does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
#16
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,546
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
No I wouldn't miss my in-laws. My mother-in-law died two years ago, we were her main carers (she lived in a retirement community in town here.) Now she's gone, that leaves Fran & Dick (or Dan & Frick as my wife dismissively calls them,) SIL & BIL... lovely people but I wouldn't especially miss them.
#17
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I miss my family. My parents both died, but I miss my sisters (2) and my brother, and their kids they are all a bit older than me and my oldest sister was like my surrogate mum, her oldest son is closer in age to me than she is. It is easier to keep in touch with video chat and FB etc, but sometimes that makes you feel worse, when you see you are missing out on social things etc.
#18
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I miss my family. My parents both died, but I miss my sisters (2) and my brother, and their kids they are all a bit older than me and my oldest sister was like my surrogate mum, her oldest son is closer in age to me than she is. It is easier to keep in touch with video chat and FB etc, but sometimes that makes you feel worse, when you see you are missing out on social things etc.
Visits are, of course, even better, but not always doable, obviously!
#19
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I thought I would, when I first moved to America back in 2001 I was living in London with family back in Sunderland and so I did not have a lot to do with them on a daily basis.
This time however, I was living in Sunderland when I came back to America. Seeing parents, brother and sisters regularly I thought I would miss but not so much.
I have been very lucky to marry into a very close family and they have all made me feel exceptionally welcome (even my step-daughter who likes to think she is too cool for feelings).
This time however, I was living in Sunderland when I came back to America. Seeing parents, brother and sisters regularly I thought I would miss but not so much.
I have been very lucky to marry into a very close family and they have all made me feel exceptionally welcome (even my step-daughter who likes to think she is too cool for feelings).
#20
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I don't miss mine.
Though I'm sure that will change if anything were to happen to my mother and the thought that I might not see her again as she is getting on a fair bit.
Never got on with my sister so no love lost there and my brother is already dead.
Though I'm sure that will change if anything were to happen to my mother and the thought that I might not see her again as she is getting on a fair bit.
Never got on with my sister so no love lost there and my brother is already dead.
#21
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Joined: Jul 2010
Location: North East Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,933
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
Same here - my parents are deceased, but I have a brother and sister in the UK. Neither of them have ever been here - even when my daughters got married and they were invited to their weddings. To be fair, my brother cannot really afford to come here (although I offered to help him with his airfare for the weddings), but my sister could, but has chosen not to. She prefers to travel in Europe (esp France). She is very anti-American so maybe that's why. She used to say she wouldn't come here when Bush (W) was president, but he's been gone over 3 years now and still no sign of her coming here. I would never see her if I didn't make the effort to go back to the UK every 2 - 3 years.
#22
Banned
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: Galway in Ireland
Posts: 12
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
We miss a lot, and the biggest issue is the problem that our kids cant see grannies
#23
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I never get homesick or culture shock, and I don't really miss my family all that much. I see them every week on Skype, before I moved out here I spoke on the phone every couple of weeks, so it's technically an improvement even if I don't stay with them for xmas and such.
I'm actually slightly glad that I won't have to deal with them much as they get older (already missed two funerals) so I don't have to remember them so much in such a state.
I'm actually slightly glad that I won't have to deal with them much as they get older (already missed two funerals) so I don't have to remember them so much in such a state.
#24
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Joined: Apr 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,204
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I've been here 20 years and miss my family more now than ever. I think it's the realization that a lifetime of missed little interactions like popping around for dinner or a cup of tea has passed and may never happen.
I don't believe I'd miss my in-laws, they are completely different to my own family and I've never felt accepted or loved by them. My family chat, laugh and shout at each other all within ten minutes. My in-laws sit glumly around silently.
On other hand I have a bit of a chip because my family never travel here and I have always had to travel back there. They've been here a handful of times in 20 years and didn't come over for the birth of my kids. That grates a bit, American families seem so tight-nit and supportive compared to mine.
I had an English friend here give a great example of the differences between US and British families...at kids sports events in the US people will bring themselves, coolers, pets, extended family, lawn chairs etc. In the U.K there might be one lone bloke with an alsatian on the sidelines watching the game.
My family claim to be anti-American politics and they do travel all over Europe. It's hurtful but if I want to see them I have to suck it up and hop on a plane.
