Smesa

I thought there was a forum specific to this issue but maybe it was a different site.......anyway, would like to hear about people that have moved back to the UK after their kids have lived & schooled in the US & how they ( the children ) faired. I have a 10 & 8 yr old. My hubby & I are planning right now to move by next May & the only issue that makes my tummy do somersaults is how my boys will be accepted. My eldest son will go straight into the first year of senior school & my younger will have a couple years left of primary. I have peace & feel good about moving back except in this one area.

bromleygirl

I think it could probably go either of 2 ways. Either the kids will really like their accents and that fact that they have lived in America or they will be singled out for being different.
I plan to move back summer '04 with my 2 children who will be 5 and 3. My oldest will be going into the 2 year of infants - I didn't want to leave it moving back any later so that it would be easier for her to adjust.
How do your children feel about moving back to England and how long have you been here?

Smesa

[QUOTE]Originally posted by bromleygirl
I think it could probably go either of 2 ways. Either the kids will really like their accents and that fact that they have lived in America or they will be singled out for being different.
I plan to move back summer '04 with my 2 children who will be 5 and 3. My oldest will be going into the 2 year of infants - I didn't want to leave it moving back any later so that it would be easier for her to adjust.
How do your children feel about moving back to England and how long have you been here? [/QUOTE

12 years.
The boys seem indifferent, sometimes a bit excited ( they have more important things to worry about..you know, how to get to the next level of Sonic 3, whose banging on the door to play, etc) . I will say that I'm not prepared to NOT go back to spare then any ' trauma', it might sound a bit hard but life isn't always roses is it? If it is difficult at first then they'll work through it....character building stuff ( done a good job of convincing myself haven't I?). My impression of the small percentage of american people I've met is that they are very limited in their desires to travel outside the confines of America....most don't have passports as they've never left the country. I don't want my children to grow up & only have known their immediate surroundings, I think it creates a mind set for life. Also, british college students are much more likely to travel than american students don't you think? Europe is right there at your fingertips.
Children can be cruel though & I hope they won't fall victim to too much $#@# ( british kids are a tougher bunch I reckon). I'm just curious to hear others parents' experiences in this area.

bromleygirl

Is your husband American? and do you take them back to the UK for regular visits? I think that how they are brought up i.e. both British parents versus dual parents and visits back to the UK does make a difference. I try and take my children back at least once a year. My husband is American and we are experiencing conflict over moving and I've basically decided that I'm moving with or without him. I've been here in the States for 7 years and I am not prepared to stay here and let my children grow up in what I consider a very naive society. I agree with you 100% that British college students have a broader outlook on life and that is what I want for my children plus I like the idea of school uniforms.
I do think that you are moving back at the best time for your 10 year old. He will be starting seconday school and will be in the same boat as everyone else being new.

I'm sure that being boys the girls will love their American accents!

What part of the UK are you moving back to and are you going to ship any furniture? I have been shopping around for shipping quotes and am wondering if I should just buy new when I get back.

Smesa

Gloucestershire..my family all live there. Won't be shipping anything, I think you can furnish you home inexpensively in England. We don't really have anything worth taking & certainly not the quantity you'd need to justify payng those shipping prices but that's just us. My husband is Cuban by descent but an Amercian citizen, he came over when he was 6. I am fortunate that he's up for the move. He knows that it's ' my turn' now & the boys have another family as well as his. My mother in law will be very sad & dramatic. The boys have been back 3 times & my parents have enjoyed coming over annually ( my dad always manages to time it around the Players Golf Tournament...mmmm, will live just 20 mins away) come to think of it, they are always trying to talk me out of going back home. Housing in Jacksonville Fl, is extremely affordable & you get alot of sq footage for your money, that's the upside, the downside is when we sell up, we won't have much in British Sterling.In fact, if I think about it too much I start to panic & feel like we're commiting financial suicide lalalala BUT it's still worth it too me. I think the advantage of not having alot is that you don't have so much to lose. My husbands a blue collar worker ( just my kind of man ) & I've been a stay home mum forever, I now work as a teachers assistant at a school around the corner, the hours suit me fine but you know the pay is appalling. I guess what I'm getting at is we've struggled here too , so, here or there makes no difference. Someone this week wrote about how they like the standard of living here in the states but prefer ' life' in England & that's exactly how I feel. It's not the past I'm clambering for either, god knows I don't want to go there I just want something different for my kids, something other than this perfect little world they call America, there is something stangely plastic & contrived about living here & I find it more nauseating with every passing year. Anyway, that's probably more than you care to know . I think you are right to want to go back, if that's where your heart leads you. Has your husband been with you on your visits to England & has he enjoyed it?

fried_emu

It really depends on where you move to in the uk. Some areas that have more of a culturally diverse mix, you may fit in well. Or if you move somewhere that you have family the same age as you children it may help as well.

