money.
$45 billion a year industry (how about an apprenticeship program
- Because I don't have a degree, it's been hard for me to find work.
i worked with degree kids they barely last 6 months because they are not taught critical thinking and cannot stand on thier own 2 feet
- I don't like the attitude towards the poor here.
terrible attitude where are we India(caste system)
- I have found the workplace environment to be too competitive, too much backstabbing and brown nosing (more than I'm used to).
only way to get on here
- Food here is of poor quality, too much processed crap and fresh food, meat, fruits & veg are considerably more expensive than the UK.
agreed......read labels they will scare you
- As silly as it sounds, I miss my football, the English countryside, being close to mainland Europe, being able to walk more, being able to visit Roman ruins, Norman castles and historic villages, towns and cities.
superbowl anyone (world champion Giants???)
Unfortunately, I cannot move back for now as my wife is unwilling to leave her elderly mother. I just feel like because of the points above, I am at a complete and utter dead end here and despite trying, I have not been able to fit in to what is an extremely conformist and money-status oriented society. I've simply come to the conclusion that the US offers a great standard of living for those who are financially well off, but it's much harder to be on a lower income and have to forgoe medical treatment.

So my main questions are:

1) Has the UK changed much in the last decade?

2) Have any of you gone home, only to realise you made a mistake, or did it work out well?

3) Are many of the issues I described above just symptomatic of a changing global society rather than just the US? In other words, would I find the same problems (or worse) in the UK now?

4) Do you have any advice for me as to how I could try to be happy or at least content here in the US with not much money and no friends? I know I've been here for 9 years, but I'm open to suggestions.

5) Based on the above and the current state of the UK, should I consider moving back in the future or abandon the idea completely?

Thanks in advance!

Originally Posted by Ethelred_the_Unready

Love's a funny thing, because even though it pains me and I am horrifically homesick even after 9 years, I'd choose #2 a thousand times over.

Originally Posted by robin1234

..

So Lothianlad, what are you, a one-man Daily Mail??

Originally Posted by SadInStates

With regards to citizenship I would go for it, as that'll give you the chance to live 'temporarily' in the UK (if your wife agrees) BEFORE her mother becomes very old. It would give you the option of coming back if you needed to.

When I took out my US citizenship I crossed my fingers behind my back when I said the oath (to void it!) and silently said "not" in all the appropriate promises, so not to renouce my British citizenship which I value above all else!
To me they were only words. Nothing changed in my heart, only my options.

Originally Posted by Englishmum

In any case, the British government doesn't recognise it anyway!

The only way to lose British Citizenship is to formally renounce it in the presence of a British Consular Official.

Originally Posted by SadInStates

With regards to citizenship I would go for it, as that'll give you the chance to live 'temporarily' in the UK (if your wife agrees) BEFORE her mother becomes very old. It would give you the option of coming back if you needed to.

When I took out my US citizenship I crossed my fingers behind my back when I said the oath (to void it!) and silently said "not" in all the appropriate promises, so not to renouce my British citizenship which I value above all else!
To me they were only words. Nothing changed in my heart, only my options.