I don't believe I'd miss my in-laws, they are completely different to my own family and I've never felt accepted or loved by them. My family chat, laugh and shout at each other all within ten minutes. My in-laws sit glumly around silently.
On other hand I have a bit of a chip because my family never travel here and I have always had to travel back there. They've been here a handful of times in 20 years and didn't come over for the birth of my kids. That grates a bit, American families seem so tight-nit and supportive compared to mine.
I had an English friend here give a great example of the differences between US and British families...at kids sports events in the US people will bring themselves, coolers, pets, extended family, lawn chairs etc. In the U.K there might be one lone bloke with an alsatian on the sidelines watching the game.
My family claim to be anti-American politics and they do travel all over Europe. It's hurtful but if I want to see them I have to suck it up and hop on a plane.
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 61
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I guess for me, when I was over in the UK, I missed my family, but I didn't really think about it. Was studying quite a bit, to help with was feelings I did have, I would often go to the pub with my classmates. That sort of camaraderie that you find in pubs really helped with homesickness.
#26
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I absolutely miss my parents. Originally, years ago, when we first told them of our plans to accept my OH's job offer, they were really upset. I think my dad felt that I was taking the kids away from my mum, who I have to say, really brought them up in the early years as I was working all the hours God sends to make ends meet financially. So I suppose, the guilt in the beginning for me, was awful. I talk to them on Skype at least once or twice a week, send them photos of what we're up to and keep them up to date on everything the kids are doing, which I know they appreciate, but for them, it's not the same
As for the in-laws, if you'd asked me before Christmas if I missed them, I'd probably have said slightly. Now, after the shenanigans during our first visit home, absolutely not and I won't be rushing to book another trip home. For me, I think it's been one of the hardest parts of moving, not being able to pop round when a problem arises that I need advice on, or running to the shops with my mum to get her out for a bit, because my parents have been so supportive since we actually took the plunge. I have to agree with what someone else said, I have certainly found out who matters and who doesn't
As for the in-laws, if you'd asked me before Christmas if I missed them, I'd probably have said slightly. Now, after the shenanigans during our first visit home, absolutely not and I won't be rushing to book another trip home. For me, I think it's been one of the hardest parts of moving, not being able to pop round when a problem arises that I need advice on, or running to the shops with my mum to get her out for a bit, because my parents have been so supportive since we actually took the plunge. I have to agree with what someone else said, I have certainly found out who matters and who doesn't
#27
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I am very grateful for being a 'safe distance' away from them. The obligations to do stuff with family was annoying. Nowadays, everyone comes over here to visit and I honestly believe I see my mum more now than I ever did before, and more that I would if I were to return (she comes over for about 6 weeks every year).
Email (in the old days) and now Instant Messaging allows my brother and I to communicate way more than we ever did when I lived there.
Email (in the old days) and now Instant Messaging allows my brother and I to communicate way more than we ever did when I lived there.
#28
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I hate phone calls! I do call my mum on a weekly basis because she's too old to do anything else (won't touch a computer), but I use IM with my brother and it's great. We can have a day-long 'conversation' running in the background as I work and get on with other stuff. With the phone, you can't get on with much else. IM has been a Godsend.
#29
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I hate phone calls! I do call my mum on a weekly basis because she's too old to do anything else (won't touch a computer), but I use IM with my brother and it's great. We can have a day-long 'conversation' running in the background as I work and get on with other stuff. With the phone, you can't get on with much else. IM has been a Godsend.
#30
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Joined: Jan 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 472
Re: does anyone actually not miss their family back home ? ;)
I never used to miss my Mum. We're not close but as I got older and she got older...she's more fragile. I travel back once a year to see her at either Christmas or New Year (in freezing Glasgow!) - she can't make the trip out here - too long for her. Since Mum's not doing too well might have to make it back twice a year now.
Miss my best pal too. Pals since childhood. All my pals over here have left and gone back in the last few years so it's hard right now.
Don't miss the rest of the family and I also never invite them out here since I really don't want to spend time with them.
Miss my best pal too. Pals since childhood. All my pals over here have left and gone back in the last few years so it's hard right now.
Don't miss the rest of the family and I also never invite them out here since I really don't want to spend time with them.