Lion in Winter

Morning Lesley? Can I send you a pair of steel-toed boots.
(Said in extremely nice and supportive way )

effi

Agreed, enough already.

lairdside

Shitkickers? With 6" spikes on the toecaps?

Ray

Sorry!! I don't believe it..the puppy will still be licking the master crumbs for a long time yet...I will get kicked for saying it but some women like to be the victim...

lairdside

In many situations everyone is an aggressor and everyone is a victim. It's themselves they are punishing. They don't like themselves, or respect themselves.

Any self-respecting human being would walk away at the first sign of abuse.

The only exception IMHO are the children. They can be exclusively victims. Still, even paedophilles have often been reported to avoid children because they "Knew they'd tell", targeting the ones who will stay silent about the abuse.

Everyone finds their own way, in their own time. The path they choose is up to them but to remedy the situation some actions are inevitable. The choice is to delay it and suffer longer or get it over and done with.

Lion in Winter

You don't want to get kicked by Lesley. You should see the boots I'm sending her.

Ray

the worse things is..you know I am right !!

effi

I know you are right. This is not going to end any time soon I fear.

Lion in Winter

I am an eternal optimist. This is my second marriage.

Ray

And you have already started peeping ..it does not bode well

Lion in Winter

Well how do you think I chose him indoors #2?

Lesley1020

Well all I can say is I am trying my best - I really am not intending to call him again or see him again unless it is because he has got her out of that house and is willing to do things the right way - and that ain't gonna happen.

Yes, I know I probably seem weak and pathetic but its very hard not to want to see him - this is a person I truly thought I was going to be with and its hard to just switch off thoughts overnight but I can see clearly now that the situation is always going to be detrimental to me and after one failed marriage I'm not going there again either. I am going to try my damnest to get established here and meet new people (I mean c'mon I'm even going to CHURCH to try and meet people lol!) and create a new life - all I'm saying is its hard because the one and only familiar thing to me here has disappeared overnight. If all else fails after a few months - I'm not going to wait and wilt and see what happens - I'm going home to my mum and my friends - but I am giving it a chance here! I just have some weak moments right now and Monday night was one of them - I had no money and no-one else willing to look at my car which thankfully he fixed - and I have not returned ONE call since Monday night.

I'm trying guys - really I am!

Taffyles

Good for you!
You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to do, Lesley- don't forget that.

jaffa

I don't know you Lesley, but I know your story - I sat here for ages reading it all! I think you're doing the right thing, getting out a meeting people. You can move on and be happy without him. You got on great before you met him, and you'll do even better after him. You must be a strong person, you were brave to go to a strange country and start a new life, you'll learn from this and come out the other side even stronger. Don't let this experience knock your self confidence. You seem to have more concern for you on here, than he has ever given you. Nobody here has an ulterior motive for giving you advice - trust it and know that lots of strangers are rooting for you lol! Good Luck, and keep posting so I know how you're doing.