cindyabs

They are blood, and blood that is part of you. The only trouble is that doesn't make things automatically okay when the "missings" kick in since from all these postings there are some barriers that make resolution of the issue difficult, if not seemingly impossible. It's no fun when someone feels manipulated or obligated to visit, especially when they don't think that if the situation were reversed, the same effort would not be (for whatever reason) put forth. So you make the effort, possibly grudgingly, possibly guiltily and most certainly not happily. Emotions get involved because blood is involved, and that blood matters.

You know what, distance can amplify it, but not necessarily cause it ecause there's an ocean in the way.

My grandmother used to expect my parents to visit she and my grandfather every other weekend when they were first married. They lived a 4 hours drive away and those were in the days before there were any motorways...... The other two weekends in the month, my grandparents would drive down to spend the weekends with my aunt and her husband....... My dad got pneumonia and my mother called my grandmother to tell her they wouldn't be coming that weekend because dad was sick. Well, my grandmother showed up on their doorstep to take care of her little boy.... Then my grandparents moved to Florida, and obviously the regular visits ceased. However, they moved back to a half hour away from us and every day, EVERY day, they drove over after I got home from school...

So....

We can't make people behave the way we want them to, blood or no. We have to do what is best for us and our immediate family. BUT, we are respectful of feelings and do the right thing AS BEST WE CAN, WITH WHAT WE CAN for the others in our circle.

Sally Redux

Sorry to hear about your health problems.

Desdemona

Just sent you a pm.

Uncle Ebenezer

I don't tend to miss people - other than my wife, if she has to go away for a few days on business. I never have missed family or friends, if I'm not around them - I enjoy being with them, on the occasions we do go back, but I'm quite happy to come home and when they're out of sight, they're out of mind.

To be honest, the only reason we ever went back to England was for my parents. Now they're both dead, I'm not sure we'll go back again at all. In the 10 years we've been over here, apart from my brother visiting in 2005, nobody else has been over - I think they're of the opinion that, as I was the one to leave, I should be the one to make the trips.

I speak to my brother and sisters on facebook occasionally, don't do skype and hardly ever talk on the phone. If I thought I could safely unfriend them on facebook, I'd do it, if only to do away with the slight guilt I feel, when I don't reply to their messages.

SultanOfSwing

You could stage a facebook founce. I have friends who have done that before. Just say "I've had it with FB, I'm buggering off out of it". Then set up a new account and re-friend only those who you want to keep in touch with.

Uncle Ebenezer

She'd probably realise that, when the little message window popped up. The rest of us really didn't need to know.

Uncle Ebenezer

Exactly how does one "founce"? I'm intrigued.

SultanOfSwing

Bollocks.

I seem to have misspelt 'flounce', don't I ... ?

sallysimmons

I didn't miss my family for years.

Then my dad died.

Made me realize what I had lost in my desire to have 'adventures.'

Now my mum is getting old and I'm leaving as fast as I can. I can't take back all the years that I put myself first even though my parents spent so long putting me first, but I can put things right now.

My genuine heartfelt sympathies to those who don't have close family bonds. I know how valuable they are, and everyone should have that.

Desdemona

Helpful as ever, our Uncle EB Love you too!

VivDee

You know as hard as it to admit we are all basically selfish!


It is almost impossible to have a true good friend and as far as relatives go we don't usually love them unconditionally,they have to provide us with something we need.

It is only mothers who love no matter what. Maybe dads too.

augigi

I miss my friends. I miss my little nieces and nephews and watching them grow up - they don't really know me anymore which makes me sad. I don't really miss the rest of my family now that my mum is gone.

No one has come to visit me in the 4 years I've lived here, although I've been home once a year. My dad even went to the US on his first overseas trip last year... but just to Vegas and didn't visit me!!

penguinbar

My husband doesn't miss his family. He misses some of his friends.

VivDee

Ouch,That had to hurt.

cosmicjunkie

It used to make me sad, but it doesn't anymore! My conscious is clear. I have not done anything wrong. It's just the way it is and I had to accept that many years ago. I still do wonder why on earth was I born into that family, but then again I wouldn't have swopped my dear father for anyone else. Instead of dwelling on my misfortune, I have drawn strength from my own solitude and can actually see the positive side to my situation. I'm free to do as I wish!