cosmicjunkie

In my case it was my father who loved me unconditionally. My mother was cold, empty and offered nothing but grief.
I do know what you are getting at, but let's face it, relationships are made up of give and take. If a person takes all the time and gives nothing in return ( I'm not just taking about material things) it doesn't add quality to the relationship. For example, if my brother manipulates, uses, and steals off me time after time. I don't think I'm selfish by not having anything to do with him anymore. I think I'm being sensible! There comes a time when you just have to say...family or not. I don't have to put up with this crap!

Juswus

I miss my family and friends terribly
I especially hate that I have missed a huge part of my nieces growing up.

lolpeake103

I seem to miss my family more and more as time goes by. Having lived in the USA for more than half my life now I feel incredibly guilty that I have not been there to help my parents as they get older, and my lovely Mum has just recovered from cancer too, something that was incredibly hard for me to deal with from such a great distance. I am divorced and raise my 3 kids by myself on a very fixed income but do manage to fly home once a year or so, and I have, since the divorce toyed with the idea of moving home again, but I just couldnt afford it. My kids would love to live in England, and I would love for them to be able to experience it, but it doesnt even seem to be an option. I feel very selfish for keeping my parents away from their grandchildren, it crushes me...even now as I write this im crying!!! I am so torn between my somewhat liveable existance in the states and my blood relatives...we are still very close. There seems to be little keeping me in the US apart from financially not being able to move.

VivDee

Of course I don't know all your circumstances but I should think if you really wanted to you could make it.
Look at all the immigrants that come into the UK on a shoestring and over here too!

Hope you make it back home to England. All my best.

Derrygal

You have my sympathies - being divorced and living on one income isn't fun here (well it isn't anywhere I am sure). You don't mention how old your children are, but if they are fairly young, you should seriously think about moving back now. Once they become teenagers/young adults they won't want to move back. You might want to sit down and make a list of pros and cons of moving back (I know a lot of people have mentioned that has helped them make a decision). If you feel you are only "existing" here, you might find that moving back would be a good option for you (not having to pay for health insurance for you and your children would surely be a plus). All the best to you!!

caleyjag

I miss my family, but since they live in the far north of Scotland, and my likely area of employment in the UK would be Cambridge or Kent, I probably see them about as often living here as I would if I lived in the UK.

The main thing that makes California doable for me is that they are currently in good health. If that changes everything will be turned on its head.

lolpeake103

Thankyou Derrygal for your reply
My children are now 14, 12 and 8 and have all said they would like to live in England, they have visited a few times themselves and do seem to love it, but I wonder how different a full move would feel, once the 'honeymoon' period was over, missing friends and relatives over here. I do find it difficult here, I have a good job that I love and friends but its just not the same as family you know? I worry about financially supporting them there and starting over again, I'm not one for handouts and I'm very proud of what I have achieved on my own in the USA, but I do feel very much stuck here, I earn enough to survive and for little luxuries but I just don't have the tens of thousands a full move would seem to cost. I have written the pros and cons list MANY times....this is something I've battled with for years now, since my divorce, there just doeesnt seem to be a right answer, whatever I come up with I feel selfish about, I wish someone would just tell me...." you need to leave" or "you need to go"...lol...it would make the decision so much easier!
I am stuck in an emotional and financial quandry!!