One year in
Apr 17th 2008 | 1:14 am
#1
Thread Starter
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,374
One year in
Well its one year now, below is the post I wrote at 4 months if anybodys interested.
And where do I begin now, I don’t have too much to add really, except things continued to get more and more stressful, life got more and more shit, not for the kids, as usual , we done the best we could for them, their life is probably much the same as it was in Scotland, except they go outside less.
I think both Hugh and I underestimated the strain we would both be under, we both work and commute longer, work harder also, are a lot more bloody tired (which is summit I can hardly take,), It takes this to give the kids what they had in scotland.
We also split up for a short time, it all just got too much, we saw each other a lot less, other stuff got in the way, trying to make a social life, busy working , etc, etc, and this week we go to marriage guidance , ohhh the joys.
Our teen is currently doing ~VCE here in melbourne and will be finished in 2009, and we both agree we ‘will take stock’ and decide whether to return to scotland,, but the torch still shines faintly for aus, and we still clamber to it.
I now worry endlessly about our future, if we stay here, it looks likely that we will have to work till we’re 100 as we have no real assets. I try to use the forums less than I did, as I know they make me paranoid, about money, property and pensions, something my former self would never in a million years worried about (how I long for my pre-forum self).
My true hopes for the future are.
To be back in scotland where everyone talks like me and laughs at the crazy things I do!!!!!!!
ts me Margaret (43), Hugh (43), our kids, Emily (15), and Lorna (8)
Well I would say approx 2 years ago we decided let just bloody go for it, we went through all the usual arguments at this stage, life is too short!! We are not getting any younger, let’s give the kids new experiences, and are sure you all know the script.............
We knew we would be emigrating with limited funds, we done our research , we saw the house prices, the cost of living, the price of bananas and school uniforms , but on we went, we sold our small house...........which I loved, I knew I would miss it , I knew I would miss my neighbours, but we didn't have the luxury of keeping it we needed the dash
When I closed the door to my house for the last time it was one of the saddest moments of my life, we had stayed their for 13 years, it felt like someone had snatched it all away, I know its silly but its the way I felt, I cried and sometimes still do over it (crying writing it actually)
Furniture and possessions
this was a strange thing for me , we didn’t have a big house or lots of possessions so it wasn't worth shipping, but it got to the stage I just couldn’t bear to throw or give anything else away, so its stilled stored in Scotland, at a bargain price of 50 quid per month at kylie removals, we had sold our white good with the house
Why emigrate???
Why indeed?? does anyone know why they do, we knew we might not be better off, I knew I would never be posting 'our house build', or 'how much to build a swimming pool', so why, ..........well apart from our midlife crisis .............we were rotting away, we were doing the same things day in day out...
So off we went and bloody done it and right now am going to bed and will continue my diary
Strange times indeed
The feelings emotions I have had since arriving have been ........well........not good Support comes from the strangest of places , from people I had never met, who have given me help and support and became my friends, people on here I have still to meet Once I was in the salvos and the old lady behind the counter was Scottish , she asked me how I had settled in, I started to cry, after several cups of tea, I finally left, think she thought she was going to have to adopt me Willj for driving over with a mattress) (I had never met her before )when we had nothing to sleep on.
Also my bros, and my sister, I expected my bros to hit the roof when we told him we were emigrating, but he has been a star, and is still helping us with loose ends in Scotland, my sister whom is in the usa (has been for over 20 years), and will support me know matter what, and best thing is she is going to try to visit at xmas
However I have been saddened even angered by people I knew before arrival, I wasn't looking to live in their pockets, I would have been happy with the odd phone call even a txt, did it happen ehhhhhhhhh no, they met me once, perhaps twice then silence One couple in particular I have known for years and years, I think its a case of 'am all right jack', I know am a bit of a hot head , but when things are 'not alright jack', then they will find my door firmly closed
As some of you know I went through endless torment with my teen , she came validated her visa and then returned to Scotland, then she came back, I was really uptight over this period also work was not going well, and hubby not working. One night we went to an expats house, me, the kids, and Jane, my good friend whom I met at the campsite where we first stayed. On leaving teen and I had an argument, and I thought 'I cant take it anymore', and ran away, literally ran away, leaving my kids with Jane the frightening thing was I only came back because I knew I had to, I actually didn't want to, but again with the help and support of my good friends Jane and Sharon (Shazmac), I think I am a bit saner again, during these times you find out who will be your real friends.
