Chapdawg

Well i am so sorry i answered your question WRONG Charelle.....It is a public forum and you will get what people have to say in THEIR opinion of such a matter.

* Note*
To all you people who think 'Dear' is offensive then Oh well i'm sorry....This is the first time in 50 years i have ever heard of such thing, it's complete ass wiping and sob sob, all a bit over sensitive i'd say, i was trying to be nice and delicate with such matter and be helpful, but i shan't bother again with any of your threads!! Bye.

Pollyana

There are ways and places where calling someone 'dear' is appropriate.......that condescending way of speaking to a stranger isn't one of them as has been pointed out in the Australia forum on many occasions!

Chapdawg

And if I may dare ask , Who makes the decision that it is "condescending" or "inappropriate"..... Surely the Australians arent all wrong too?

Pulaski

I thought you'd left.

Only one person on this thread doesn't see that it is obvious when someone is condescending. If a stranger in the street asks you for help and you start calling them "dear", when would that not appear condescending?

Chapdawg

Where I grew up in England you here it all the time , you commonly hear people asking for the time, and you say it's 10 o'clock my dear blah blah, The word 'dear' is often used when you don't know somebody's name...I use it daily for my business and after 20 years, I have never ever ever ever had anybody roll her eyes, call me a sleazeball or frown upon my address to them.

It just amazes me that so many people say it but yet are considered wrong for doing so .

Jerseygirl

I've refrained from jumping in until now. I recommend new members take time to read the forums...get to know the players before you post.

I think you've got off on the wrong foot. Yes...using the the term 'dear' is seen as extremely patronising. So how do we put that to rights? Firstly...sorry I didn't realise...would probably be best.

Stick with us...we are a nice bunch if folk really. You just have to get to know us before you jump n feet first.


I'm aghast...or gob smacked...I've never heard the term 'my dear' as anything but patronising.

Anyway...this is taking this thread off topic...so let's move on...please.

Chapdawg

I appreciate it but I see nothing but a bunch of hypocrites on here, politically correct wanna be's, Trouble makers, shit stirrers, count me out! Chow.

moneypenny20

What area of England is that and what decade? Not being awkward, honestly interested.

BritInParis

Pulaski, there's a first time for everything!

Jerseygirl

I'm sorry to say...but your reply to me suggests that it is you that should take a long, hard look through the mirror.

If you decide to leave us as per your previous post...then so be it...but I hope you decide to change your manner and stick around. Your choice...

Pulaski

How do you know I don't want to be politically correct? .... I'm finding it a real struggle though!

Pulaski

Relatives and neighbours said it to me when I was a child in Sheffield, and it was, and probably still is used when talking to a friend or neighbour. But IMO to start offering advice to someone you have only just "met", and when the advice is not being well received, to start calling someone "dear", is where you went off the rails.

Pollyana

As someone said further up the thread its not the Australians doing it. It is a term often used in the Aus forums by Indians and Pakistanis, and is seen as extremely patronising because of the way it is used - the same as the way you were using it.

To call a personal friend 'dear', and to use the term face to face, is very different from using it to a complete stranger on a forum, as I and others have already said.

Wintersong

Chow as in 'dog', chow as in 'food', or ciao as in 'goodbye'?

I'm honestly curious.

Bermudashorts

Chapdawg, I honestly do not believe you did grow up in England if you think it is normal to address people as "dear". The only time I would address somebody with that word is in a formal letter and I start with "Dear Chapdawg".

The only time I have seen the word "dear" being used as you are using it is in the Austalian immigration forum by posters from the subcontinent. Would drive us mad in fact I have put repeat offenders on ignore. It is highly patronising, you have to trust us on that.