I have moved back to Yorkshire the home of my birth!

I at the time I had brought along my 4 year of and my 1 year old. It has been hard on my older child because they made fun of his accent and they would get him to talk just so they could make fun of him.

Please remember that children can be cruel anywhere in the world. I have moved back after growing up in Canada, and I have sentenced my oldest child to the same teasing as I got as a child, with my thick Yorkshire accent.

I hope to move back to North America in the next few years, because the grass is not always greener on the other side. Britian has changed, only I did not know how much.....


Good Luck in your Choices

Fried

PS
They seem to accept Canadians (grudgingly), but they are really down on the USA. If they think I am american, they are down right nasty, but as soon as I say I am Canadian they change. Good for me, but damn unfair for my USA friends,

I have on USA friend in my village here, and she hates it with a passion. She goes back for a visit at every chance.

whatever

I was 8 when I returned to London and I had a strong American accent. I had kids begging me to talk so that they could hear my 'funny voice'. To me it wasn't funny and felt a bit embarresed, but I was never lonely!! After just a short time, I lost most, nearly all of the accent and it only crops up when I return to America - it all comes flooding back which even now I find very weird!!
Your children will most likely cope fine with the attention and also cope again when the attention wears off. They will be richer for the experience thats for sure.
I found moving to the British schooling system difficult. At 8 I could spell all the months of the year without copying from the board - the English kids couldn't - however, they knew many times tables and I didn't even know what a times table was at that age!! So you may need to work with their teachers until they even out.
I was smitten with the USA and was gutted in later life when I returned to the States to visit old friends and realised that I'd missed out on teenage stuff like, Camp and Prom Night, going to the Drive in, college party's etc... As an adult, I am working my way back because it feels right. My mother is upset and blames my Father for taking us there in the first place (we immigrated though his work in the 1970's) - for putting the opportunity there for her family to be broken up. Of course this hurts me that she see's it this way and I don't want to hurt her -so I suppose what I am saying is, maybe one day, your children will want to return to pick up where they left off, and this is something my Mother didn't expect when she took me back to England.
Best of luck to you and your family

bromleygirl

You make a good point Whatever. Did your Dad stay in the States and is that why yoru sister is here? Do you have other siblings who live int he States or U.K.?
My husband is USC and we may be getting divorced and therefore he would stay in the States.
I have considered the fact that if after moving back to England that when my children become older that they will want to return to the U.S. at some point and will be seperated.
I relise that this is a possibility as my husband has 3 sons from a previous marriage and a large extended family. I have in the U.K. a very small family but several friends.
I have considered staying in the States but I do feel that my children would be missing out on all the great things about growing up British.

whatever

My Dad stayed in the States for a short while after my Mother left with me. He needed to tie off business before returning to try to reconcile differences with my Mother. They ended up divorcing. It was all very dramatic. My Mother never really adapted to the US way of life as she was in her late-40's and felt that it was too late in life to be starting over when all her family, friends and eldest daughter and first 2 Grand children were being born in England. My middle Sister was 21 when we left and decided to make a life for herself in the US, moving in with her boyfriend. She was the only one to remain there.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce Bromleygirl. It sounds as though your husband is not going to stop you from leaving the country with your children, which is very good. At the very least, you have the choice where to live. Were your children born in the US? Are they USC's or dual?
Another aspect of our familys split that may be of interest is that our UK family has never really been able to relate very well to my USC's children. Mostly this is down to the huge gaps between visits and a feeling that you never really got to be a part of their lives or upbringing. Also, they seem to have been brought up SO differently, even though their Mother is English (she basically renounced all her Britishness and went full out American!!). Her children seem to have more problems in many areas and just don't seem to have the same level of respect for their elders? Do you know what I mean? Many times in their Teens I have gasped at what they have said or done! It just wouldn't happen in England - every little thing somehow seemed dramatised.
If we do move to the US, I know my son, who is now 11 has had most of his character building done here and I have to be honest and say I'm very happy about that... if we ever have another baby and it's born in the US, I know this will make things very different and would end up feeling like you and wanting the British influence on his or her life.
I really hope things work out for you... do let us know what you decide to do.
Best of luck