Work
Hated it from the minute I walked in, this was and still is when I feel the most homesick, as I lived in a small town and worked in the hosp for years and years, I knew most people there, some of them my friends and neighbours, some my children’s friends parents. I have had to work longer hours and work harder than I have ever done in my life, I knew I had to keep going, we needed the money, but again things are getting better, I am still there (but only coz I have a lovely boss, who again has supported me when I was down). I have now joined a nursing agency and will eventually leave the hosp I am in, the agency if great and professional, plus the money is great, and it is already opening up doors for me, they have offered to pay towards a teaching course for me at tafe, so I am really excited about that.
Relationship with hubster
It has been fraught to say the least, money worries, me being mental and worrying myself sick about teen, him not working me feeling bitter coz I had to , the agreement was he didn't work until the kids were settled, but I felt he wasn’t even looking or making an effort to find out what was out there, but he is now working , he went for an interview last Monday and they told him to start on Tuesday (he's a printer), the money is rubbish, but as people who are here know you got to start somewhere. More importantly he is enjoying it and says the guys he's working with are brand new; they were getting him to show them Kilmarnock on Goole earth. Gotta mention here also, my husband phoned his old boss last night and he still hasn't found anyone to replace him his actual words were 'anyone I have interviewed wants megabucks when I explain what you did at work', we don’t feel angry about this George is a fib guy and we know for a fact he paid Hugh what he could afford, otherwise it would be another business folding in Scotland. Once is wife won some money and gave me £300 of it to buy myself some clothes they are a lovely, genuine couple.
My children
And where do I begin now, I don’t have too much to add really, except things continued to get more and more stressful, life got more and more shit, not for the kids, as usual , we done the best we could for them, their life is probably much the same as it was in Scotland, except they go outside less.
I think both Hugh and I underestimated the strain we would both be under, we both work and commute longer, work harder also, are a lot more bloody tired (which is summit I can hardly take,), It takes this to give the kids what they had in scotland.
We also split up for a short time, it all just got too much, we saw each other a lot less, other stuff got in the way, trying to make a social life, busy working , etc, etc, and this week we go to marriage guidance , ohhh the joys.
Our teen is currently doing ~VCE here in melbourne and will be finished in 2009, and we both agree we ‘will take stock’ and decide whether to return to scotland,, but the torch still shines faintly for aus, and we still clamber to it.
I now worry endlessly about our future, if we stay here, it looks likely that we will have to work till we’re 100 as we have no real assets. I try to use the forums less than I did, as I know they make me paranoid, about money, property and pensions, something my former self would never in a million years worried about (how I long for my pre-forum self).
My true hopes for the future are.
To be back in scotland where everyone talks like me and laughs at the crazy things I do!!!!!!!
ts me Margaret (43), Hugh (43), our kids, Emily (15), and Lorna (8)
Well I would say approx 2 years ago we decided let just bloody go for it, we went through all the usual arguments at this stage, life is too short!! We are not getting any younger, let’s give the kids new experiences, and are sure you all know the script.............
We knew we would be emigrating with limited funds, we done our research , we saw the house prices, the cost of living, the price of bananas and school uniforms , but on we went, we sold our small house...........which I loved, I knew I would miss it , I knew I would miss my neighbours, but we didn't have the luxury of keeping it we needed the dash
When I closed the door to my house for the last time it was one of the saddest moments of my life, we had stayed their for 13 years, it felt like someone had snatched it all away, I know its silly but its the way I felt, I cried and sometimes still do over it (crying writing it actually)
Furniture and possessions
this was a strange thing for me , we didn’t have a big house or lots of possessions so it wasn't worth shipping, but it got to the stage I just couldn’t bear to throw or give anything else away, so its stilled stored in Scotland, at a bargain price of 50 quid per month at kylie removals, we had sold our white good with the house
Why emigrate???
Why indeed?? does anyone know why they do, we knew we might not be better off, I knew I would never be posting 'our house build', or 'how much to build a swimming pool', so why, ..........well apart from our midlife crisis .............we were rotting away, we were doing the same things day in day out...
So off we went and bloody done it and right now am going to bed and will continue my diary
Strange times indeed
The feelings emotions I have had since arriving have been ........well........not good Support comes from the strangest of places , from people I had never met, who have given me help and support and became my friends, people on here I have still to meet Once I was in the salvos and the old lady behind the counter was Scottish , she asked me how I had settled in, I started to cry, after several cups of tea, I finally left, think she thought she was going to have to adopt me Willj for driving over with a mattress) (I had never met her before )when we had nothing to sleep on.
