coastieexpat

I'm sorry for the dramatic headline , I just didn't know how else to put it.

I came back from the UK. after burying my Niece , ( 38 yrs old,with a 5 year battle with breast cancer ).

4 day's after I get back to California they find my pal hanging in his motorhome

I was just wondering if anybody has had any experience with suicide, there was no note, some health and personal issues, but nothing too desperate. He was a happy guy generally.

He was 58 years old, a good mate and I miss him.

Thanks

Mick

bevinva

I'm sorry for your losses.
I don't know what to tell you about the suicide, one of my daughter's friends took his life 3 years ago. I don't think any of his friends saw it coming, he must have been one of those people who put a "mask" over any pain they were carrying. He also left no note, he did delete his myspace. Your friend probably didn't want to burden you with any troubles he had, maybe in a wierd way he wants you to focus on the happy times, not the end.

Bob

A mate's brother hung himself, a cousin's husbands dad ate a shotgun and my brother knew a woman who did pills after her husband was crushed by a train in a work accident close to anniversary of their son dying which was her fault as she dropped a hair dryer or something in the bath tub.

No idea the why's or anything, but it's pretty horrid for everyone concerned, friends family etc.

Condolences on your loss!

coastieexpat

Thank's to you both.

I just can't make sense of it .

I went from , shock , to anger, then to guilt, and almost to acceptance.

He left a lot of S**t in the garage as well...

md95065

My nephew killed himself about 15 years ago - he was in his mid 20's - to this day nobody really knows why he did it - even with hindsight there were no obvious signs before it happened. It really shakes you for all sorts of reasons not least of which is the realization that there was obviously a lot that you didn't know about someone that you thought you knew really well.

Sally Redux

My condolences coastieexpat, it must be hard to lose a good mate in such circumstances.

coastieexpat

Thanks love,

You know , if he had suffered from a heart attack I could understand it.

But that's life I suppose......

kimilseung

I have nothing else to say, other than I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.

augigi

People can appear "happy" and have major clinical depression - you just never know, sometimes even when you live with someone, what is going on in their head. You have to be mentally ill to decide that suicide is a good solution (or the only solution, as I am sure they see it).

You just have to forgive him, concentrate on the good stuff, and move on - a lot harder than it sounds, I know. I don't think the "why" ever goes away when someone commits suicide without warning.

Sarah

Unfortunately I've lost a few people to suicide and it's always devastating and often impossible to understand. A book I'd recommend is "Dying to be free" which is a great help in dealing with the gamut of emotions that come with experiencing the loss of loved one from suicide.
or "Night Falls Fast" which is a thoroughly powerful book, at times incredibly upsetting, raw and insightful.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it isn't easy.

BrittanyB

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm not sure how much help an online forum could really give you with such a devastating situation. Have you checked out support groups locally? I know that there are several support groups for grieving family/friends who have lost someone to suicide , and if there is one in your area, that might be something to look into. It might give you a bit more comfort to talk to people in person, face to face.

Octang Frye

"..ate a shotgun". Way to be tactful, there, Bob...

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And it's really cruel to those who are left behind. Very cruel.

Just don't do it.

coastieexpat

:

Well it has helped, I'm a fairly strong fellow and I have been through worse. I am afraid I started this thread when I was in my cups last night

I just wanted to hear other peoples experiences, perhaps this was not the appropriate forum, I just felt some camaraderie with the people on here.

I do have people to talk to, he had many friends, who are friends of mine.

Thanks for your support.

Leslie

Nothing wrong with local support groups but we're surprisingly not as useless as you might think.

joto

Sorry for your recent losses, Coastie. As someone else said, a bereavment support group might help. If it doesn't suit you or your circumstances, I'm sure there would be no need to stay. Take care of yourself.