Originally Posted by Elvira

After a one-year absence, he should still qualify for UK resident's fee, but a year's US residence would also qualify him for in-state fees in the US

Originally Posted by clarissageo

From what you have said here, is there really any point in putting yourself and your son through the stress of doing a complete ban on him going to the US?.... I think your reasoning about wanting him to complete his GCSE's is very strong, and combining that with your argument about the fact your ex is looking to lie to immigration to get your son into the US, I think would hold very strong with a court. Include the cockiness of him booking a flight which would rub any judge up the wrong way, and I think with the right lawyer you could very well look good in court.

I can't see any judge condoning immigration fraud, and the route in which your ex is attempting to have your son go to the US is quite simply that. Most lawyers will give a free first initial consultation, and even if you were to have a consultation where you were prepared to have that lawyer draft you a letter which could result in you gaining those extra 8-12 months and settling out of court could well be worth the couple of hundred pounds it would cost. Many lawyers will have some system set up where you can pay monthly also.

In the meantime, you really should apply for a prohibitive steps order which will stop your ex taking your son out of the country. Also, depending on how mature your son is emotionally / mentally, at his age it could well be worth being open with him about your concerns as far as immigration goes and the long term affects it could have on both him and his father if it is not done properly, that in itself may make him see that by waiting for the process to be completed properly he can eventually go to the US, complete with GCSE's under his belt, and not have to always look over his shoulder and wonder if he's going to be packed on a flight home.

Of course, if you do manage to do it like this, just bear in mind that if your son can go to the US, and stay there until he gets citizenship, eventually he will be able to sponsor you, and you can go to! all courtesy of your ex!!

Originally Posted by Elvira

Disruption of his education is a very important issues, and a point in your favour. The US school system is very different from the UK, so switching from one to the other is not straightforward.

I am wondering how your son (and the Courts) would view the following scenario:

- son stays in UK till he has finished A-levels (or IB)
- gets Immigrant Visa and moves to US and works for a year (i.e. a kind of gap year)
- THEN decides whether he wants to go to uni in the US or UK

After a one-year absence, he should still qualify for UK resident's fee, but a year's US residence would also qualify him for in-state fees in the US.

If he were to return to the UK to study, he could get a re-entry permit to preserve his US residency. By the time he graduates, he would hopefully have a better idea of where he wants to live!

Originally Posted by 7013439

Hi - he is married to an American so has his green card.

Originally Posted by ian-mstm

I'm married to an American... it took me almost 3 years to get a GC! Are you sure he has one, and isn't just in the process for getting one?

Ian

Originally Posted by ian-mstm

I'm married to an American... it took me almost 3 years to get a GC! Are you sure he has one, and isn't just in the process for getting one?

Ian

Originally Posted by christmasoompa

I know I'd fight to the death for my children and can't imagine what you're going through. Your ex sounds like a selfish git - what kind of man wants to take a child away from his mother, siblings, only home he's ever known (and at a crucial point in his education) and thinks he's a good father?! Why can't he just leave him be for a couple of years.

Originally Posted by Giantaxe

There's a thread over on the NZ board where dads get routinely "criticized" for trying to prevent their mothers moving to NZ and taking their child/children with them... the bottom line is these decisions are never easy, particularly with children as old as the one that's the subject of this thread.

Originally Posted by clarissageo

I would be the first to admit that I would sit on the fence as far as an older child is concerned, and also one where the absent parent has had alot of regular contact with the child who is part of removal proceedings, but the parents who just suddenly pop up out of the blue and try and play parent of the year when the parent with care trys to make a life for themselves and their children, or suddenly realises that they want to play mummy or daddy after numerous years out of the picture, get no sympathy from me at all. All that does is upset and disrupts the children and its not on.

Originally Posted by Giantaxe

Pretty much agree with that.

Originally Posted by christmasoompa

I agree too. Perhaps I'm looking at it far too simplistically, but in my view the majority of parents that take their child thousands of miles away from the other parent and/or siblings, are simply not being parents. A huge part of being a parent is putting your child and their welfare first, even if that is to the detriment of your own plans, hopes and dreams of moving abroad.

Originally Posted by Giantaxe

That's certainly the thought I've had about some of the mothers on that NZ thread who wish to take children there. It's a really tough one with no easy answers in my opinion. If you truly believe that your child will have a "better" life living with you somewhere else, or that you truly believe the other parent has zero involvement in the child's life, you plausibly are putting their best interests at heart. The problem is that this is all so subjective and conjectural, and of course we're hearing only one side's view of these situations.