Also my bros, and my sister, I expected my bros to hit the roof when we told him we were emigrating, but he has been a star, and is still helping us with loose ends in Scotland, my sister whom is in the usa (has been for over 20 years), and will support me know matter what, and best thing is she is going to try to visit at xmas
However I have been saddened even angered by people I knew before arrival, I wasn't looking to live in their pockets, I would have been happy with the odd phone call even a txt, did it happen ehhhhhhhhh no, they met me once, perhaps twice then silence One couple in particular I have known for years and years, I think its a case of 'am all right jack', I know am a bit of a hot head , but when things are 'not alright jack', then they will find my door firmly closed
As some of you know I went through endless torment with my teen , she came validated her visa and then returned to Scotland, then she came back, I was really uptight over this period also work was not going well, and hubby not working. One night we went to an expats house, me, the kids, and Jane, my good friend whom I met at the campsite where we first stayed. On leaving teen and I had an argument, and I thought 'I cant take it anymore', and ran away, literally ran away, leaving my kids with Jane the frightening thing was I only came back because I knew I had to, I actually didn't want to, but again with the help and support of my good friends Jane and Sharon (Shazmac), I think I am a bit saner again, during these times you find out who will be your real friends.
Work
Hated it from the minute I walked in, this was and still is when I feel the most homesick, as I lived in a small town and worked in the hosp for years and years, I knew most people there, some of them my friends and neighbours, some my children’s friends parents. I have had to work longer hours and work harder than I have ever done in my life, I knew I had to keep going, we needed the money, but again things are getting better, I am still there (but only coz I have a lovely boss, who again has supported me when I was down). I have now joined a nursing agency and will eventually leave the hosp I am in, the agency if great and professional, plus the money is great, and it is already opening up doors for me, they have offered to pay towards a teaching course for me at tafe, so I am really excited about that.
Relationship with hubster
It has been fraught to say the least, money worries, me being mental and worrying myself sick about teen, him not working me feeling bitter coz I had to , the agreement was he didn't work until the kids were settled, but I felt he wasn’t even looking or making an effort to find out what was out there, but he is now working , he went for an interview last Monday and they told him to start on Tuesday (he's a printer), the money is rubbish, but as people who are here know you got to start somewhere. More importantly he is enjoying it and says the guys he's working with are brand new; they were getting him to show them Kilmarnock on Goole earth. Gotta mention here also, my husband phoned his old boss last night and he still hasn't found anyone to replace him his actual words were 'anyone I have interviewed wants megabucks when I explain what you did at work', we don’t feel angry about this George is a fib guy and we know for a fact he paid Hugh what he could afford, otherwise it would be another business folding in Scotland. Once is wife won some money and gave me £300 of it to buy myself some clothes they are a lovely, genuine couple.
My children
Apr 17th 2008 | 5:32 am
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 252
From: Benowa, Gold Coast
Re: One year in
Well its one year now, below is the post I wrote at 4 months if anybodys interested.
And where do I begin now, I don’t have too much to add really, except things continued to get more and more stressful, life got more and more shit, not for the kids, as usual , we done the best we could for them, their life is probably much the same as it was in Scotland, except they go outside less.
I think both Hugh and I underestimated the strain we would both be under, we both work and commute longer, work harder also, are a lot more bloody tired (which is summit I can hardly take,), It takes this to give the kids what they had in scotland.
We also split up for a short time, it all just got too much, we saw each other a lot less, other stuff got in the way, trying to make a social life, busy working , etc, etc, and this week we go to marriage guidance , ohhh the joys.
Our teen is currently doing ~VCE here in melbourne and will be finished in 2009, and we both agree we ‘will take stock’ and decide whether to return to scotland,, but the torch still shines faintly for aus, and we still clamber to it.
I now worry endlessly about our future, if we stay here, it looks likely that we will have to work till we’re 100 as we have no real assets. I try to use the forums less than I did, as I know they make me paranoid, about money, property and pensions, something my former self would never in a million years worried about (how I long for my pre-forum self).
My true hopes for the future are.
To be back in scotland where everyone talks like me and laughs at the crazy things I do!!!!!!!
ts me Margaret (43), Hugh (43), our kids, Emily (15), and Lorna (8)
Well I would say approx 2 years ago we decided let just bloody go for it, we went through all the usual arguments at this stage, life is too short!! We are not getting any younger, let’s give the kids new experiences, and are sure you all know the script.............
We knew we would be emigrating with limited funds, we done our research , we saw the house prices, the cost of living, the price of bananas and school uniforms , but on we went, we sold our small house...........which I loved, I knew I would miss it , I knew I would miss my neighbours, but we didn't have the luxury of keeping it we needed the dash
When I closed the door to my house for the last time it was one of the saddest moments of my life, we had stayed their for 13 years, it felt like someone had snatched it all away, I know its silly but its the way I felt, I cried and sometimes still do over it (crying writing it actually)
Furniture and possessions
this was a strange thing for me , we didn’t have a big house or lots of possessions so it wasn't worth shipping, but it got to the stage I just couldn’t bear to throw or give anything else away, so its stilled stored in Scotland, at a bargain price of 50 quid per month at kylie removals, we had sold our white good with the house
Why emigrate???
Why indeed?? does anyone know why they do, we knew we might not be better off, I knew I would never be posting 'our house build', or 'how much to build a swimming pool', so why, ..........well apart from our midlife crisis .............we were rotting away, we were doing the same things day in day out...
So off we went and bloody done it and right now am going to bed and will continue my diary
Strange times indeed
The feelings emotions I have had since arriving have been ........well........not good Support comes from the strangest of places , from people I had never met, who have given me help and support and became my friends, people on here I have still to meet Once I was in the salvos and the old lady behind the counter was Scottish , she asked me how I had settled in, I started to cry, after several cups of tea, I finally left, think she thought she was going to have to adopt me Willj for driving over with a mattress) (I had never met her before )when we had nothing to sleep on.
Also my bros, and my sister, I expected my bros to hit the roof when we told him we were emigrating, but he has been a star, and is still helping us with loose ends in Scotland, my sister whom is in the usa (has been for over 20 years), and will support me know matter what, and best thing is she is going to try to visit at xmas
However I have been saddened even angered by people I knew before arrival, I wasn't looking to live in their pockets, I would have been happy with the odd phone call even a txt, did it happen ehhhhhhhhh no, they met me once, perhaps twice then silence One couple in particular I have known for years and years, I think its a case of 'am all right jack', I know am a bit of a hot head , but when things are 'not alright jack', then they will find my door firmly closed
As some of you know I went through endless torment with my teen , she came validated her visa and then returned to Scotland, then she came back, I was really uptight over this period also work was not going well, and hubby not working. One night we went to an expats house, me, the kids, and Jane, my good friend whom I met at the campsite where we first stayed. On leaving teen and I had an argument, and I thought 'I cant take it anymore', and ran away, literally ran away, leaving my kids with Jane the frightening thing was I only came back because I knew I had to, I actually didn't want to, but again with the help and support of my good friends Jane and Sharon (Shazmac), I think I am a bit saner again, during these times you find out who will be your real friends.
Work
Hated it from the minute I walked in, this was and still is when I feel the most homesick, as I lived in a small town and worked in the hosp for years and years, I knew most people there, some of them my friends and neighbours, some my children’s friends parents. I have had to work longer hours and work harder than I have ever done in my life, I knew I had to keep going, we needed the money, but again things are getting better, I am still there (but only coz I have a lovely boss, who again has supported me when I was down). I have now joined a nursing agency and will eventually leave the hosp I am in, the agency if great and professional, plus the money is great, and it is already opening up doors for me, they have offered to pay towards a teaching course for me at tafe, so I am really excited about that.
Relationship with hubster
It has been fraught to say the least, money worries, me being mental and worrying myself sick about teen, him not working me feeling bitter coz I had to , the agreement was he didn't work until the kids were settled, but I felt he wasn’t even looking or making an effort to find out what was out there, but he is now working , he went for an interview last Monday and they told him to start on Tuesday (he's a printer), the money is rubbish, but as people who are here know you got to start somewhere. More importantly he is enjoying it and says the guys he's working with are brand new; they were getting him to show them Kilmarnock on Goole earth. Gotta mention here also, my husband phoned his old boss last night and he still hasn't found anyone to replace him his actual words were 'anyone I have interviewed wants megabucks when I explain what you did at work', we don’t feel angry about this George is a fib guy and we know for a fact he paid Hugh what he could afford, otherwise it would be another business folding in Scotland. Once is wife won some money and gave me £300 of it to buy myself some clothes they are a lovely, genuine couple.
My children
And where do I begin now, I don’t have too much to add really, except things continued to get more and more stressful, life got more and more shit, not for the kids, as usual , we done the best we could for them, their life is probably much the same as it was in Scotland, except they go outside less.
I think both Hugh and I underestimated the strain we would both be under, we both work and commute longer, work harder also, are a lot more bloody tired (which is summit I can hardly take,), It takes this to give the kids what they had in scotland.
We also split up for a short time, it all just got too much, we saw each other a lot less, other stuff got in the way, trying to make a social life, busy working , etc, etc, and this week we go to marriage guidance , ohhh the joys.
Our teen is currently doing ~VCE here in melbourne and will be finished in 2009, and we both agree we ‘will take stock’ and decide whether to return to scotland,, but the torch still shines faintly for aus, and we still clamber to it.
I now worry endlessly about our future, if we stay here, it looks likely that we will have to work till we’re 100 as we have no real assets. I try to use the forums less than I did, as I know they make me paranoid, about money, property and pensions, something my former self would never in a million years worried about (how I long for my pre-forum self).
My true hopes for the future are.
To be back in scotland where everyone talks like me and laughs at the crazy things I do!!!!!!!
ts me Margaret (43), Hugh (43), our kids, Emily (15), and Lorna (8)
Well I would say approx 2 years ago we decided let just bloody go for it, we went through all the usual arguments at this stage, life is too short!! We are not getting any younger, let’s give the kids new experiences, and are sure you all know the script.............
We knew we would be emigrating with limited funds, we done our research , we saw the house prices, the cost of living, the price of bananas and school uniforms , but on we went, we sold our small house...........which I loved, I knew I would miss it , I knew I would miss my neighbours, but we didn't have the luxury of keeping it we needed the dash
When I closed the door to my house for the last time it was one of the saddest moments of my life, we had stayed their for 13 years, it felt like someone had snatched it all away, I know its silly but its the way I felt, I cried and sometimes still do over it (crying writing it actually)
Furniture and possessions
this was a strange thing for me , we didn’t have a big house or lots of possessions so it wasn't worth shipping, but it got to the stage I just couldn’t bear to throw or give anything else away, so its stilled stored in Scotland, at a bargain price of 50 quid per month at kylie removals, we had sold our white good with the house
Why emigrate???
Why indeed?? does anyone know why they do, we knew we might not be better off, I knew I would never be posting 'our house build', or 'how much to build a swimming pool', so why, ..........well apart from our midlife crisis .............we were rotting away, we were doing the same things day in day out...
So off we went and bloody done it and right now am going to bed and will continue my diary
Strange times indeed
The feelings emotions I have had since arriving have been ........well........not good Support comes from the strangest of places , from people I had never met, who have given me help and support and became my friends, people on here I have still to meet Once I was in the salvos and the old lady behind the counter was Scottish , she asked me how I had settled in, I started to cry, after several cups of tea, I finally left, think she thought she was going to have to adopt me Willj for driving over with a mattress) (I had never met her before )when we had nothing to sleep on.
Also my bros, and my sister, I expected my bros to hit the roof when we told him we were emigrating, but he has been a star, and is still helping us with loose ends in Scotland, my sister whom is in the usa (has been for over 20 years), and will support me know matter what, and best thing is she is going to try to visit at xmas
However I have been saddened even angered by people I knew before arrival, I wasn't looking to live in their pockets, I would have been happy with the odd phone call even a txt, did it happen ehhhhhhhhh no, they met me once, perhaps twice then silence One couple in particular I have known for years and years, I think its a case of 'am all right jack', I know am a bit of a hot head , but when things are 'not alright jack', then they will find my door firmly closed
As some of you know I went through endless torment with my teen , she came validated her visa and then returned to Scotland, then she came back, I was really uptight over this period also work was not going well, and hubby not working. One night we went to an expats house, me, the kids, and Jane, my good friend whom I met at the campsite where we first stayed. On leaving teen and I had an argument, and I thought 'I cant take it anymore', and ran away, literally ran away, leaving my kids with Jane the frightening thing was I only came back because I knew I had to, I actually didn't want to, but again with the help and support of my good friends Jane and Sharon (Shazmac), I think I am a bit saner again, during these times you find out who will be your real friends.
Work
Hated it from the minute I walked in, this was and still is when I feel the most homesick, as I lived in a small town and worked in the hosp for years and years, I knew most people there, some of them my friends and neighbours, some my children’s friends parents. I have had to work longer hours and work harder than I have ever done in my life, I knew I had to keep going, we needed the money, but again things are getting better, I am still there (but only coz I have a lovely boss, who again has supported me when I was down). I have now joined a nursing agency and will eventually leave the hosp I am in, the agency if great and professional, plus the money is great, and it is already opening up doors for me, they have offered to pay towards a teaching course for me at tafe, so I am really excited about that.
Relationship with hubster
It has been fraught to say the least, money worries, me being mental and worrying myself sick about teen, him not working me feeling bitter coz I had to , the agreement was he didn't work until the kids were settled, but I felt he wasn’t even looking or making an effort to find out what was out there, but he is now working , he went for an interview last Monday and they told him to start on Tuesday (he's a printer), the money is rubbish, but as people who are here know you got to start somewhere. More importantly he is enjoying it and says the guys he's working with are brand new; they were getting him to show them Kilmarnock on Goole earth. Gotta mention here also, my husband phoned his old boss last night and he still hasn't found anyone to replace him his actual words were 'anyone I have interviewed wants megabucks when I explain what you did at work', we don’t feel angry about this George is a fib guy and we know for a fact he paid Hugh what he could afford, otherwise it would be another business folding in Scotland. Once is wife won some money and gave me £300 of it to buy myself some clothes they are a lovely, genuine couple.
My children
Keep your chin it and be positive Im sure it will all work out okay. And thanks for sharing it is good to get the bad and not just the good everything is rosy stories. Good luck x
Apr 17th 2008 | 7:25 am
#3
Former Resident Visa
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,887
From: Mornington Peninsula
Re: One year in
Margaret, I've followed your plight for quite some time and I'm really sorry it's not gone too smoothly for you 
I always think it's best to live for the moment and not live to regret.
Can you imagine the 'what if's?' if you'd have stayed in Scotland?
Best of luck for the future.
J x
BTW, you always make me laugh
I always think it's best to live for the moment and not live to regret.
Can you imagine the 'what if's?' if you'd have stayed in Scotland?
Best of luck for the future.
J x
BTW, you always make me laugh
Apr 17th 2008 | 3:08 pm
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 607
From: Tallebudgera
Re: One year in
HI Margeret,
I am so sorry you are having a rough time of it. I cant offer anything but my thoughts and good wishes for you. I know everything seems worse when its going badly with marriage I have been though that myself. But it can get better if you both want it too.
Good luck
I am so sorry you are having a rough time of it. I cant offer anything but my thoughts and good wishes for you. I know everything seems worse when its going badly with marriage I have been though that myself. But it can get better if you both want it too.
Good luck
Apr 17th 2008 | 7:44 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 21,434
From: Tropical North QLD
Re: One year in
I am really sorry to read that you have found it quite so hard since moving.
I really do hope that life will improve for you!
I really do hope that life will improve for you!
Apr 19th 2008 | 10:08 am
#6
Ok this isn't so bad
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,824
From: Dundee (Scotland) now Bayside Brisbane
Re: One year in
Totally understand where you're coming from. Sometimes wish we were sitting back in the pub in Scotland sipping some gin and dreaming.....then going home!
Life's certainly been challenging since getting here and the strain is immense. It's extremely hard to come here with very little and find you have to go not only the extra mile but bloody 5 mile just to get somewhere.
Just gotta keep on going missus x
Ginny
Life's certainly been challenging since getting here and the strain is immense. It's extremely hard to come here with very little and find you have to go not only the extra mile but bloody 5 mile just to get somewhere.
Just gotta keep on going missus x
Ginny
Apr 19th 2008 | 11:56 am
#7
to be or not to be...
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 195
Re: One year in
Hello Margret, I wish you the very best, I understand alot of your post, my mother and father had a very difficult time for the first couple of years .
Apr 19th 2008 | 2:49 pm
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 28,175
From: at the bottom of a wine glass
Re: One year in
Hey Margaret - has it been a year already!? Time sure does fly doesn't it - I can remember all the time we used to spend on the site having fun, it seems like only yesterday.
I really, really wish we were closer because I would love to be able to help you through it all. Whatever happens in your future I sincerely wish you to be happy and for you to be somewhere you feel 'right'. One thing though, if you decide you are going back to Scotland you have to come to Adelaide for a girls night out first.
I really, really wish we were closer because I would love to be able to help you through it all. Whatever happens in your future I sincerely wish you to be happy and for you to be somewhere you feel 'right'. One thing though, if you decide you are going back to Scotland you have to come to Adelaide for a girls night out first.
Apr 19th 2008 | 4:47 pm
#9
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 612
From: Saddleworth
Re: One year in
Oh Margaret I feel for you, it really is such a strain on all relationships moving your life to the other side of the world. I cannot believe that we are still married after our first 3 months were horrendous, such pressure!!!!!!!!!
I am now so glad that my little house didnt sell and am just about to rent it out cos I'm quite sure that once daughter has finished school in 2010 we will be planning to return home.Not sure if daughter will stay or come back with us but thats something will have to deal with nearer the time.
I am glad that there is a light at the end of the tunnel workwise for you I hate my job too. (nursing). I too, miss that banter and sense of humour that many brits have.
I am really glad that you posted such an honest account, I know many people dont want to hear the negative or not so good stuff but its a reality that some of us know matter how much preperation we have done before arriving, really struggle with life here.
Good Luck and good wishes for the next 12 months no matter what you decide.
I am now so glad that my little house didnt sell and am just about to rent it out cos I'm quite sure that once daughter has finished school in 2010 we will be planning to return home.Not sure if daughter will stay or come back with us but thats something will have to deal with nearer the time.
I am glad that there is a light at the end of the tunnel workwise for you I hate my job too. (nursing). I too, miss that banter and sense of humour that many brits have.
I am really glad that you posted such an honest account, I know many people dont want to hear the negative or not so good stuff but its a reality that some of us know matter how much preperation we have done before arriving, really struggle with life here.
Good Luck and good wishes for the next 12 months no matter what you decide.
Apr 19th 2008 | 8:35 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 470
Re: One year in
Hi Margaret,,, god I so feel for you,,, I was you just over a year ago,, we came home, but wish we had stayed a little longer or just moved to a new state. Im back with my old job & colleagues and now & struggle to get my emmigrating head back on to return to OZ! the banter I have with my work colleagues is amazing plus I love my job. I to sold my lovely home and cried buckets, i still drive past it now and feel like knocking on the door and saying `give me back my home`, but we have bought another one now, smaller but at least its ours, again this is keeping us from coming bk to OZ. Basically what Im saying is, everything you have just written is quite normal, me & my hubby`s relationship was tested, and friends,,, dont even go there!,, dont think you ever meet friends like you grew up with, obviously you cant-they dont know you from school etc, but there are some good`ns out there, some who do want to help & listen, or just let you have a moan & a whinge, alls you can do is focus on getting your marriage back on track, stay focussed on keeping your kids in a routine and spend as much time together as you can, if you can I would try to get bk to Scotland for a hol, & try & remind yourself why you left in the 1st place. Emmigrating really is a test, it messes with your mental health, emotions and can make you astronger or weaker person,, try to let it make you a stronger person, you were brave enough to go for it,, I know loads who say I`d love to move out of the UK, and do they do it,, no, but they talk about it, its too easy to stay in your comfort zone, lifes not about plodding on and not challenging yourself,, I wish you loads of luck in your new role at work and I hope you get bk on track with your family life,,I`m sure you will.
bluekipper
bluekipper
Apr 20th 2008 | 1:25 pm
#11
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 503
Re: One year in
Hi Margaret,
I've read about some of the hard times you've had since you got here, and I could cry for you. 20/20 hindsight is wonderful, and I'm sure that a lot of us would go back home at the drop of a hat. I don't actually know if I'm happy here at the moment and I haven't been through half of what you have.
It's been your hard work and love of your family that's carried you through the past year and I'd like to think that after all the effort that you've put in that you'll be able to stick it out and maybe get your citizenship before going back to Scotland. That way, if things aren't as good as you think back there, you can always come back here.
I know that some people say 'try moving to another state', but that to me is like the whole emigrating journey starting off again. On saying that, I can't see me living out my life where I am now, it would break my heart to have to stay here any longer than I absolutely have to.
I hope that things start to go right for you now and that you'll find a job where you are appreciated.
All the best for your future,
M
I've read about some of the hard times you've had since you got here, and I could cry for you. 20/20 hindsight is wonderful, and I'm sure that a lot of us would go back home at the drop of a hat. I don't actually know if I'm happy here at the moment and I haven't been through half of what you have.
It's been your hard work and love of your family that's carried you through the past year and I'd like to think that after all the effort that you've put in that you'll be able to stick it out and maybe get your citizenship before going back to Scotland. That way, if things aren't as good as you think back there, you can always come back here.
I know that some people say 'try moving to another state', but that to me is like the whole emigrating journey starting off again. On saying that, I can't see me living out my life where I am now, it would break my heart to have to stay here any longer than I absolutely have to.
I hope that things start to go right for you now and that you'll find a job where you are appreciated.
All the best for your future,
M
Apr 20th 2008 | 2:16 pm
#12
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,503
From: Riverland, SA - Beds/Cambs/Nhants was home in UK
Re: One year in
Hi Margaret ... so sorry to hear that it's been so hard for you to enjoy life here. I hope that marriage guidance helps you both.
My only question perhaps is ... reading your first update you said you were stuck in a rut and it was a bit of what the heck lets emigrate. You can be stuck in a rut anywhere and moving won't necessarily help?? It puts that much pressure on a relationship even the best ones can falter.
The marriage guidance should give you time and opportunity to consider what you both want, priorities etc which I think we often don't do enough of! I'm sure if the best solution is to move back then your children would understand, even if un-settling for school, un-happy parents can be as un-settling too.
Good luck at finding a solution that makes you all a lot happier!
(PS Driving in Melbourne would drive anyone insane, perhaps a move to an easier town to drive in!!?? Says she who grew up near Milton Keynes, the home of the million roundabouts!!)
My only question perhaps is ... reading your first update you said you were stuck in a rut and it was a bit of what the heck lets emigrate. You can be stuck in a rut anywhere and moving won't necessarily help?? It puts that much pressure on a relationship even the best ones can falter.
The marriage guidance should give you time and opportunity to consider what you both want, priorities etc which I think we often don't do enough of! I'm sure if the best solution is to move back then your children would understand, even if un-settling for school, un-happy parents can be as un-settling too.
Good luck at finding a solution that makes you all a lot happier!
(PS Driving in Melbourne would drive anyone insane, perhaps a move to an easier town to drive in!!?? Says she who grew up near Milton Keynes, the home of the million roundabouts!!)
Apr 22nd 2008 | 3:07 am
#14
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: One year in
ffs pal. dint know things were that bad. i must have missed that post from 4 months ago
now that shuggy has some work it might take the strain off you both. having a bit extra cash coming in can change thing around so quick. who cares if the money is pish. its more than he brought in last week!
if your only staying here for the kids then it wont work out in the long run. if you are both unhappy then it wont take too long before it filters through to the kids.
as for friends, some can be fickle hen, you should know that. start to find friends that dont know you as mags three and dont remember every detail you posted on here. some havent worked out that most posts are done for a laugh
sometimes its great meeting new friends who know nothing about you, then the friendship can grow finding out thing about each other. i think its like internet dating in a way. most times it doent work because they know everything about each other before they meet. then when they do they have nothing to learn about each other.
i hope things start to change for you pal. and i will be keeping more of an eye on your posts
sending you some love
soapy
now that shuggy has some work it might take the strain off you both. having a bit extra cash coming in can change thing around so quick. who cares if the money is pish. its more than he brought in last week!
if your only staying here for the kids then it wont work out in the long run. if you are both unhappy then it wont take too long before it filters through to the kids.
as for friends, some can be fickle hen, you should know that. start to find friends that dont know you as mags three and dont remember every detail you posted on here. some havent worked out that most posts are done for a laugh
sometimes its great meeting new friends who know nothing about you, then the friendship can grow finding out thing about each other. i think its like internet dating in a way. most times it doent work because they know everything about each other before they meet. then when they do they have nothing to learn about each other.
i hope things start to change for you pal. and i will be keeping more of an eye on your posts
sending you some love
soapy
Apr 22nd 2008 | 11:39 am
#15
Thread Starter
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,374
Re: One year in
ffs pal. dint know things were that bad. i must have missed that post from 4 months ago
now that shuggy has some work it might take the strain off you both. having a bit extra cash coming in can change thing around so quick. who cares if the money is pish. its more than he brought in last week!
if your only staying here for the kids then it wont work out in the long run. if you are both unhappy then it wont take too long before it filters through to the kids.
as for friends, some can be fickle hen, you should know that. start to find friends that dont know you as mags three and dont remember every detail you posted on here. some havent worked out that most posts are done for a laugh
sometimes its great meeting new friends who know nothing about you, then the friendship can grow finding out thing about each other. i think its like internet dating in a way. most times it doent work because they know everything about each other before they meet. then when they do they have nothing to learn about each other.
i hope things start to change for you pal. and i will be keeping more of an eye on your posts
sending you some love
soapy
now that shuggy has some work it might take the strain off you both. having a bit extra cash coming in can change thing around so quick. who cares if the money is pish. its more than he brought in last week!
if your only staying here for the kids then it wont work out in the long run. if you are both unhappy then it wont take too long before it filters through to the kids.
as for friends, some can be fickle hen, you should know that. start to find friends that dont know you as mags three and dont remember every detail you posted on here. some havent worked out that most posts are done for a laugh
sometimes its great meeting new friends who know nothing about you, then the friendship can grow finding out thing about each other. i think its like internet dating in a way. most times it doent work because they know everything about each other before they meet. then when they do they have nothing to learn about each other.
i hope things start to change for you pal. and i will be keeping more of an eye on your posts
sending you some love
soapy
gawd i sound like a right whinge, although i try not to be in reality.
Hugh has been working for ages now and loves his bloody job
, money still crap but he absolutely loves the people he works with, it must be good there, coz one girl travels from philip island to the the cbd to work there, this must take her , at least 2 hrs there and 2hrs back. He's so easy going, dump him anywhere and tell him to work and he'll like it .I struggle with work soooooooo muuuuuuuch, but i know alot of brit nurses do here, so its reassuring to know am not alone in that respect and that its not just me, just the fact you know its better working in the u.k.
Hugh gets mad at me for the 'expat' thing, he thinks its this thats doing my head in and thinks i should try to intergrate more with aussies, oh yeah, easy for him to say in his fab job, 50% of the nurses i work with are asian and want hee haw to do with me
, and the other 50% already have their lives established.I used to laugh all the time at work, but to be honest i dont see many nurses smile at work here, let alone laugh. I cant remember the last time i really, really laughed, i think i have had a sense of humour bypass since coming here.
Last edited by Margaret3; Apr 22nd 2008 at 11:44 am.
